The Cavalry

Andrew needs backup that the new TSA basket system isn't faster. Johnny needs backup that there should be fact checking during bio-pics so you know what really happened. 

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Andrew needs backup that if as a business if you don't accept cash you can't then charge to take credit cards. Johnny needs backup that you don't have to tip at an all inclusive resort. 

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It's our first live episode! Enjoy as we try to backup the Wisconsin crowd as they submitted their topics before the show. If you're looking for more traditional Cavalry content, make sure you're subscribed to the Patreon for our extended post-show banter. 

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Johnny needs backup that they should just eliminate the least popular flavors in the variety pack. Andrew needs backup that leaning against the wall when you're doing standup comedy is arrogant and stupid. Enjoy!

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Andrew needs backup that asking "What do you do there?" in response to a vacation destination is a dumb question. Johnny needs backup that he would fight mugger before giving them anything. 

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Andrew needs backup that DJ's are great and we need more of them! Johnny needs backup that if you order takeout and they forget an item you should be owed a sexual favor. Enjoy! 

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Andrew needs backup that there all single-occupancy restrooms should be genderless. Johnny needs backup that no one needs to send voice memos you can just text. Enjoy! 

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Andrew needs backup that using AI to plan your vacations is stupid. Johnny needs backup that Valentines Day is stupid. Enjoy! 

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Andrew needs backup on being able to sign a waiver to forgo his medical privacy so he can just get an email from his doctor. Johnny needs backup that he would always rather watch a movie than a show, again. 

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Andrew needs backup that if you're really rich you should just tip everyone for everything all the time. Johnny needs backup that Halloween should always be the last Saturday of October. 

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Andrew needs backup that people who try to give you perspective when you're going through a hard time aren't as helpful as they think they are. Johnny needs backup that sports movies are better than sports themselves. Enjoy! 

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Andrew needs backup that streamers don't need to tease that they've got old movies they just acquired the rights to "coming soon". Johnny needs backup that it's ok to lock your bedroom door to keep your kids out of your room at night. Enjoy! 

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Johnny needs backup that airlines should ask for your height and weight in order to seat the plane equitably. Andrew needs backup that if you ask for a prescription for a Covid vaccine they should just give it to you. 

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Johnny needs backup that all memes should only be used with attribution to the original author. Andrew needs backup that taking pride in your generation's accomplishments is dumb. Enjoy!

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Andrew needs backup that waiting in a long line for gas isn't worth whatever you're saving. Johnny needs backup that the Got Jesus campaign is a lazy ripoff of Got Milk and any Got whatever campaign should be banned. Enjoy! 

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Johnny needs backup that if someone opens the door for you twice in successive fashion that only one thank you is required. Andrew needs backup that stay-at-home mom influencers are by definition not stay-at-home moms. Enjoy!

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Johnny needs backup on it being socially acceptable to buy a cake for individual consumption. Andrew needs backup that Portland has taken it too far with the pollinator gardens and has created emboldened bees. Enjoy! 

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Johnny needs backup that parents shouldn't force there little kids to wear "funny" T-shirts. Andrew needs backup that if the bathroom requires a code to get in, it should be cleaner than the average public bathroom. Enjoy!

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Johnny needs backup that the public deserves to know the details in all celebrity deaths. Andrew needs backup because Heidi forgot which date was his birthday and had the audacity to ask him. Subscribe to the Patreon!!!

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Johnny needs backup that no one should get to brag about running a half-marathon. Andrew needs backup that if you're going to dedicate a bench to someone on a hike make sure you do it at the top of the the hill. Enjoy!

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We discuss a Cavalry power move used in the wild by a loyal listener! Then Andrew needs backup on companies awarding rewards points for basic decency. Johnny needs backup that when women moon someone it's not really a prank. Enjoy! 

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It's episode 272 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that money does in fact buy happiness. Andrew needs backup that you can't bring McDonalds into the airport lounge. Enjoy!

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Johnny needs backup that waiters shouldn't sit down at the table with you when they're taking your order. Andrew needs backup that only married years count towards an anniversary, and you can't keep counting if your spouse died. Enjoy! 

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Johnny gives a wallpaper disaster update and Andrew's gonna try and install a new dishwasher top rack. Johnny needs backup wondering why no matter what he eats his poops are always roughly the same. Andrew needs backup that we should eliminate inflight announcements. Enjoy! 

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Johnny needs backup that concerts should start on time. Andrew needs backup that constellations are a scam. Johnny gives an appliance update which includes a repairman blowdrying his refrigerator and Andrew learns the difference between Brian and Ryan Adams. Enjoy!

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On episode 268 of The Cavalry Andrew needs backup that people who say they're not into politics need to pick a side. Johnny needs backup that you shouldn't be allowed to save seats. 

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Andrew needs backup that gum sucks. Johnny needs backup that claw machines should be illegal. They talk about Father's Day plans and just how Andy Dufrane got that hiding spot in the Bible for his rock hammer cut so perfectly. Enjoy! 

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Johnny needs backup that all children's birthday parties should be drop off! Andrew needs backup that fish and chips are overrated. Enjoy! 

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It's episode 265 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that if you've ever changed your mind on Trump, in either direction, then you have no soul. Johnny needs backup that comedy competitions should go extinct. Enjoy! 

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It's episode 264 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that if Chick-fil-a is going to be at the airport, they have to be open on Sundays. Johnny needs backup that to comment on Youtube videos you must have posted at least one Youtube video. Enjoy!

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It's episode 263 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that we should embrace the positives of everyone getting dumber. Johnny needs backup that the ads for bidets are a misrepresentation. Enjoy! 

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It's episode 262 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that you shouldn't be able to delete direct messages. Johnny needs backup that when you get pulled over, they should let you know whether or not you're getting the ticket before they leave to go back to their car. 

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It's Episode 161 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that there should be a federal minimum on offers airlines make to you to reschedule your ticket. Johnny needs backup that wallpaper sucks. Enjoy! 

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It's Episode 260 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that you shouldn't have to freeze your credit, the default should be frozen. Johnny needs backup that if a insurance company decides not to pay out your policy, they should have to give back the premiums you paid in. Enjoy! 

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It's epsisode 259 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that we should get rid of any forced pleasantries from fast food or convenience store employees. Andrew needs backup that joggers shouldn't jog in the street. Enjoy! 

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It's episode 258 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup on showing time codes for reality shows. Andrew needs backup that saying spinach is triple washed has the opposite of the intended effect. Enjoy! 

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It's Episode 257 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup on the Dyson Vacuum being far and away the greatest vacuum of all time. Andrew needs backup on the key to parenting being the first one in the morning to say you didn't sleep great last night. Enjoy! 

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It's episode 256 of The Cavalry! First, long-time Cavalry fan Kyle McClure needs backup that music conductors are pointless. Andrew needs backup that non-screen time parents are the hardest working parents in the history of modern civilization. Johnny needs backup that theaters should stop showing anniversary re-releases of movies and just do new movies. Enjoy!

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It's episode 255 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that Shamrock Shakes are gross. Andrew needs backup that wiping your kids nose that last time before dropping them off at preschool isn't going to make a difference. Enjoy! 

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It's episode 254 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that girl scout cookies are terrible. Johnny needs backup that if you're the one that leaves someone at the altar, you need to explain to the audience the wedding isn't happening. 

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It's episode 253 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup on Dairy Queens needing to move into cities. Johnny needs backup on relying on big hotel chains for a Mexican vacation. Enjoy and remember to subscribe to the Patreon for post-show banter! 

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It's episode 252 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that there should be weather-tiered drivers licenses. Andrew needs backup that he needs a hobby. Remember to subscribe to the Patreon for post-show banter! We're only one subscriber away from profitability!

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It's episode 251 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup on returning Amazon packages for his wife. Andrew needs backup that ads should quit showing themselves to you once you've bought the product. Remember to subscribe to the Patreon for post-show banter! 

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It's episode 250 of The Cavalry! Previous guest and friend of the show Brandt Tobler pinch hits for Johnny as co-host and needs backup that his plan to never pay taxes is win/win. Johnny magically appears for post-show banter so join the Patreon to get your Beehner fix! 

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It's episode 249 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup on the Grammy's being the best awards show. Johnny needs backup that there should be a draft to decide who's the President of the United States. Enjoy! 

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It's episode 248 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that living forever is overrated. Johnny needs backup that minivans have gotten a bad rap. Remember to subscribe to the Patreon for post-show banter! 

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It's episode 247 of The Cavalry! First Andrew needs backup that all movies in theaters should have an intermission. Then he pivots at the end to Reddit is the only fun social media site left. Johnny needs backup that Chicago drivers are the worst drivers. Remember to subscribe to the Patreon for post-show banter! 

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It's episode 246 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that thermometers should just be for babies and scientists. Andrew needs backup that vending machines should be just for soda and candy. Subscribe to the Patreon for post-show banter!

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It's episode 245 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that no one needs a private Instagram page. Johnny needs backup that having your birthday around Christmas isn't actually bad. Remember to join the Patreon for post-show banter! 

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It's episode 244 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that hotel points should work the same as airline miles where only the person staying there can get the credit. Johnny needs backup that when athletes give away autographed jerseys after games they should use a T-shirt cannon to get them up to the cheap seats instead of giving them to rich kids. Enjoy! 

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It's episode 243 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that couches should come put together. Andrew needs backup that all preschools need bidets. Enjoy! Remember to subscribe to the Patreon for post-show banter. 

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It's episode 242 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that you should be able to declare gambling losses on your taxes (turns out it might be that you already can). Andrew needs backup that that "treating the symptom, not the disease" is actually just fine. 

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It's episode 241 of The Cavalry! Due to scheduling problems the great Jason Russell pinch-hits for Andrew. Jason needs backup that he likes women who are hairy and have scars. Enjoy! 

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It's episode 240 of The Cavalry! An update to Johnny's new dog! Then Johnny needs backup that companies have gone too far in warning us about ingesting plastic. Andrew needs backup that if you subscribe to a cable or streaming service it should work anywhere you can get online, not just in your hometown. Enjoy!

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It's episode 239 of The Cavalry! The Beehner's get a new dog! Andrew's back on the ship. Johnny needs backup on letting society crumble. Andrew needs backup that only true degenerates know what's going on with slot machines. Remember to subscribe to the Patreon for post-show banter! 

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It's episode 238 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that the year the movie You've Got Mail came out was the apex of technology being good. Andrew needs backup that emergency vehicles need to either use the siren fully or not at all. Enjoy! 

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It's episode 237 of The Cavalry! It's a class warfare episode as Andrew needs backup that in exchange for publicly financed stadiums, billionaire sports team owners should have to be filmed for 24-hours following a loss. Johnny needs backup that no one is allowed to have a billion dollars. 

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It's episode 236 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that political candidates aren't allowed to advertise. Andrew needs backup that rocking chairs aren't relaxing and if anything require the most work of any chair. Enjoy! 

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It's episode 235 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that we need a new Zulu alphabet. Johnny needs backup on not washing clothes new clothes you just bought before wearing them. Enjoy! 

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It's episode 234 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that friends shouldn't tell friends they love them if they know it's going to make them uncomfortable. Andrew needs backup that if you get more than 50 percent of your screen time from Youtube it makes you weird. Enjoy!

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It's episode 233 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that Ben and Jerry's should give you the peanut butter cups separate from the ice cream so you can mix them in yourself and they're not frozen. Andrew needs backup that the movie business should embrace "shorts" and make them marketable with big stars. Enjoy! 

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It's episode 232 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that if you have a guest you should provide a brand new bar of soap. Andrew needs backup that scams should be trying harder. Enjoy! 

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It's episode 213 of The Cavalry! This week Andrew needs backup that "all you can eat" specials that aren't buffets are a scam. Johnny needs backup that if you expose a food to the world as being unhealthy you must also provide an equally delicious alternative. Enjoy! 

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It's episode 230 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that there should be concerts and events where rich people are explicitly excluded. Andrew needs backup that doctors were faking it up until a 100 years ago. Enjoy! 

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It's episode 229 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that we don't need signs to tell us bees are pollinating. Johnny needs backup that it's ok not to wash your legs in the shower, even though he does. Enjoy! 

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It's episode 228 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that the Apple mouse shouldn't have it's charging port underneath it. Andrew needs backup that football teams should only have one captain. Enjoy!

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It's episode 227 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup on Europe needing to decide on do they want American tourists or don't they. Johnny needs backup on the futility of "don't let your dog poop or pee here" signs. Enjoy! 

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It's episode 226 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that golf balls should be bigger. Andrew needs backup that Chinese food restaurants should be forced to switch to soda fountains like the rest of the world. Enjoy! 

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It's episode 225 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that you should never turn your location tracker on. Johnny needs backup that you don't need the Sani-seat in public restrooms. Subscribe to the Patreon for post-show banter!

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It's episode 224 of The Cavalry and Jason Russell is back! He needs backup on a Salma Hayek fantasy and defends himself from several of Johnny's previous topics. Enjoy! 

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It's episode 223 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that if a Sirius radio channel is dedicated to an artist it should only play songs by that artist. Andrew needs backup that our country is too reliant on charity. Enjoy! 

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It's episode 222 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that we should do away with all polling and just be surprised on election day. Andrew needs backup that the phrase "calorie deficit" needs to be retired because it's useless. Enjoy!

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It's episode 221 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that movie theaters should list the actual start times of movies. Andrew needs backup that if your way to handle the stress of being on trial for murder is to work out then you're guilty. Enjoy!

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It's episode 220 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that they're never going to enforce a fireworks ban and people should get over it. Johnny needs backup that being tall is a disability. Remember to subscribe to the Patreon for post-show banter... Enjoy! 

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It's Episode 219 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup on not wanting to go to potlucks. Andrew needs backup that the people who "rep" their city the hardest never tend to live in that city. Enjoy! 

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It's episode 218 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that if you get a parking ticket they should deduct parking fees you've already paid from the ticket. Andrew needs backup that when there's a long line, only one member of your party should be waiting in it. Enjoy!

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It's episode 217 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that it shouldn't matter if you book directly with a company or through a third party. Johnny needs backup that foul balls should only count as half a strike. Remember to subscribe to the Patreon for post show banter. 

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It's episode 216 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that every standing ovation had something at least slightly hacky that led to it. Johnny needs backup that you should never have to save seats for people. Enjoy! 

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It's episode 215 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup on not being mad at someone for farting unless it smells like eggs. Andrew needs backup that the government should forgive your student loans if you can prove you're not using your degree in any way. Enjoy!

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It's episode 214 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup on eliminating get to know you games in adult life. Andrew needs backup on not bagging your own groceries at fancy grocery stores. Remember to join the Patreon for post-show banter! 

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It's episode 213 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that every domicile should have a spare bathroom, even if it's an outhouse. Andrew needs backup that we should re-embrace talking on the phone. Enjoy! 

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Johnny details the harrowing experience of his cystoscopy. Then he needs backup on poutine being overrated. Andrew needs backup that it's unfair to the deceased to use DNA tests to discover their secrets. Enjoy! 

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It's episode 211 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup on not buying birthday gifts for adult friends. Andrew needs backup on charities having more practical goals. Enjoy!

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It's episode 210 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup on putting an end to "No Mow May." Andrew needs backup with restaurants having the confidence to choose their own sauces for menu items. Remember to subscribe to the Patreon for Post Show Banter!

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It's episode 209 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that we're overdue for someone inventing a new sport. Andrew needs backup on restaurants standing by all the items on their menu. Remember to subscribe to the Patreon for post-show banter!

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It's episode 208 of The Cavalry! Or, as it's known to some, our four year anniversary. To commemorate this momentous occasion, Andrew needs backup that any author is smarter than people who don't write books. Johnny needs backup that parent teacher conferences for kids under 10 are unnecessary. Remember to subscribe to the Patreon for post-show banter!

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It's episode 207 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that Chipotle's queso should be available everywhere. Andrew needs backup that furniture you order online needs to come a little bit more put together. Enjoy!

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It's episode 206 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup on pilots not bragging about being early until they're sure there's an open gate ready for the plane. Johnny needs backup on having real-time, fact checked debates being a requirement for running for President. Enjoy! 

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It's episode 205 of The Cavalry! A rare decline in backup comes from Andrew when Johnny goes after Shamrock Shakes. Then Andrew needs backup on removing old soap dispensers once the new ones have been installed to avoid confusion. Thank you for listening to the most important podcast in the world! Remember to subscribe to the Patreon for post-show banter. 

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It's episode 204 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that WebMD should be password protected so only doctors can access it. Andrew needs backup that boxing hype videos are counter-productive. Remember to join the Patreon for post-show banter! 

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It's episode 203 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup how people who complain about inflation need to stop ordering on DoorDash. Johnny needs backup that people need to have more shame around having pink eye. Enjoy!

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It's episode 202 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that the government should just tell us what we owe for taxes. Andrew needs backup that spies in the movies need to finish their expensive sandwiches rather than throwing them in the trash after one bite. Enjoy! 

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It's episode 201 of The Cavalry! Andrew has to record from inside an electric car while it charges. Did that stop us? Only sort of! Johnny needs backup that actors should have to go by their credited name in their real life. Andrew needs backup that they should just put protein in everything. Enjoy! 

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It's the 200th episode of The Cavalry! For this anniversary spectacular, Andrew needs backup on not being expected to bring big parent energy for other random kids beside your own. Johnny needs backup that seat-warmers in cars should come standard. Enjoy! And thanks for listening to all 200 episodes. Subscribe to the Patreon for post-show banter! 

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It's episode 199 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that choosing between the lesser of two evils isn't unique to politics. Johnny needs backup that whatever a doctor does to you you should be able to reciprocate if you choose to. Remember to subscribe to the Patreon for post-show banter! 

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It's episode 198 of The Cavalry! We backup two listeners who reviewed the podcast! Then Johnny needs backup that nobody wants the "Thins" version of any candy or cookie. Andrew needs backup that nobody cares if a food is authentic to the country it's from, just that it tastes good. Enjoy!

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It's episode 197 of The Cavalry and Johnny's back after a relaxing trip with the family to Disneyworld. Andrew needs backup on his theory that airlines should reward you for minutes spent on a plane rather than miles flown. Johnny needs backup that anyone should be able to use a handicap stall in public restrooms. 

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It's episode 196 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that it's wasn't better back then. Johnny needs backup that Jim from the Office was kind of a dick. Remember to subscribe to the Patreon for Post-Show Banter! 

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It's episode 195 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that parents shouldn't total up family vacation expenses for Instagram content. Johnny needs backup that you should need a license to post do-it-yourself videos. Remember to subscribe to the Patreon for post-show banter! 

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It's episode 194 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that by not flushing the toilet when you pee, the toilet paper piles up and then when he poops it's stinkier because it's not underwater. That's a topic right? Andrew needs backup that if the door flies off a plane he's riding in, and no one is injured, that the pilot should just keep going to the final destination. Enjoy! 

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