Don't Call Us Heroes: A Tabletop RPG Adventure

Here’s another St Patty’s day! Or should I say happy St Hass-el-hoff day in this world! Join our group on the continent next door called Demor Gaulando; a land that is not so different than where our main heroes dwell but is full of adventure.

The heroes start their day as they do every year, but there is a twist! An old foe returns and new forces show themselves. Also there is a beaver. Tim is already drunk too so this is going to be a ride!

The Gallery of Non-Heroes:

Its spooky season once again time! We follow the Heroes of Pumpkinfest (aka Knights of the Indigo Rose) as they continue their vaguely spooky adventures with the noble lady Nicholette for another Pumpkinfest!

In the first episode of this special, our heroes are rewarded with a special trip! They are going to be headed to the Gnomish City of Skyfall! While there they will run into interesting characters, be offered the chance to spend gold, and encounter a scenario that breaks Tim completely. And a special surprise at the end of the episode.

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Welcome to the first main episode of the main storyline of Season 2. Naturally the virus messed up a lot of our plans but we attempted to record remotely despite technical issues. We apologize for the limited quality but most of us have better mics after this recording. We also have a guest listener with us as Bill joins us to spend the night listening to our drunk asses. We briefly recap what happened last time (and it works well to recap everyone) as one of our members is late joining us. We talk about all the possible couples so...

It is time for another 4th of July special! Join our group on the continent next door called Demor Gaulando; a land that is not so different than where our main heroes dwell but is full of adventure.

As soon as victory is in reach, one act… one joke… one smart ass move…. puts the entire mission near the edge of failure. Tim has warned the team throughout the special that their actions are unrestricted and they will have consequences. Sean has no charges left on his Daggers of Corruption and cannot turn back time anymore. They will h...

It is time for another 4th of July special! Join our group on the continent next door called Demor Gaulando; a land that is not so different than where our main heroes dwell but is full of adventure.

Tim creates lore problems with the newest NPC who can see in the past, present and future at the same time. Joe goes murder hobo… again… and thanks to Sean the DM as a player, avoids consequences. More Morbius jokes are made despite them not being funny anymore at the time of recording while showing that most of the Wind...

It is time for another 4th of July special! Join our group on the continent next door called Demor Gaulando; a land that is not so different than where our main heroes dwell but is full of adventure.

After a good night’s sleep (and numerous derailments) and a quick retcon (don’t drink and DnD kids), the team meets with a familiar face…. the Goblin Master of Whispers, Smorgules Mulligan! Smorgules gives them info and a starting point. They will have to go around town and get info and items for their plan. Reginald also tries to wor...

It is time for another 4th of July special! Join our group on the continent next door called Demor Gaulando; a land that is not so different than where our main heroes dwell but is full of adventure.

A year has passed and our 4th of July heroes have moved on and lived their lives. They are unaware that political conflict is taking place in Ungland. King George (who is not-so-secretly a Ring-Wyrm fungal dragon) is in a civil war with Thunk the Chooozen over who is the true king of Ungland. MÜR’IKA has offered to...

Here’s another St Patty’s day! Or should I say happy St Hass-el-hoff day in this world! Join our group on the continent next door called Demor Gaulando; a land that is not so different than where our main heroes dwell but is full of adventure.

The final episode for this years special. The team expertly escape the bar and find themselves seeing a friendly face in the last bar: Madame BuK Kake! The madame that is a Kolasal-Born who owns a brothel and is in need of assistance from our heroes, especially from Urlok who need...

Here’s another St Patty’s day! Or should I say happy St Hass-el-hoff day in this world! Join our group on the continent next door called Demor Gaulando; a land that is not so different than where our main heroes dwell but is full of adventure.

The team escapes the inferno and ends up in a void. They will travel to two more bars this episode and meet characters that need a St Hass-el-hoff Day miracle! However the quest to follow the holy scrolls may be made more difficult as they encounter their worst enemy: Derailing! Also...

Here’s another St Pattys day! Or should I say happy St Hass-el-hoff day in this world! Join our group on the continent next door called Demor Gaulando; a land that is not so different than where our main heroes dwell but is full of adventure.

With another picknick in effect, the team sits down to enjoy the holiday while asking each other why they are not in a bar. With some new friends joining them and some old ones missing, they make the most of it. Given a surprise quest from some magic scrolls, they find th...

Its spooky time! We follow the Heroes of Pumpkin fest (aka Knights of the Indigo Rose) as they escort the noble lady from last year to a Pumpkinfest Party in the Court of Bets End. While they have to make a unexpected pit stop due to a sick horse, they get a chance to explore the nearby small town of Witchdun. What could go wrong? With their charming personalities, nothing can go wrong!

The final episode of the Halloween story before then next holiday special comes out! Our players are deep in it now! Tim...

Its spooky time! We follow the Heroes of Pumpkin fest (aka Knights of the Indigo Rose) as they escort the noble lady from last year to a Pumpkinfest Party in the Court of Bets End. While they have to make a unexpected pit stop due to a sick horse, they get a chance to explore the nearby small town of Witchdun. What could go wrong? With their charming personalities, nothing can go wrong!

Catching up with finishing the Halloween story before then next holiday special comes out! Our players fuck around and with buying some...

Its spooky time! We follow the Heroes of Pumpkin fest (aka Knights of the Indigo Rose) as they escort the noble lady from last year to a Pumpkinfest Party in the Court of Bets End. While they have to make a unexpected pit stop due to a sick horse, they get a chance to explore the nearby small town of Witchdun. What could go wrong? With their charming personalities, nothing can go wrong!

The Gallery of Non-Heroes:

Risssssssk Korth (Kumar) a lizardfolk that sees other races as meat played by Kumar,

Obsidian Mudclot...

Here’s another St Pattys day! Or should I say happy St Hass-el-hoff day in this world! Join a group on the continent next door called Demor Gaulando; a land that is not so different than where our main heroes dwell but is full of adventure.

With the morning after Joe completed his new fetish and joined in a night of passion with the brothel owner (yet again no one uses a ye old condom), the team makes way to the final murder. While talking about the clues they have found there are two courses of action. Wi...

Here’s another St Pattys day! Or should I say happy St Hass-el-hoff day in this world! Join a group on the continent next door called Demor Gaulando; a land that is not so different than where our main heroes dwell but is full of adventure.

Kumar decides that the best thing to do is escalate the controlled situation to an all out battle. Joe obliges and pushes the aggression up to 11. As a result, the team has to act quickly to fight a dangerous foe. After that they get some valuable intel that leads them out of...

Here’s another St Pattys day! Or should I say happy St Hass-el-hoff day in this world! Join a group on the continent next door called Demor Gaulando. A land that is not so different than where our heroes dwell but is still full of adventure.

Another day, another murder. Joe continues his side quest of being carried and the team argues with Kumar about his side quest of going to the bar. The list of suspects goes up as the team struggles to focus. With time running out, will they catch the killer before the parade?

This little minisode will show you who won, what happened to them, and give some very important information on the events in the world….

Thank you once again to Romancing the Dungeon for putting up with our craziness. It was a blast! And to all our listeners be sure to check them out as they finished their first season strong! And as always, look for the dead players in our graveyard on the website to honor them.

Team RTD: Aelar the Quiet (Declan), Brutus the Dog (Diarmuid), Skunk (Sam), Renna Fenvyre (Louise), Princess Pe...

Welcome to the small isle of Koro de Reĝo, a small but ancient island between Demor Gaulando (Tim’s side story continent) and Cepodoro (Sean’s main story continent). This island is very special as there are historical sites on it that could thrown into question the commonly held understandings of how people moved from content to content. Of course our players don’t care about that, they only care about getting a drink as they enter the bar from their last adventure. Little do they know know as they talk and introduce their characters to the fellow people...

Welcome to the small isle of Koro de Reĝo, a small but ancient island between Demor Gaulando (Tim’s side story continent) and Cepodoro (Sean’s main story continent). This island is very special as there are historical sites on it that could thrown into question the commonly held understandings of how people moved from content to content. Of course our players don’t care about that, they only care about getting a drink as they enter the bar from their last adventure. Little do they know know as they talk and introduce their characters to the fellow people...

Welcome to the small isle of Koro de Reĝo, a small but ancient island between Demor Gaulando (Tim’s side story continent) and Cepodoro (Sean’s main story continent). This island is very special as there are historical sites on it that could thrown into question the commonly held understandings of how people moved from content to content. Of course our players don’t care about that, they only care about getting a drink as they enter the bar from their last adventure. Little do they know know as they talk and introduce their characters to the fellow people...

Here’s another St Pattys day! Or should I say happy St Hass-el-hoff day in this world! Join a group on the continent next door called Demor Gaulando. A land that is not so different than where our heroes dwell but is still full of adventure. Tim continues to suggest a bad idea for a drinking game that I tell him is a bad idea. But this isn’t a normal adventure…. this is… a mystery! - Sean the DM.

The Gallery of Non Heroes:

Crunchy Do-Gooder who is a Human Fighter played by Kumar...

Welcome to the small isle of Koro de Reĝo, a small but ancient island between Demor Gaulando (Tim’s side story continent) and Cepodoro (Sean’s main story continent). This island is very special as there are historical sites on it that could thrown into question the commonly held understandings of how people moved from content to content. Of course our players don’t care about that, they only care about getting a drink as they enter the bar from their last adventure.

With both teams now in the pyramid. They look around and try to use the...

Welcome to the small isle of Koro de Reĝo, a small but ancient island between Demor Gaulando (Tim’s side story continent) and Cepodoro (Sean’s main story continent). This island is very special as there are historical sites on it that could thrown into question the commonly held understandings of how people moved from content to content. Of course our players don’t care about that, they only care about getting a drink as they enter the bar from their last adventure.

Minus the players talking about beer, energy drinks, and comfy pants, they finally get on...

Welcome to the small isle of Koro de Reĝo, a small but ancient island between Demor Gaulando (Tim’s side story continent) and Cepodoro (Sean’s main story continent). This island is very special as there are historical sites on it that could thrown into question the commonly held understandings of how people moved from content to content. Of course our players don’t care about that, they only care about getting a drink as they enter the bar from their last adventure. They are all members of the local D7 adventuring guild. (funny joke here) Little do they kn...

We continue to follow a group of new “heroes” in the sleepy little town of Jackport, that are not too far off from the city our main cast is currently destroying. We are introduced to Amanita Phalloide or Phallo for short, the Spore-cerer Human played by Tim! Joe takes up the mantel of the one eye, forehead horned, 8 foot tall Kolasal-Born known as Effington Titanus, the paladin of the god Spo Hol Le (that shouldn’t be a paladin, running theme?). Kumar takes the roll of Gneiss Schist, the hard drinking/hard fighting Dwarf Barbarian.

The team encoun...

Welcome to out first Xmas Holiday Special! With a quick fun drunken adventure we join Tim (as Fissma Hall the Teifling Monk), Kumar (as Flint Greencshist the Dwarf Ranger), with special guest starts Matt the Superfan (as Hermey Woolworth the Half-elf Sorcerer) and Kate(as Noir the Teifling Fighter) in a winter mission. Sean grabs a cup of eggnog while relaxing and plays a NPC for the players as Bill becomes the Guest DM. How will this turn out? It will take a lot of Christmas magic to keep everyone together in one piece! Sit back as we listen...

Welcome to out first Xmas Holiday Special! With a quick fun drunken adventure we join Tim (as Fissma Hall the Teifling Monk), Kumar (as Flint Greencshist the Dwarf Ranger), with special guest starts Matt the Superfan (as Hermey Woolworth the Half-elf Sorcerer) and Kate(as Noir the Teifling Fighter) in a winter mission. Sean grabs a cup of eggnog while relaxing and plays a NPC for the players as Bill becomes the Guest DM. How will this turn out? It will take a lot of Christmas magic to keep everyone together in one piece! Sit back as we listen...

Welcome to out first Xmas Holiday Special! With a quick fun drunken adventure we join Tim (as Fissma Hall the Teifling Monk), Kumar (as Flint Greencshist the Dwarf Ranger), with special guest starts Matt the Superfan (as Hermey Woolworth the Half-elf Sorcerer) and Kate(as Noir the Teifling Fighter) in a winter mission. Sean grabs a cup of eggnog while relaxing and plays a NPC for the players as Bill becomes the Guest DM. How will this turn out? It will take a lot of Christmas magic to keep everyone together in one piece! Sit back as we listen...

(Slight Issue with the upload, it is fixed now! if the last episode replays and it isnt new try redownloading it. So sorry!)

We continue to follow a group of new “heroes” in the sleepy little town of Jackport, that are not too far off from the city our main cast is currently destroying. We are introduced to Amanita Phalloide or Phallo for short, the Spore-cerer Human played by Tim! Joe takes up the mantel of the one eye, forehead horned, 8 foot tall Kolasal-Born known as Effington Titanus, the paladin of the god Spo Hol Le (that shou...

It still the time of the year that gets spooky! (Would be better if this was on time, sorry. Real life sucks a lot!) We follow the Heroes of Pumpkin fest: Risssssssk Korth (Kumar) a lizardfolk that sees other races as meat, Obsidian Mudclot (Joe) a dwarf with a clockwork shotgun who’s volume is turned up to 12, Shoal Lusteen (Tim) a Human who claims to follow some god called Bainé, and special guest star Jesus Gonzalez who plays the Sorcerer Ayges a custom race called the Kupra Soldato (artificial race made by humans in the great human civil war...

It still the time of the year that gets spooky! (Would be better if this was on time, sorry. Real life sucks a lot!) We follow the Heroes of Pumpkin fest: Risssssssk Korth (Kumar) a lizardfolk that sees other races as meat, Obsidian Mudclot (Joe) a dwarf with a clockwork shotgun who’s volume is turned up to 12, Shoal Lusteen (Tim) a Human who claims to follow some god called Bainé, and special guest star Jesus Gonzalez who plays the Sorcerer Ayges a custom race called the Kupra Soldato (artificial race made by humans in the great human civil war...

Its still the time of the year that gets spooky! (Would be better if this was on time, sorry. Real life sucks a lot!) We follow the Heroes of Pumpkin fest: Risssssssk Korth (Kumar) a lizardfolk that sees other races as meat, Obsidian Mudclot (Joe) a dwarf with a clockwork shotgun who’s volume is turned up to 12, Shoal Lusteen (Tim) a Human who claims to follow some god called Bainé, and special guest star Jesus Gonzalez who plays the Sorcerer Ayges a custom race called the Kupra Soldato (artificial race made by humans in the great human civil war...

Its the time of the year that gets spooky! (Would be better if this was on time, sorry. Real life sucks sometimes) We follow the Heroes of Pumpkin fest: Risssssssk Korth (Kumar) a lizardfolk that sees other races as meat, Obsidian Mudclot (Joe) a dwarf with a clockwork shotgun who’s volume is turned up to 12, Shoal Lusteen (Tim) a Human who claims to follow some god called Bainé, and special guest star Jesus Gonzalez who plays the Sorcerer Ayges a custom race called the Kupra Soldato (artificial race made by humans in the great human civil war) who is...

Welcome to the start of Season 2!

We encounter a group of new “heroes” in the sleepy little town of Jackport, that are not too far off from the city our main cast is currently destroying. We are introduced to Amanita Phalloide or Phallo for short, the Spore-cerer Human played by Tim! Joe takes up the mantel of the one eye, forehead horned, 8 foot tall Kolasal-Born known as Effington Titanus, the paladin of the god Spo Hol Le (that shouldn’t be a paladin, running theme?). Kumar takes the roll of Gneiss Schist, the hard drinking/hard fighting Dwarf...

Welcome to the end of Season 1…

The team gets an idea of the political situations of the world, but are too drunk (in RL) to put things together. They get a mission from the mayor and will hopefully take it. They try blow off 24 hours to get their upgraded weapons and the new special guns made from the dwarven blueprints. The blacksmith changes their name and styles to reflect his dragonborn background. Romances are started and continued. And the event that will shake the team to the core is right around the corner…..

Credits:

T...

The team continues to talk about weapon upgrades with the Rix the blacksmith and Tepid decides to trade the stolen dwarven gun plans in trade to get two of each of the guns made. The blacksmith also sells them bags of holding and Alli seriously wants one in real life. Tim is nice enough to give Kumar a letter opener that does 1d1 damage. Joe has a hard time understanding the concept of commissioning a weapon and gets mad when a legendary level weapon he wants made costs a lot of money. The DM warns the players not to...

We enter the final few hours of our heroe effort to save the MÜR’IKA town of Fancyfree. The heroes fight to regain the Heart of MÜR’IKA itself. Bucky works to get into the Unglish army to become a inside man. My character (Sean talking here) decides open heart surgery right before a major heist is a sound idea. After dealing with muting issues, the team get into Joe’s boat and ride to the Unglish’s main ship and plan out how to work the situation. With the plan in place, what could possibly go wrong? Sur...

Tim is continued to be punished by taking shots when he says bad things that Sean needs to edit.The Unnamed Solder and Si continue their day drinking and don’t rejoin the group. The Eggzile and Tepid don’t understand how to talk to people and cause tension between them and the Tieflings. However Betty Ray, the shopkeeps daughter, decides to show them where the blacksmith is so they can get their weapons. Here they meet Rix the Dragonborn who is both helpful and unusual. Tepid throws his money weight around once there.

Credits:

Than...

We continue as our heroes work in the MÜR’IKA town of Fancyfree. We learn the names of some of the Unglish guards and the team attempts to regroup with progress on their objectives. The strange man that picked up the old Hickery Pistols talks to the sheriff about a past character. They run into a familiar sounding goblin who is a plethora of information. The headache goes and gets explosives for the finale. Bucky talks with the lobster-backs and… well…. you will see…

Credits:

Thank you to Jesus Gonzalez and Jon for their great wor...

We start the next day in MÜR’IKA and the characters are free to do what they want. As in its time to build up a heist! But first as they figure out who to talk to its time for a classic MÜR’IKA style breakfast surely these assholes can’t mess this up!

Credits:

Thank you to Jesus Gonzalez and Jon for their great work!

Tim did the flute music for the intro. Its the national anthem but done as well as someone who hasn’t played in 14 years can do.

A small section of our drunken pizza break as the players get me so angry I stop everything to give them a recap of what they did. We thought it was fun so you might enjoy it.

Credits:

Thank you to Jesus Gonzalez and Jon for their great work!

Thank you to Freesound.org for SFX used under Creative Commons 0 license unless otherwise listed. Please support the posters there as they are doing this out of the kindness of their hearts.

And please visit us for updates and more at www...

Check out the Glitter Guild Burlesque's Internet Adventure! at https://www.eventbrite.com/e/108632003246?aff=efbneb for more info about the event! They are performing on July 30th @ 9:00 PM – 11:00 PM CDT! And it is online so you can drink as much as you want!

We talk about Julie’s absence from the podcast and how she is moving on to bigger and better things. We briefly talk about how finding someone for her slot might go (spoiler: we haven’t really looked at time of publishing this episode). Tim is punished by taking shots when he says bad th...

This is for music lover’s enjoyment! But you might want to be drunk for hearing this one!

We start off the podcast with Joe’s kid being cute and shit. Tim then reminds the group of what happened last year and goes on how King George the Ringwyrm from “Ungland” is trying to retake the young country of MÜR’IKA. The characters give updates to what they have been up to and they meet the cast of characters. What could go wrong? How will these assholes ruin Tim’s continent of Demor Gaulando? Or will they save it?

Credits:

Thank you to Jesus Gonzalez and Jon for their great work!

Tim did...

And we are back! Sorry for the delay but its been a tough month. We are back! In this new recording session the team talks about why they can’t remember anything. We start off with a intense game of jacks being played. Eggzile finally wakes up and gets mouthy with a fellow church goer. They remember that Souldrinker is in the hospital and kind of feel bad. They finally look around and notice that some caravans are opening to sell wears from minataurs and teiflings. Things do not go well. Seb wakes up from a night of passion wi...

The Eggzile (Joe) tries aquardly to get the attention of a fellow religious person who is praying at the same temple that he is. The stereptype that paladins have no game is examined in this encounter. He also does some extra praying to make sure that he is right with his god. Kamilla talks with the halfling woman some more after descovering her new ranger powers and makes it clear shes pissed about the rest of the team just leaving her in a strage bar in a strange city. She also tries to get more information about the disapearance...

We leave off Bill Clin-Ton (a past sentient weapon from the 2019 4th of July episode.) giving Bill some bad advice . And Joe learns nothing about eating random things as he gets saved by a magic flute. They wander into a near by bog and then one of them becomes a king… i guess? We will see how that plays out. Tim may need to be reminded of cannon status of this call as we were all drunk at this point. Then the team finds their target! THE MANATAUR! Half man/Half man! Will they survive the battle? Will they ge...

The Unnamed Solder (Kumar) finally sold that whisky but meets someone that stands against everything his tribe believes in. Kumar also forgets that I told him this recording the goal is to introduce their level up features. Like really Kumar, we had that talk the day before recording! Sorry, DM anger seeping through… but it all works out in the end as The Unnamed Solder proves to be a good person and might make some progress with the Elf Priestess Si. Vulture Team (Kyle, Jon, and Tim) walk towards the city and finally gets there. Once in the city th...

With the part of our St Hasselhoff day, join our team as they have now tied up one of the locals in their quest for the Manataur. They find a bunch of mushrooms and do the smart thing of eating them. Like… it is not even a spoiler, you know what we do at this point. Wyn (Bill) looks at a flute that is possibly magical and talks to his sentient saxophone named Bill Clin-Ton (a past sentient weapon from the 2019 4th of July episode.) .Then there are puppies! No really, puppies! And Joe learns a lesson about eating ra...

And we start another recording. We level up the characters and it turns into a thing especially because no one did the homework I asked. We recorded this in October so we say its the anniversary but… its not. Sean tries to get Kyle’s GF to talk in the background but she doesn’t join in out drunken shenanigans. Sean talks about the Golden/White dragon that will come and attack them if they don’t focus up, that is a call back to early dnd games before recording. After recapping with the players, Vulture Team (Kyle, Jon, and Tim...

So with the second part of our St Hasselhoff day, join our team as they are no longer in the continent of Demor Gaulando but a pocket dimension? Or it is just next to where they started, its kind of unclear. The group not only destroys the bathroom of the local bar but verbally harass the patrons there as well. They remind Kumar of bad things he has done in the main story (EP 33-34 in the future) and talk about what they have done in the last year since the last adventure. The blacksmith helps out the team...

Here’s another St Pattys day! Or should I say happy St Hasselhoff day in this world! Join a group on the continent next door called Demor Gaulando. A land that is not so different than where our heroes dwell but is still full of adventure. Tim talks about how much he likes Bill’s character and they are introduced to a old foe on their annual picnicking adventure with a deal for the new set of adventures. Tim suggests a bad idea for a drinking game as a loyal and beloved friend gets captured. The cost of getting him...

Using a combination of Tepid’s natural Gnomish minor illusion and Camilla’s natural Teifling thermatology, they team up to try to interrogate the last surviving captured gnome into explaining why there are gnome special ops in a human area. Seb and Eggzile eventually team up for some interrogation in their own style with Joe as a player realizing he has been limiting his own power. The team talks about the plan of what to do with the ill Admiral Souldrinker until the talk about the buried loot comes up. Of course the team decides to split the party…. WHY WO...

With the last mission in sight, the group runs into an old enemy. Tim raises Sean’s blood pressure once again with showing off his Photoshop skills. After Tim talks some stupid shit they get introduced to Sunflower Whisky, who is the captain’s gf… we guess? I mean that captian should have said her name earlier. The leader attacks and the team quickly acts! The team also talks about possibly stealing the captains woman from him as he has done jack shit to save her. Bibbity even makes some friends! The exciting conclusion to the Valentines Day Special is now...

The battle with the sirens comes to an end. Kyle leaves because he has adult things to do and can’t stay out all night due to work. DragonJoe beats the shit out of the crew because it reminds us of another character of Tim’s. Tim decides to be a cheeky bastard on the tart island. Bibitty mocks the captain who is not very observant while Dij-jal learns an effective way to deal with Bibitty’s sexist nature. And Crunchy Do-Gooder learns how to hotbox in clockwork underwater while they get attacked by deadly Sea-Rexes (it is what you th...

We start another adventure run by Tim in the content to the east of our main story! We get introduced to characters in this exciting adventure including Crunchy Do-Gooder who is a Human Fighter played by Kumar (Hope you didn’t strain yourself thinking up that combo Kumar! - Sean the DM) , Bibitty Bumble the Gnomish Fighter/Warlock played by Sean (Stealing Kyle’s patron Mot the Infected Calf, he is not happy about that but I don’t care. I am now the first multi-class character!), Dragon-Joe Barb-cock Dragonborn Barbarian (this name is literal) , Daj-jal the Half-orc Rouge (our fi...

So…. there are a few things going on this episode… this gets dark… like super dark. Like these players are fucked up dark! So I guess regular players but people new to dnd wont know that. Think a mix of Reservoir Dogs and Inglorious Bastards all in one. Kamilla also is keeping an eye out while team tourtu…. I mean interrogates the prisoners. Tim pisses off the DM Sean in a very familiar way. … And I also do a great DM kindness to the players…. i mean i could have been a real dick here but I was fair. I hope they...

Seb gets a sniper hit right off the bat and Sean the DM must explain a rule of permadeath. (If you drop into negative health the total of your max HP, you’re making a new character. Wait…. are those 5E rules or am I stealing them from another edition or game? Doesn’t matter, its in our world now because we like it. And I am not even sure these guys know there are resurrection options but I am sure they will figure it out at some point.) Seriously, Joe is really upset that specific character from the 4th of...

The team runs from Whisky Row. They talk about the Red Oaks and how Tepid’s vision means they must stop them at all costs. While walking The Eggzile makes a choice that alters the course of the rest of his life and possibly afterlife. Admiral Souldrinker takes a little nap and the rest of the team must just to action! But who are theses people that seem to have amazing aim? I’m not telling!

- Sean the DM.

Credits:

Thank you to Jesus Gonzalez and Jon for their great work!

M...

Tepid gets a vision of great evil in the land as he tries to convinces everyone of the vision he had. Seb and Carolus jump into action to save the day! Unnamed (aka blankie) gets bored and wonders off to get a job as well as Kamilla looking for drugs. Eggzile starts some shit with some orcs and Tepid turns into an octopus.... again. I mean…. this town was supposed to last 20 minutes…. these assholes ignore major characters, plot points, and important items but hey…. lets spend 3 episodes in a town of 7 people! I’m sorry. I am tired. I should...

Our characters wonder around whisky row becoming friends with the local sheriff. With Seb, Carolus, and Unnamed (aka Blankie) walking into the bar they quickly make life long friendships with the locals and even get a job! Kamilla and Eggzile look for local supplies. And for some reason we have Tepid standing around in a trance. The team now splits into 4 different scenes…. so that is always fun for a DM! As they talk to the locals they start to learn more as a dark feeling of chaos starts to fill the air of the streets.

Credits:

Just a quick late night minisode between wrapping presents.

Credits:

Thank you to Jesus Gonzalez and Jon for their great work!

Thank you to Freesound.org for SFX used under Creative Commons 0 license unless otherwise listed. Please support the posters there as they are doing this out of the kindness of their hearts.

And please visit us for updates and more at www.dcuhshow.com and look us up on facebook because we are lonely and need friends!

Twitter:

@DcuHshow

#DCUH

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We follow our “heroes” after the aftermath of escaping from the city. We learn about the quest one of the charters needs to undertake due to their patron while they squabble over breakfast. Our players level up and increase their health. During this Joe looks ahead and asks if the paladin level up ability to grow wings will cause him to grow two more (it does) while making a reference about a very local commercial no one will know outside of the Chicago-land area. Tim also makes questionable choices for perception. (Seriously, anyone that does fan art, I will put...

We continue our main charters: Risssssssk Korth (Kumar) a lizardfolk custom race that sees other races as meat, Obsidian Mudclot (Joe) a dwarf with a clockwork shotgun who’s volume is turned up to 12, Shoal Lusteen (Tim) a Human who claims to follow some god called Bainé, and special guest star Jesus Gonzalez who plays the Sorcerer Ayges a custom race called the Kupra Soldato (artificial race made by humans in the great human civil war) who is a necromancer that is not picky about using his powers in public. They continue to explore the Pumpkin Fest fairgrounds, Tim in...

We get introduced to our main charters: Risssssssk Korth (Kumar) a lizardfolk custom race that sees other races as meat, Obsidian Mudclot (Joe) a dwarf with a clockwork shotgun who’s volume is turned up to 12, Shoal Lusteen (Tim) a Human who claims to follow some god called Bainé, and special guest star Jesus Gonzalez who plays the Sorcerer Ayges a custom race called the Kupra Soldato (artificial race made by humans in the great human civil war) who is a necromancer that is not picky about using his powers in public. As they all go to sleep we are...

Our main characters get the hell out of the area around the prison as quickly as they can. Now they must make camp and rest in order to recover from that horrible battle that was beyond pointless. I hope you guys all enjoyed it because from a DM perspective it was like I was Tepid running into a prison wall again and again. Will the teams be able to start to gel and form one team? Will Tepid continue to fuck up the Unnamed Solder’s chances with Si? Will they learn to work together? Find out! At least th...

The Red Oaks left the battle field. The MoaKato father has saved from death. What are our “heroes” still doing outside the prison battling? It is like they don’t pick up on cues or something. The unnamed solder waits for his reward as he cleans his weapon. Seb is reminded he cant smell gold. And Kamila kills a man. Julie is not here but everyone is reminded she is a force to be reckoned with as she deals with adult things. Our teams debate if they should leave or not as the battle continues doing stupid shit. Also Darkne...

And we are back to the main story! We leave off after the stabbing of the Moakato father in front of his daughters and the reaction to the Red Oak army, a group of racist elves that even other elves hate. Joe forgets what a centaur is while Sean continues to take over for Julie’s character while away since she has a life and adult responsibilities. Tim keeps trying to take over her voice acting much to Sean’s irritation. Kyle needs to be retaught his warlock ability…. again. Si and The Unnamed Solder have a slight reunion and we...

Specific to Tim’s content but may show up on others, the Kolasal-Born and Gnobgoblins.

"Moonlight Hall" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/.

Please visit us for updates and more at www.dcuhshow.com and look us up on facebook because we are lonely and need friends!

Twitter:

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After Joe’s character yells duel against Ben Franklin, shit gets real. While Ben Franklin gets tired of the patriots shit (Aka, Tim, the DM gets tired of our shit) an epic final battle happens with some lasting consequences. This… this episode wasn’t even supported to happen. This was basically us trolling Tim. Tim never saw this coming. Who is the real monster here? The players were the monsters. Who will win? Will Ben Franklin defeat the patriots after they betray him? Will they survive? Listen in to the final episode of the 4th of July special to find o...

The battle with the Gremlins (Brevlins? Grevlins? they have multiple names…) ends. Are they close to their goal of freeing this country? Will Mr. Marsten’s “Duel!” ability be used for the last time this episode? What of their loyal ally who will surly be by their side for multiple adventures? You know by now the answers already to this blurbs but im asking them anyway!

Credits:

Thank you to Jesus Gonzalez and Jon for their great work!

Tim picked up the flute to play the anthem for the podcast… it did not go well…<...

This is for music lover’s enjoyment! But you might want to be drunk for hearing this one!

Our patriots discover multiple ways to solve the problem with their loyal ally telling them to go a way filled with food and riches. The dreaded lobster backs roam the area and keep our patriots at bay. Are they close to their goal of freeing this country? Also listen closely… you may here us asking Kumar to pass the sake.

Credits:

Thank you to Jesus Gonzalez and Jon for their great work!

Tim picked up the flute to play the anthem for the podcast… it did not go well…

Credit Music: "Freaky...

Our patriots ready themselves for the coming threat but one of our heroes becomes in dire need of medical attention. They gain a new ally in the fight that seems trustworthy.

Credits:

Thank you to Jesus Gonzalez and Jon for their great work!

Tim picked up the flute to play the anthem for the podcast… it did not go well…

Credit Music: "Freaky Theme_longer" Used with permission By Jesus Gonzalez Site: theweatherdespots.wordpress.com

Thank you to Freesound.org for SFX used under Creative Commons 0 license unless otherwise list...

Happy 4th of July! This was a long one so we broke it up into several parts. Here is part 1

Credits:

Thank you to Jesus Gonzalez and Jon for their great work!

Main Theme "Dumb Idea No 1 - No Glitter" Used with permission By Jesus Gonzalez Site: theweatherdespots.wordpress.com

Credit Music: "Freaky Theme_longer" Used with permission By Jesus Gonzalez Site: theweatherdespots.wordpress.com

Thank you to Freesound.org for SFX used under Creative Commons 0 license unless otherwise listed. Please support the posters there as they are doing...

The battle…. continues….. The Red Oaks succeed in freeing their jailed Boss Billis and the guards are acting all jock like and being tough guys and gals. The family of Maokatos are still stuck in the middle of it all with the youngest daughter choosing right now to jump out to fix the wheel. Julie also is MIA in real life and Sean takes over her character with plenty of comments from the drunken players . Just remember the chant “Rosé all day!” as Alli reminds the DM Sean to bring wine to the next recording. Also for the record, the next...

The battle begins! The magical shield is down trapping everyone inside. The Red Oaks are trying to free the jailed elf Billis (who I am sure will be important later, or maybe not, who knows) and the guards are getting ready to stop them! Unfortunately a family of Maokatos are stuck in the middle of it all. What will the group do? Tune in to find out how this chaos plays out! I am sure no one will do anything useless in this tense time! Also no one noticed the goblin in the jail went missing during the fight...

This is still it! God these guys take forever to get to one spot. We catch up the flagship three on what they forgot they did before they got here, a familiar group of Moakato need help, and jail has clearly made these guys a little crazy.

Thank you to Alex, Julie’s soon to be husband for yelling about his new business in the world “Hot Denver Subs.”

.--

Credits:

Thank you to Jesus Gonzalez and Jon for their great work!

Main Theme "Dumb Idea No 1 - No Glitte...

This is it! The Flag Ship Three, the Drifters, and the detectives are all in one room! Join us as the DM loses his mind as he tries to heard cats and get them to meet in the story. This is bigger than GOT! Bigger than End Game! Bigger than something else that is going to be dated any other time than when this was written! We got action! We got dick jokes! And we have a pointless rambling about pizza!

Special thank you to Bekka to letting us know where the pizza is and thank you...

In this episode, the Eggzile looks for the thief, Tepid the Pond lays there dying from a gunshot wound, and the unnamed solder just goes around trying to make a buck off sick people. I mean, its the perfect end to the last solo episode before everyone meets.

.-..

Credits:

Thank you to Jesus Gonzalez and Jon for their great work!

Main Theme "Dumb Idea No 1 - No Glitter" Used with permission By Jesus Gonzalez Site: theweatherdespots.wordpress.com

Credit Music: "Freaky Theme_longer" Used with permission By Jesus...

In this exciting episode, our flagship 3 split up (always a good idea) securing the deck of the ship, finding the halfling bartender (the bad one) and making him pay, and to find the stolen treasure of the spirit of nature. Will the team use their skills to effectively solve their problems and help the crew? Will the baby bugbear become a fast friend of tepid?

..

Credits:

Thank you to Jesus Gonzalez and Jon for their great work!

Main Theme "Dumb Idea No 1 - No Glitter" Used with permission By Jesus Gonzalez...

Heres a little thing to sober up to. Happy St Pattys day! Or should I say happy St Hasselhoff day in this world! Join a group on the continent next door called Demor Gaulando. A land that is not so different than where our heroes dwell but is still full of adventure. Join us for the second part of the holiday special that have many fun surprises, a guest star, and a load of booze that is fitting for the day!

Credits:

Thank you to Jesus Gonzalez and Jon for their great work!

...

Heres a little thing to sober up to. Happy St Pattys day! Or should I say happy St Hasselhoff day in this world! Join a group on the continent next door called Demor Gaulando. A land that is not so different than where our heroes dwell but is still full of adventure. Join us for a two part holiday special that have many fun surprises, a guest star, and a load of booze that is fitting for the day!

Credits:

Thank you to Jesus Gonzalez and Jon for their great work!

Main Theme "...

Two grown adults sit at a bar and talk about telling stories all the time, right? Yeah. Nothing weird about that. Sure there is nothing weird going on….

…

Credits:

Thank you to Freesound.org for SFX used under Creative Commons 0 license unless otherwise listed. Please support the posters there as they are doing this out of the kindness of their hearts.

And please visit us for updates and more at www.dcuhshow.com and look us up on facebook because we are lonely and need friends!

Twitter:

@DcuH...

So we are back on the ship and there is a lot to discover! What of this strange baby bugbear? Who is the backup bartender? and why does the crew hate the team so much? Find out in a very special episode as our heroes show how they can take care of a small baby.

…

Credits:

Thank you to Jesus Gonzalez and Jon for their great work!

Main Theme "Dumb Idea No 1 - No Glitter" Used with permission By Jesus Gonzalez Site: theweatherdespots.wordpress.com

Credit Music: "Freaky Theme_lo...

The detectives of Bulky and Kamila are now hot on the trail of the target… except they don’t have a name, motive, or really anything. Will they find it this episode? They also discover the joy’s that drinking Orange Wine at 30% alcohol can do and learn the proper manners of using drugs in a dive bar.

.-

Credits:

Thank you to Jesus Gonzalez and Jon for their great work!

Main Theme "Dumb Idea No 1 - No Glitter" Used with permission By Jesus Gonzalez Site: theweatherdespots.wordpress.com

Credit...

As we join a new set of adventures, the detectives Julie and Alli, that will most likely meet up with everyone else, we see what happens when your significant other is in the back ground reading and what happens when your hungry and start talking about subs. Also they try to find a bar so that is fun.

Also Jon is doing something really cool, check it out at theartistjonbrown.com or at facebook.com/theartistjonbrown

.-..

Credits:

Thank you to Jesus Gonzalez and Jon for their great work!

...

So…. Kyle and Jon did some things…. Sell some spices…. Destroyed a body…. and thought that casting darkness was a good idea. I mean, they just royally fuck up. Is there any hope? Find out this episode if they survive their bad decisions. It is almost like booze makes people make bad choices.

Also Jon is doing something really cool, check it out at theartistjonbrown.com or at facebook.com/theartistjonbrown

...-

Credits:

Thank you to Jesus Gonzalez and Jon for their great work!

Main Theme "Dumb Idea No 1 - No Gli...

A dark elf and a cat person walk into a bar… sounds like the start to a bad joke but there is nothing funny about what these two have planned. We explore more about this strange bar as well as if dwarves and other races have poop pipes in this world.

Also Jon is doing something really cool, check it out at theartistjonbrown.com or at facebook.com/theartistjonbrown

..-

Credits:

Thank you to Jesus Gonzalez and Jon for their great work!

Main Theme "Dumb Idea No 1 - No Gl...

As we wrap up another year and hope that the next one is better than the latest dumpster fire of a year we powered through, the Windy City Dice Boyz want to thank everyone that helped over the last year as well as all you fans who listened to us. Also there is a Town Crier that is running around shouting news that may somehow play into next year, but idk, why would anyone foreshadow something like that?

...

Credits:

Thank you to Jesus Gonzalez and Jon for their great work!

Main...

As we begin the next part of the story, we follow a pair of drifters traveling with some salted meat sellers and introduce Jon and Kyle’s characters to the mix. Will they be noble paladins? Will they be charitable rouges? Or will they be yet another group of drunks that cause issues? I think you know the answer by this point.

Also Jon is doing something really cool, check it out at theartistjonbrown.com or at facebook.com/theartistjonbrown

-.-.

Credits:

Thank you to Jesus Gonzalez and Jon for th...

Our lovable asshats go and speak with the captain of the ship. They also hear strange sounds at night and must make choices that may just save everyone on board.

Also Jon is doing something really cool, check it out at theartistjonbrown.com or at facebook.com/theartistjonbrown

Credits:

Thank you to Jesus Gonzalez and Jon for their great work!

If you want to use the monster used in this episode and use it more effectively than we did, go to https://www.reddit.com/r/monsteraday/comments/3t1u2d...

Sorry for the delay, Thanksgiving is a hard time to edit audio. - Sean

The "flagship three" interact more with the passengers and learn of a great evil in the world. They also talk to a priestess that Tepid takes a shining too and Unnamed makes a new ally. The Eggzile just frightens a small halfling.

Credits:

Thank you to Jesus Gonzalez and Jon who I still need to pay….

Main Theme "Dumb Idea No 1 - No Glitter" Used with permission By Jesus Gonzalez Site: theweatherdespots.wordpress.com

Credit Mu...

Our three “heroes” are faffing about when they meet the crew and start to interact with people on the ship. And there is a very bro moment.

Credits:

Thank you to Jesus Gonzalez and Jon who I still need to pay….

Main Theme "Dumb Idea No 1 - No Glitter" Used with permission By Jesus Gonzalez Site: theweatherdespots.wordpress.com

Credit Music: "Freaky Theme_longer" Used with permission By Jesus Gonzalez Site: theweatherdespots.wordpress.com

"Angevin" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licens...

Credits:

Thank you to Jesus Gonzalez and Jon who I still need to pay….

Main Theme "Dumb Idea No 1 - No Glitter" Used with permission By Jesus Gonzalez Site: theweatherdespots.wordpress.com

Credit Music: "Freaky Theme_longer" Used with permission By Jesus Gonzalez Site: theweatherdespots.wordpress.com

Thank you to Freesound.org for SFX used under Creative Commons 0 license unless otherwise listed. Please support the posters there as they are doing this out of the kindness of thier hearts.

And please visit us for updates and more at www.dc...

Credits:

Thank you to Kevin MacLeod who is truly doing the lords work with making royalty free music! And thank you to Jesus Gonzalez who I still need to pay….

"Clash Defiant" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/.

Main Theme "Dumb Idea No 1 - No Glitter" Used with permission By Jesus Gonzalez Site: theweatherdespots.wordpress.com

Visit us at: www.dcuhshow.com

Credits:

Sexy ass voice work: Alex who did an amazing job

"Our Story Begins" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/.

Main Theme "Dumb Idea No 1 - No Glitter" Used with permission By Jesus Site: theweatherdespots.wordpress.com

Visit us at: www.dcuhshow.com