Healing For Love
By: Dr Gemma Gladstone
Language: en-au
Categories: Society, Culture, Relationships, Education, Self Improvement
Healing for Love A podcast for anyone who wants to stop shrinking, start healing, and grow into their most grounded, authentic self in love & life. Hosted by Dr Gemma Gladstone — relationship coach, former clinical psychologist (25+ years), and expert in schema healing — this podcast offers thoughtful, insight-rich episodes to help you understand your patterns, heal from past emotional wounds, and gently rewrite your relationship template.If you’ve ever felt stuck in familiar dynamics — seeking approval, fearing abandonment, dating narcissists or losing yourself in relationships — you’re not alone. Healing for Love is a space for self-reflection, emotional insight, and steady encouragement...
Episodes
131. No Matches, No Dates - Is Something Wrong With Me?
Dec 15, 2025Send Gemma a message
In today’s episode, I answer a short but powerful question that came in anonymously:
“Hi Gemma, I cannot even get a match, let alone a date. What the hell is wrong with me?”If you’ve ever stared at a dating app wondering why nothing is happening and quietly concluded “it must be me”, this episode is for you.
I'll look at three key areas:
The reality of modern dating apps – why they create a distorted, “smorgasbord” environment where incredible, emotionally available people are often overlooked.Othe... Duration: 00:42:52130. What Emotionally Available Partners Actually Do
Dec 08, 2025Send Gemma a message
We hear the term “emotionally unavailable” all the time, yet many women are not sure what the opposite actually looks like in real life. In this episode, Gemma breaks down emotional availability in clear, practical terms, so you can recognise it early, feel safer in your body and stop settling for relationships that leave you guessing.
Gemma also explores how schemas like Emotional Deprivation and Abandonment shape what feels “normal” in love, why emotionally safe partners can feel boring or suspicious at first, and how you can slowly retrain your nervous system t...
Duration: 00:43:56129: The Real Dating Mindset: 10 Shifts That Protect You From Old Patterns
Nov 24, 2025Send Gemma a message
Dating can stir up every schema you have. If you have a history of emotionally unavailable partners, narcissistic relationships or spending years in situationships that never really went anywhere, getting back out there can feel both hopeful and terrifying.
In this episode I walk you through ten grounded mindset shifts that help you stay in Healthy Adult mode while you date so you can notice red flags, take in green flags and stop abandoning yourself in the process.
I talk about:
Why dating is dataHow to shift... Duration: 00:55:53128. The Sorry Reflex - Why You Apologise (When You Don’t Need To)
Nov 15, 2025Send Gemma a message
In this episode, Gemma unpacks The Sorry Reflex - the automatic urge to apologise, even when we’ve done nothing wrong. Rooted in the subjugation schema, this coping behaviour often begins in childhood, where expressing needs or disagreeing felt unsafe. When our nervous system equates disapproval with danger, “sorry” becomes a way to stay safe and connected.
Gemma explains how this pattern shows up in dating, relationships, and everyday interactions - especially for women conditioned to be accommodating. You’ll learn to identify your triggers (tone changes, sighs, silence), notice t...
Duration: 00:33:31127. Can they change? Two Essential Qualities That Make It Possible
Nov 05, 2025Send Gemma a message
If you are asking can this improve, this episode gives you a simple lens. Gemma unpacks two essential capacities that predict whether change is possible in a relationship. You will hear why the brain repeats what is familiar, how schemas drive loops and how to assess real readiness for growth in yourself and in someone you are dating.
In this episode
Why patterns repeat even when you want something differentThe role of schemas in attraction, conflict and copingTwo essentials that predict changeWhy avoidance blocks growthDating as data, plus... Duration: 00:41:42126. Inside Limerence (Part 2): From fantasy to freedom
Oct 17, 2025Send Gemma a message
What limerence really is, why it hooks into our deepest unmet needs and how to gently unhook using a schema-therapy lens.
In Part 2, Gemma explores limerence as a preoccupying, often intoxicating state that’s fueled by unmet needs - with abandonment and emotional deprivation schemas usually at the core. She explains why the brain’s reward systems (hello, dopamine) and a quieted prefrontal cortex can hijack rationality, making red flags easy to miss. You’ll learn practical, compassionate ways to reduce rumination, interrupt mental...
Duration: 00:34:40125. Inside Limerence (Part 1): The psychology of the crush that won’t quit
Oct 06, 2025Send Gemma a message
🎁 Download Free Guide: Dating With Insight
🩷 Love Wisely Priority list for Feb '26
💛 Access Elevate You Worth: Self-Worth Healing Bundle
If you’ve ever been mentally and emotionally stuck on someone - checking for “signs,” fantasising a future and riding waves of hope and anxiety, then you may have experienced limerence. In Part 1, Gemma explains what limerence is (and isn’t), why uncertainty and fantasy make it so sticky and why the real issue isn’t the person (the “limerent object”) but y...
Duration: 00:33:40124. Narcissism Explained: What to Watch For in Relationships
Sep 30, 2025Send Gemma a message
A listener asks: “What exactly is narcissism and how can I tell if I’m dating someone with narcissistic traits?” In this episode, Gemma breaks narcissism down into plain English. You’ll learn why it’s best understood as a personality style on a spectrum, how narcissistic coping modes show up through self-absorption and poor tolerance for your subjectivity and the concrete signs to look for in the early dating stage. We also cover boundaries, reciprocity and practical ways to tune into - and trust - your internal radar.
Inside Love Wisely: A Heart-Centred Journey to Rewrite Your Love Template
Sep 14, 2025Send Gemma a message
Enrollments are Open, Doors Close Wednesday 17th 11:59PM (AEST)
In this short bonus episode, I’m giving you a clear picture of what’s inside my 12-week group coaching program, Love Wisely, which begins Wednesday, September 24th.
This program is for women who are ready to break free from old relationship patterns - especially the pull toward emotionally unavailable or narcissistic partners and finally rewrite their Love Template so they can choose relationships that feel safe, secure, and deeply fulfilling.
Here’s what you’ll recei...
Duration: 00:04:57123. The Fears That Hold You Back: 5 Limiting Beliefs Keeping You From Healthy Love
Sep 13, 2025Send Gemma a message
Gemma answers the most common questions she’s received about Love Wisely and widens the lens to address the deeper fears and limiting beliefs that stop women from changing their relationship patterns. You’ll learn how schemas (like abandonment, emotional deprivation, defectiveness/shame, subjugation, approval-seeking and unrelenting standards) quietly shape attraction, tolerance, and your choices and what it looks like to shift from fear-driven decisions to wise, Healthy Adult decisions.
What You’ll Learn
Why “I want love” is not neediness and why there’s no shame i... Duration: 00:43:32122. The Catch-22 of Attraction: Why We Want Love but End Up with Distance
Sep 09, 2025Send Gemma a message
When your heart wants closeness but your “old map” keeps pulling you toward distance, you’re stuck in the Catch-22 of attraction. In this episode, Gemma explains how early schemas quietly shape who you’re drawn to, why “chemistry” so often points you toward the familiar (not the healthy), and what it takes to consciously rewrite your Love Template so you can choose emotionally available partners.
In this episode, you’ll learn
What a schema is (quick primer) and why it’s more useful than attachment boxesHow the Abandonment Duration: 00:46:04121. When “Staying Friends” Costs Your Self-Respect: Trauma Bonds, Avoidant Partners & Letting Go
Sep 01, 2025Send Gemma a message
In this episode
I answer a listener Q from “Maddie,” who’s in post-breakup limbo with an avoidant ex. I unpack blurred boundaries after a breakup, why “staying friends” can quietly erode self-respect, how trauma bonds differ from schema-triggered dynamics, and what it really takes to let go when your abandonment schema is pulling you back. You’ll also get a simple Relationship Review exercise to spot your patterns so you can date with clearer self-trust next time.
What we cover
The self-respect signal: why “staying friend... Duration: 00:39:44120. The Rescuer Complex: Why Saving Them Won't Heal You
Aug 25, 2025Send Gemma a message
Why do caring, empathic women end up doing the heavy lifting in love, staying out of guilt and “rescuing” partners at the expense of their own needs? In this episode, Gemma unpacks the unconscious pull to fix others, how childhood patterns (self-sacrifice, subjugation, emotional deprivation) set the stage, and the real cost of over-functioning. You’ll learn how to shift from “fixer” to “feeler,” build healthy entitlement, and make self-supporting choices, even when guilt shouts loudly.
Key Takeaways
Rescuing often masks self-abandonment learned in childhood; guilt can keep you s... Duration: 00:30:26119. Your Past Relationships Are Trying to Tell You Something… Are You Listening?
Aug 11, 2025Send Gemma a message
Every past relationship leaves clues.
Patterns you’ve fallen into.
The kinds of people you’re drawn to.
The roles you find yourself playing without even realising it.
In this episode of Healing for Love, I’m walking you through 6 powerful reflection questions to help you see your love life more clearly and prepare you to approach dating in a new way.
These are the same questions I explore with my Love Wisely clients, because when you understand your patterns, you can finally break them.
The 6...
Duration: 00:42:00118. 7 Psychological Reasons We Ignore Red Flags in Relationships
Jun 06, 2025Send Gemma a message
Have you ever looked back at a relationship and thought, “Why didn’t I walk away sooner?” You’re not alone — and it’s not about weakness or denial. In this episode, Dr. Gemma Gladstone explores seven powerful psychological reasons we tend to ignore red flags in relationships — especially in the early stages.
Drawing on schema therapy, attachment theory, and decades of clinical experience, Gemma breaks down why patterns like schema chemistry, abandonment fears, self-doubt, and people-pleasing keep us stuck in emotionally...
Duration: 00:52:48117. How She Stopped Choosing Emotionally Unavailable Men — A Real Case Journey
May 22, 2025Send Gemma a message
Meet Sophie, a 37-year-old woman who spent years feeling stuck in painful relationship cycles. Like many women I work with, she kept attracting emotionally unavailable or narcissistic men — despite knowing, deep down, that something wasn’t right.
In this episode, I’ll walk you through Sophie’s journey: from identifying her relational schemas (like abandonment, emotional deprivation, and subjugation), to understanding how her childhood shaped her “love template,” to the powerful moment she made a clear commitment to change.
We’ll explore how she:
Finally ended a 7-year relationship t... Duration: 00:51:31116: Why Do We Minimize Harm in Relationships? Understanding the Psychology Behind Tolerating Abuse
May 02, 2025Send Gemma a message
In this important solo episode, Gemma reflects on a disturbing real-life conversation overheard between two teenage girls — one of whom casually describes being physically assaulted by her boyfriend. What follows is a powerful deep dive into why girls and women downplay harmful, even abusive, behaviour in relationships.
From shame, trauma bonding, and fear of judgement to deeply rooted schemas like abandonment, defectiveness, and subjugation, Gemma explores the internal and social forces that keep so many women stuck — and why prevention, education, and early recognition matter more than ever.
What...
Duration: 00:59:29115 – Healing for Love: Why Reparenting Your Abandoned Inner Child is the First Step to Secure Relationships
Apr 22, 2025Send Gemma a message
In this solo episode, Gemma explores one of the most foundational concepts when it comes to healing relationship patterns—the abandonment schema.
Whether you're currently dating or in a long-term relationship, understanding your own abandonment schema and how it influences your emotions, choices, and reactions is essential for cultivating emotional safety and secure connection.
Gemma explains:
What the abandonment schema is and how it developsHow it shows up in dating and relationships (from clingy overcompensation to total avoidance)The 3 common coping styles triggered by this schema—and how they... Duration: 00:45:13114. Are You Dating As Your True Self — Or a Coping Mode?
Apr 07, 2025Send Gemma a message
The Red Flag Project – Learn how to break free from toxic relationship patterns – theredflagproject.com
Schema Coaching & Support – Work with Dr. Gemma Gladstone
Support the show
🎁 Download Free Guide: Dating With Insight
🩷 Love Wisely Priority list for Early March 2026
💛 Access Elevate You Worth: Self-Worth Healing Bundle
Connect with Me
📷 Instagram: @drgemmagladstone
📧 Email: hello@drgemmagladstone.com for 1:1 coaching enquiries
🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com
🚩 The Red Flag Project - your ultimat...
Duration: 00:44:16113. The Mailbox – Healing from the Mother Wound: Letting Go of the Hope That Keeps You Stuck
Mar 19, 2025Send Gemma a message
In this mailbox episode, we dive into a listener question from Amy (name changed for privacy), who is struggling with the trauma bond with her narcissistic and emotionally neglectful mother. Amy shares her experience of emotional neglect, manipulation, gaslighting, and rejection—all while navigating the complicated reality of trying to maintain boundaries.
✔ What a trauma bond with a parent looks like – Why it’s so difficult to break free
✔ The cycle of hope & rejection – Why emotionally neglectful parents keep you in a stat...
112. Breaking Free from People-Pleasing: Six Questions to Help You Reconnect with Yourself
Mar 07, 2025Send Gemma a message
In this episode, Dr Gemma takes a deep dive into one of the most common and persistent life patterns—people-pleasing. If you've ever found yourself constantly prioritizing others' needs over your own, struggling to say no, or feeling exhausted from always trying to keep the peace, this episode is for you.
She explores:
✅ What people-pleasing really is and why it’s not just one behavior but a collection of patterns
✅ The three main schemas that drive people-pleasing
✅ How early experiences and conditioning shape this pattern an...
111. Seven Deadly Sins of the Narcissistic Dater: Red Flags You Can’t Ignore
Feb 12, 2025Send Gemma a message
Episode Description:
Are you dating someone new and wondering if they’re truly a good match? Or do you have a pattern of attracting emotionally unavailable or narcissistic partners? In this episode, Gemma breaks down The 7 Deadly Sins of the Narcissistic Dater—key warning signs that indicate deeper personality issues and potential toxic relationship dynamics.
These signs often reveal themselves early—sometimes even on the first date. Recognizing them before you get emotionally invested can save you from heartbreak and manipulation.
These behaviors aren’t just a...
Duration: 00:48:23110. Q&A: Understanding Emotional Availability and Narcissistic Family Challenges
Jan 27, 2025Send Gemma a message
Episode Overview:
In this engaging Q&A episode, Dr. Gemma Gladstone answers two listener questions, diving into the nuances of emotional availability in relationships and managing complex dynamics with a narcissistic parent.
Key Topics Covered:
Emotional Availability in RelationshipsHow to assess emotional availability beyond just words like "I love you."Why actions, consistency, and reliability are key indicators of emotional connection.Navigating personal triggers while building a secure relationship.Dealing with a Narcissistic ParentSupporting a partner who is enmeshed... Duration: 00:39:35109. When Family Ties Hurt: Navigating Estrangement and Difficult Relationships
Jan 21, 2025Send Gemma a message
Episode Overview:
In this deeply personal and insightful episode, Dr. Justine Corry shares her experience of family estrangement, reflecting on her relationship with a narcissistic mother and the impact on her life. Dr. Gemma Gladstone joins the conversation as they both discuss the psychological toll of estrangement and how schema therapy can help individuals heal and move forward.
Key Topics Covered:
What drives estrangement and why it’s never an easy decision.The role of schemas in shaping family dynamics and coping mechanisms.Personal reflections on... Duration: 00:36:33108. Which Life Script Do You Want to Let Go of This Year?
Jan 02, 2025Send Gemma a message
Happy New Year! In this first episode of 2025, Gemma invites you to reflect on the life scripts and recurring patterns that no longer serve you and take intentional steps toward rewriting them. Life scripts are the unconscious stories and patterns that shape how we think, feel, and behave, often holding us back from living authentically and joyfully.
By unpacking and letting go of these outdated narratives, we create space for personal growth, healthier relationships, and a life aligned with our true selves.
In This Episode, Gemma Discusses:<...
Duration: 00:37:54ENCORE + More: 73. Six Strategies for dealing with difficult relatives over the Holidays
Dec 22, 2024Send Gemma a message
Welcome to the final Episode for this year! We will be back with new episodes in 2025.
Support the show
🎁 Download Free Guide: Dating With Insight
🩷 Love Wisely Priority list for Early March 2026
💛 Access Elevate You Worth: Self-Worth Healing Bundle
Connect with Me
📷 Instagram: @drgemmagladstone
📧 Email: hello@drgemmagladstone.com for 1:1 coaching enquiries
🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com
🚩 The Red Flag Project - your ultimate guide to red flags! Get Instant Access
<... Duration: 00:51:22107. The Guilt Game: Inside The Martyr Mode
Dec 11, 2024Send Gemma a message
In this episode of we dive deep into the "martyr mode," a coping style often discussed in schema therapy. We explore what it means to have a martyr complex or mode, how it shows up in relationships, and the emotional dynamics that fuel this behaviour.
Key topics covered include:
The defining traits of the martyr mode and how it may stem from deeper emotional wounds, unmet needs and emotional deprivation.The guilt-inducing and manipulative aspects of martyr behaviour, and its impact on relationships with children, partners, and others.How this... Duration: 00:34:00106. Healthy Adult Daily Practice: An Intentional Reflection Tool
Dec 06, 2024Send Gemma a message
Healthy Adult Daily Practice: An Intentional Reflection Tool
In this episode, Gemma introduces a practical tool called Healthy Adult Daily Practice, designed to help you strengthen and nurture your Healthy Adult mode. Building on the foundational features of the Healthy Adult mode discussed in the previous episode, this episode walks you through a simple, intentional practice that can be integrated into your daily life to promote emotional resilience, self-awareness, and healthier relationships.
What You'll Learn in This Episode:
What is the... Duration: 00:19:27105. 7 Essential Characteristics of the Healthy Adult Mode
Nov 27, 2024Send Gemma a message
In this episode, Gemma dives into the cornerstone of schema therapy: the Healthy Adult mode. This is the part of us that represents balance, wisdom, and compassion—our best self that helps us navigate relationships, emotions, and life’s challenges effectively.
What You’ll Learn:
Mindfulness: Why mindfulness is the foundational building block for self-awareness, self-reflection, and personal growth.The Healthy Adult as Executor: How this mode acts as the caretaker, director, and overseer of all other modes.The Wise and Courageous Self: The... Duration: 00:52:24104: The Good, the Bad and the Bond: Understanding Trauma Bonding.
Nov 18, 2024Send Gemma a message
In this solo episode, Gemma dives deep into the concept of trauma bonding, shedding light on why some people feel emotionally tethered to unhealthy or toxic relationships. Drawing from listener questions she explores the psychological mechanisms behind trauma bonds, including the powerful dynamic of the "good-bad ratio" and how it can replicate patterns from childhood.
Gemma also discusses how schemas—such as abandonment, mistrust/abuse, and defectiveness—can make individuals more vulnerable to trauma bonding and highlights the role of manipulative behaviors like love bombing, gaslighting, and boundary-pushing in these relationships.
103. A Deep Dive into the Self-Sacrifice Schema
Nov 06, 2024Send Gemma a message
This episode will resonate with anyone struggling with an overdeveloped sense of responsibility to others and those who feel “stuck” in cycles of overgiving.
In this solo episode, Gemma dives deep into the self-sacrifice schema, exploring how it manifests, its origins in family dynamics, and the toll it takes on those who constantly prioritize others over themselves. This schema, often seen in people who struggle with setting boundaries, can lead to burnout, resentment, and a diminished sense of self-worth.
Gemma delves into the drama triangle—the roles of victim, rescuer...
ENCORE. Dating with an abandonment schema: Coping with triggers
Oct 25, 2024Send Gemma a message
New Group Coaching Program: "Date Differently": A 6-week online group coaching program designed to help women build self-trust, set boundaries, and date with confidence. Starts November 6th. SIGN UP BEFORE 26TH OCT AND SAVE! Spots are limited. Signature Course – The Red Flag Project: This newly updated course covers schemas, red flags, and how to recognize unavailable partners. It’s recommended to take the course before joining the coaching program to get the most out of the sessions. Access it here. Special limited time discount code: HERBESTLIFEGet the FREE GUIDE - D... Duration: 00:42:15102. Dating Without Fear: 8 Common Anxieties and How to Overcome Them
Oct 21, 2024Send Gemma a message
New Group Coaching Program: "Date Differently": A 6-week online group coaching program designed to help women build self-trust, set boundaries, and date with confidence. Starts November 6th. SIGN UP BEFORE 26TH OCT AND SAVE! Spots are limited. Signature Course – The Red Flag Project: This newly updated course covers schemas, red flags, and how to recognize unavailable partners. It’s recommended to take the course before joining the coaching program to get the most out of the sessions. Access it here. Special limited time discount code: HERBESTLIFEGet the FREE GUIDE - D... Duration: 00:36:28Exciting Opportunity for Women: Ready for a Fresh Approach to Dating?
Oct 15, 2024Send us a text
Exciting Announcement - Join Our New Group Coaching Program
Exciting News: Join Our New Group Coaching Program for Women –
Date Differently - Secure your place now - SIGN UP BY 26TH OCT AND SAVE!
Come and join us live for six 90-min group sessions designed to revamp your approach to dating and get you feeling hopeful & confident again! Plus added bonuses.
Summary - Introducing our new 6-week online group coaching program for women called Date Differently. If you...
Duration: 00:04:35ENCORE: 41. Dating with an Abandonment Schema Part 1
Oct 15, 2024Send Gemma a message
Special Announcements:
New Group Coaching Program: "Date Differently": A 6-week online group coaching program designed to help women build self-trust, set boundaries, and date with confidence. Starts November 6th. SIGN UP BEFORE 26TH OCT AND SAVE!Signature Course – The Red Flag Project: This newly updated course covers schemas, red flags, and how to recognize unavailable partners. It’s recommended to take the course before joining the coaching program to get the most out of the sessions. Access it here. Special limited time discount code... Duration: 00:32:21ENCORE + more: Dating Fatigue - How To Stay Hopeful!
Oct 09, 2024Send Gemma a message
Special Announcements:
New Group Coaching Program: "Date Differently": A 6-week online group coaching program designed to help women build self-trust, set boundaries, and date with confidence. Starts November 6th. SIGN UP BEFORE 26TH OCT AND SAVE!Signature Course – The Red Flag Project: This newly updated course covers schemas, red flags, and how to recognize unavailable partners. It’s recommended to take the course before joining the coaching program to get the most out of the sessions. Access it here. Special limited time discount code... Duration: 00:54:05101. Is Hook-Up Culture Affecting Your Self-Worth?
Oct 07, 2024Send Gemma a message
In this episode, we explore the challenges of navigating casual sex culture and hookup culture, particularly for individuals with abandonment schemas, emotional deprivation schemas, or anxious attachment styles. Join us as we discuss common scenarios, the emotional impacts of casual encounters, and strategies for those seeking meaningful relationships.
Key Discussion Points:
The Rise of Casual Sex Culture:We delve into how dating apps and societal expectations have normalized casual encounters, particularly for women who may feel pressured to conform.Understanding Your Emotional Triggers:
We... Duration: 00:31:53
100. The Mailbox: Hidden in Plain Sight: Recognizing Red Flags You Can’t Ignore
Sep 30, 2024Send Gemma a message
New Group Coaching Program: "Date Differently": A 6-week online group coaching program designed to help women build self-trust, set boundaries, and date with confidence. Starts November 6th. SIGN UP BEFORE 26TH OCT AND SAVE!
In this thoughtful Mailbox episode, Justine and Gemma respond to a listener’s heartfelt question about navigating the confusion between green flags and subtle red flags in a relationship. 'Laura', the listener, describes her experience dating a man who seemed like a wonderful partner—kind, attentive, successful, and emotionally vulnerable. However, despite these positive qualities, Laur...
Duration: 00:31:4999. The Mailbox - The Hidden Costs of Casual Sex: Unpacking the Abandonment Schema
Sep 16, 2024Send Gemma a message
Special Announcements:
New Group Coaching Program: "Date Differently": A 6-week online group coaching program designed to help women build self-trust, set boundaries, and date with confidence. Starts November 6th. SIGN UP BEFORE 26TH OCT AND SAVE!Signature Course – The Red Flag Project: This newly updated course covers schemas, red flags, and how to recognize unavailable partners. It’s recommended to take the course before joining the coaching program to get the most out of the sessions. Access it here. Special limited time discount code... Duration: 00:27:1498. The Entitlement Trap: Understanding the Schema That Sabotages Relationships
Sep 09, 2024Send Gemma a message
In this episode, we unpack the complexities of the entitlement schema—a schema that's often linked to narcissistic traits and one that rarely brings individuals to therapy. Unlike schemas like abandonment or self-sacrifice, those with an entitlement schema often believe their way of thinking is justified, which makes it hard to seek change. We explore how this schema is formed, how it manifests in relationships, and what it takes for someone to recognize and work on it. This episode is particularly useful for those in relationships with someone exhibiting entitlement or for parents wa...
Duration: 00:33:5697. This Hidden Schema Sabotages Success: Unmasking the Failure Schema
Aug 12, 2024Send Gemma a message
Episode Summary:
Dr Gemma Gladstone and Justine Corry dive into the Failure Schema, a schema that is often overlooked but can be profoundly impactful in many areas of life, particularly in achievement and work-related contexts. They explore how this schema manifests, its origins, and how it often intertwines with other schemas such as defectiveness, dependence, and even unrelenting standards.
Key Takeaways:
Understanding the Failure Schema: The Failure Schema is a pervasive belief that one is destined to fail or is inherently... Duration: 00:33:0996. Break-up Recovery: Can we really ever get 'Closure'?
Aug 06, 2024Send Gemma a message
Special Announcements:
New Group Coaching Program: "Date Differently": A 6-week online group coaching program designed to help women build self-trust, set boundaries, and date with confidence. Starts November 6th. SIGN UP BEFORE 26TH OCT AND SAVE!Signature Course – The Red Flag Project: This newly updated course covers schemas, red flags, and how to recognize unavailable partners. It’s recommended to take the course before joining the coaching program to get the most out of the sessions. Access it here. Special limited time discount code... Duration: 00:43:0895. A Schema Therapy Take on Defensiveness & How to Reduce it.
Jul 29, 2024Send Gemma a message
Schema Circle Membership - Join Now!
Information about private therapy/coaching with Gemma or Justine email us: justineandgemma@goodmood.com.au
In today's episode, Gemma explores the impact of Defensiveness on relationships, its root causes, and practical steps to overcome it.
Key Points:
Defensive Phrases:Common examples: "It's not my fault," "You always," "You never," "You're overreacting."Recognize these as signs of defensiveness.Impact on Relationships:Defensiveness is a relationship killer, identified by John and Julie G... Duration: 00:36:0894. Self-Reparenting: Practical Tips
Jul 18, 2024Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
Schema Circle Membership - Join Now!
Reparenting is at the heart of schema therapy and you can learn how to do it yourself.
In this episode Gemma and Justine discuss how to start reparenting yourself and provide several practical suggestions for how to get started. Reparenting is central to psychological and schema healing. The more you practice, the easier it gets and the psychologically integrated and connected you will feel.
Support the s...
Duration: 00:33:5193. Why am I surrounded by Narcissists?
Jun 20, 2024Send Gemma a message
Get the Free Guide on Breaking the toxic ties of Narcissistic parents
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
Schema Circle Membership - Join Now!
In this episode Gemma discusses what puts people at risk of having narcissistic friends. What are some of the schemas that play a role in this? What can you do if you realise that you have 1 too many self-absorbed people in your life? It can feel demoralizing and you might feel like giving up. Gemma then disc...
92. Back to Basics: What is a Schema?
May 29, 2024Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
Schema Circle Membership - Join Now!
In this episode Gemma and Justine go back to basics and take a deep-dive into what is a schema or an Early Maladaptive Schema to be precise. This episode will provide you with the basics of what you need to know if you're wanting to understand schemas more thoroughly or are perhaps confused about the concept and can't quite grasp it. Hope you enjoy the episode!
91. Understanding the Mistrust/Abuse Schema
May 06, 2024Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
Today we share a clip from our "Schema In Focus" series in our Schema Circle Membership.
Gemma and Justine discuss this schema in-depth, including its origins, what it feels like, how it is typically triggered and other things to look out for with this schema.
Support the show
🎁 Download Free Guide: Dating With Insight
🩷 Love Wisely Priority list for Early March 2026
💛 Access Elevate You Worth: Self-Worth...
Duration: 00:44:1990. Invisible Barriers: Why Women Stay with Unavailable Partners
Feb 09, 2024Send Gemma a message
In today's episode Gemma discusses the invisible reasons why so many women find it hard to leave an unhealthy relationship EARLY. Based on her experience and knowledge gained from hearing the stories of hundred's of women, Gemma outlines her top 3 schema-related reasons why women don't exit relationships with partners who shows signs of unavailability, control and or narcissism.
Tune in to find out why you may have gone against your best instincts and hung in there too long hoping for your new partner to change.
Supp...
Duration: 00:45:1989. Understanding the abandonment wound and where it comes from
Jan 05, 2024Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
In today's episode we play an excerpt from a deep dive discussion on the abandonment schema from our monthly membership program, The Schema Circle.
We discuss the abandonment schema and fine tune it's origins, what it actually feels like and the many triggers for this schema.
Support the show
🎁 Download Free Guide: Dating With Insight
🩷 Love Wisely Priority list for Early March 2026
💛 Access Elevate You Worth: Sel...
Duration: 00:30:1588. Blinded by Love: Why you might ignore Red Flags when dating
Nov 14, 2023Send Gemma a message
Sometimes spotting red flags isn't the problem, its acting on them for your own best interests. In today's episode we discuss the main reasons why you might ignore red flags when dating. We look at the role of core schemas such as 'abandonment', 'emotional deprivation' and 'defectiveness' and how these schema can negatively influence our decision making. We think you'll enjoy this one if you have ever struggled with leaving a new relationship even though one part of you knew it wasn't right for you. Hope you enjoy.
Support the show
<... Duration: 00:37:5787. BITESIZE QUESTION. Are you an Over-Compensator?
Sep 20, 2023Send Gemma a message
When a schema is triggered, we typically have an urge to respond in 1 of 3 (unhelpful) ways. In this episode Gemma talks about 'over-compensation' as one of those coping style.
Over-compensation (also referred to a counter-attack) is one of 3 maladaptive coping styles discussed in schema therapy.
Gemma reviews examples of over-compensation behaviours associated with each of the 18 schemas (in the original schema model).
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Duration: 00:17:40BONUS: Compassionate Responding Meditation for Therapists & Other Carers
Sep 13, 2023Send Gemma a message
Dear Therapist, Carer or anyone witnessing the emotional pain & suffering of a client or another person or friend. You are invited to take a breath, stop and notice how you are feeling. Spend 20 minutes doing this compassion-based exercise with Dr Gemma Gladstone as she guides you through a journey of loving-kindness towards both yourself and the person you are choosing to focus on.
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Duration: 00:18:3086. How to Stay Cool When Your Teenager Isn't!!
Sep 04, 2023Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
Parenting Teenagers
You'll love this episode if you're looking for tips and clues for parenting your teen or tween.
In this episode we discuss a question asked by a member of our Schema Circle. The questions asks how to manage and deal with teenagers when they are being "disrespectful" difficult and or angry and you are in the firing line!
How can we be the "Lighthouse" for our teens and give the...
85: The Abandonment Schema: Relationships & Break-ups
Aug 22, 2023Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
In this episode, Gemma and Justine answer a question from one of their Schema Circle members.
The question asks how can we know if our reaction to a break-up is fuelled by an abandonment schema or not? Before getting into this question, Gemma provides a review of the abandonment schema, it's origin and how it tends to play out in romantic relationships.
The 3 ways this schema plays out in romantic relationships are (1) - a...
84. Three Long-Term Consequences of Narcissistic Parenting
Jul 26, 2023Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
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🎁 Download Free Guide: Dating With Insight
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Connect with Me
📷 Instagram: @drgemmagladstone
📧 Email: hello@drgemmagladstone.com for 1:1 coaching enquiries
🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com
🚩 The Red Flag Project - your ultimate guide to red flags! Get Instant Access
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Duration: 00:33:0183. BITESIZE QUESTION: How can I start to heal my emotional deprivation schema?
Jul 19, 2023Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
In this episode, we discuss the emotional deprivation schema and how to start to heal this schema from the inside out.
This is probably the most common schema - about 50% of people have this schema. It's the one that can be the hardest to recognise because we are often not aware of what we didn't get.
Stay tuned to hear us discuss how we start to work with this schema and what you can do i...
82. BITESIZE QUESTION: What's the difference between self-sacrifice and subjugation schemas?
Jul 11, 2023Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
Are you unsure about the difference between these 2 common schemas.
In this bitesize episode we discuss the difference and similarities between these schemas. These schemas are often considered to be 'conditional' schemas in that they develop as a way to cope with and respond to the core schemas - like abandonment for example.
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Duration: 00:12:2981. The Mailbox: What is a disorganized attachment style and why we prefer schemas!?
May 18, 2023Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
In this thought-provoking episode, we explore the concept of disorganized attachment style and challenge the inclination to worry excessively about labels.
Join us as we delve into the complexities of disorganized attachment and shed light on why understanding it shouldn't be a source of distress.
We'll discuss the limitations of categorization and emphasize the importance of focusing on the underlying experiences and emotions that shape our attachment patterns.
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🎁 D...
Duration: 00:41:4080. Talking to a Narcissist? Avoid These 6 Common Pitfalls
May 06, 2023Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
Talking to a Narcissist? Avoid These 6 Common Pitfalls
Very often, if you were raised by a narcissist, in adulthood you will more or less fall into the trap of seeking the approval of people who are narcissistic.
A narcissists acceptance of you is often conditional – as long as you are the version of you they want to see, then they treat you well, or at least in an acceptable way.
In this episode Ge...
Duration: 00:51:4279. From Sizzle to Fizzle: When a Great First Date Doesn't Lead Anywhere
Mar 29, 2023Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
Don't you hate this! You'v e had a first great date with someone and then it's all down hill from there. What went wrong?
In this episode Justine and Gemma put this issue under the microscope and dissect the anatomy of this all too common and disappointing scenario.
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Duration: 00:32:2678. Don't Second Guess: Trusting Your Intuition to Identify Early Indicators of Intimate Partner Abuse
Feb 23, 2023Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
TRIGGER WARNING - Intimate partner abuse discussed and some sobering statistics of violence/sexual violence against woman are stated.
In today's episode we speak with Psychologist Leanne Nunn who has recently completed her PhD research on The Earliest Warning Signs of Intimate Partner Abuse. Leanne has over twenty five years of experience as a psychologist in the clinical, management and training sectors. She is also a PhD Student at the University of Tasmania focusing on intim...
77. The Heart of the Matter: Understanding Our Core Emotional Needs
Feb 07, 2023Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
In this episode we discuss core emotional needs and why they are so important for humans throughout our life. We are born into the world with needs and our emotional, social, physical and psychological well-being depends upon them. Our early care-givers are responsible for meeting our needs and as we grow and develop both ourselves and other people play a role in meeting emotional needs.
The needs discussed are:
76. Emotional Landmines: Understanding and Coping with Schema Triggers
Jan 31, 2023Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
In this episode, Gemma does a solo show talking all about schema triggers and schema activation.
Gemma described the trigger chain and how we can break down the components of schema activation - feelings, thoughts, memories, sensations. She describes what action urges are and how they are also part of the schema. She then outlines the 3 different types of coping responses and how we can start to make some behavioural changes.
Finally Gemma also discusses som...
75: The Lasting Impact of a Close Friend's Death
Jan 10, 2023Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
TRIGGER WARNING - This episode talks about death, dying, grief and breast cancer.
In Loving Memory of Astrid von Lojewski-Wilson 16/11/76 - 11/12/19, a beautiful human being, greatly missed every day.
In this podcast, Gemma talks about the profound impact of losing a close friend through death. She describes her own experience of grief after the death of her close friend from cancer.
Gemma then discusses 5 ways tha...
74: Understanding Narcissistic Modes in Schema Therapy
Dec 31, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
In schema therapy, 'Modes' are a key part of the model. Schema Modes have been defined as moment-to-moment emotional states and coping responses that we all experience. But also, Modes can be understood as 'parts' of self. So modes can be observable to others and/or also a way to conceptualise the idea of multi-selves (ie, that we all have parts of self).
Schema modes are activated by triggers (eg, life situations, memories, interactions with others...
73: Six strategies for dealing with difficult relatives over the holidays
Dec 21, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
In this episode Gemma and Justine discuss 6 strategies for dealing with difficult family relatives over the Christmas and holiday period. Getting together with family for many, can be a stressful and challenging time.
There are usually lots of unspoken expectations and sometimes old resentments and old hurts which get activated during this time.
Firstly you need to decide on whether you will be attending gatherings with that difficult person or people and then you need to...
72: Four things you can work on if you think you are Narcissistic
Dec 14, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
In this episode Justine & Gemma discuss 4 things you can start working on if you think that you might have narcissistic traits or modes.
Typically, if someone tells us they think they are narcissistic, they often are not at all. Most clients who are narcissistic don't present for therapy unless their world is significantly compromised in some way (eg, their spouse splits up with them, they lose their job, they lose friends and people don't want to being a...
71: Understanding Your Emotions With Mindfulness & Without Judgement
Dec 10, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
Dr Gemma Gladstone discusses mindfulness to emotions in this extended podcast lesson. Gemma describes what emotions are and the difference between the 5 basic emotions (anger, fear, sadness, disgust and joy) and more complex emotions such as shame.
She discusses why it is so important to acknowledge and experience emotions rather than suppressing, blocking and criticising them. She recaps why the parenting practice of Emotion Coaching is so useful for young and developing children and how these practice lea...
70. The Mailbox: My Partner Had An Affair, What Now?
Dec 01, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
In this episode we discuss a question from a listener in our mailbox series. We love getting your emails and questions!
The Mailbox: My Partner Had An Affair, What Now?
When you find out your partner (who you thought was wonderful) has been unfaithful, this is pretty devastating news to say the least. It's confusing and shocking news, especially if it was completely 100% unexpected.
In this episode we address a listener's que...
69: Three Signs You Need Better Boundaries
Nov 22, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
In this episode we discuss 3 signs that you may want to firm up your psychological boundaries.
The first one is Resentment. Having high levels of long standing resentment is a sign that you have been suppressing your true thoughts and feelings for way too long, perhaps you have been "yes" when you really wanted to say "no". Resentment can be the result of surrendering to your subjugation schema- feeling that you can't speak your mind for...
68. Five Things 'Difficult' Parents Do
Nov 09, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
In this episode we discuss 5 things that difficult parents do. We get so many requests to talk about relationships including the adult parent-child relationship. No matter what age you are, you can still find yourself caught up in the emotional forcefield of your family or origin and some interactions can take you straight back to childhood.
Ask us a question or suggest a topic by emailing: justineandgemma@goodmood.com.au
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<... Duration: 00:33:36Encore Episode: 22: Coming to terms with narcissistic parents
Nov 03, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
This episode is a popular one from a while back. Encore Episode: 22: Coming to terms with narcissistic parents.
Support the show
🎁 Download Free Guide: Dating With Insight
🩷 Love Wisely Priority list for Early March 2026
💛 Access Elevate You Worth: Self-Worth Healing Bundle
Connect with Me
📷 Instagram: @drgemmagladstone
📧 Email: hello@drgemmagladstone.com for 1:1 coaching enquiries
🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com
🚩 The...
Duration: 00:34:5467. Schemas and Parenting: How schemas influence our attitudes & responses
Oct 20, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
In this episode we discuss the role that schemas play when try to Emotion Coach our kids. We believe that the parenting style of Emotion Coaching (J Gottman), is the gold standard when it comes to emotional attunement and meeting children's emotional needs. BUT, we all have our own schemas as parents, so how can we be our best when we get triggered?
Book mentioned:- Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman.
...
Duration: 00:31:1266. Emotion Coaching our Kids for Schema Prevention
Oct 14, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
In this episode we discuss the parenting style of Emotion Coaching (J Gottman). We cover the 5 steps of emotion coaching and discuss how emotion coaching is akin to emotional attunement and helps us to actively meet our children's emotional needs.
Book mentioned:- Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman.
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🎁 Download Free Guide: Dating With Insight
🩷 Love Wisely Priority list for Early March 2...
Duration: 00:40:4865: What Is The Healthy Adult Mode In Schema Therapy?
Sep 28, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
In this episode we are talking about the healthy adult mode in schema therapy. In schema therapy, one of the main aims is to develop and foster this mode. We all have this mode within us to use as a resource - to varying degrees. There are many things we can do to build and strengthen this mode and it increase the qualities of this mode for ourselves.
In this episode we take a look a...
Duration: 00:46:1164. Am I a 'Rescuer' in my relationships?
Sep 20, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
In this episode we discuss a really interesting pattern that many people find themselves in when we're in this role. It can be really torturous and painful and we don't think clearly at all. It's a pattern that's played out mostly in romantic relationships and is almost always a replication of the past.
What does it mean to be a rescuer in relationships and why are some people really prone to fall into this pattern. Well Justine th...
63: The Mailbox: My Inner Critic Is Called Dick
Sep 12, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
Join us as we discuss a listener's email about her inner critic to whom she has given the name 'Dick'. A listener, whom we refer to as 'Mia' has sent us a detailed email about her inner critic. 'Dick' the critic, says all sorts of nasty and punitive things to Mia, but sometimes Mia feels that he actually protects her. How can this be? Does her critic actually protect her from something? Could it have a protective role and if so...
Duration: 00:53:2562: The Emotional Deprivation Schema
Sep 05, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
Up to 50% of people have this schema, it's incredibly common and underpins a great many relationship, personality and mental health issues.
We discuss the Emotional Deprivation Schema. It's one of the core schemas, it develops early life usually in the first 10 years. It can be a tricky one for us to identify as it tends to be pervasive but elusive at the same time.
What is it:
The Emotional Dep...
Duration: 00:48:4261: How Can I Change My Unrelenting Standards Schema?
Aug 24, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
Justine tends to overcommit to things. After agreeing to do something, she often regrets it and lands up with a schema hangover because there are big consequences to changing her mind and saying no, and getting out of what she has committed to do can sometimes create a big drama.
Since the last episode, she has been reflecting on how much an unrelenting standards schema contributes to people’s stress and sense of being rushed. Sh...
Duration: 00:44:0660: When Good Enough Is Never Enough: The Unrelenting Standards Schema. Part 1
Aug 17, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
We are talking about the unrelenting standards schema in this episode.
The unrelenting standards schema is closely related to perfectionism. People with an unrelenting standards schema tend to have very high expectations of themselves that do not change, regardless of the situation they are in. They are constantly striving for standards, and when they don't meet them, it can be very distressing. Some people become so good at meeting high standards that their lives become...
Duration: 00:49:0959: The Mailbox: When Both Your Parents Are Narcissists
Aug 10, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
We are doing a mailbox episode today!
Someone we will call Sam sent in a thoughtful and vulnerable email after listening to and resonating with something we mentioned in our episode on narcissistic mothers.
Sam is an overseas listener who grew up with two narcissistic parents. He has a brother and a younger sister who he describes as his mother’s narcissistic “mini-me”.
In the podcast, we mentione...
Duration: 00:44:2358: Why Do I Sabotage My Relationships? What You Need to Know About Your Abandonment Schema
Aug 03, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
In this episode, Gemma does a solo episode on what you need to know if you have an abandonment schema and find yourself getting triggered in a relationship.
We, as humans, are wired to be cared for by others and form strong physical and emotional attachments. We depend on our early attachments, so if those attachment needs are unfulfilled, interrupted, or severed, we could develop an abandonment schema.
An abandonment schema...
Duration: 00:33:2457: You Are Not Your Diagnosis
Jul 27, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
Gemma and Justine both have a history of working in mental health settings in psychiatric research.
A while back, someone referred to Gemma by a psychiatrist arrived with a diagnosis of treatment-resistant depression and all query bipolar disorder. Working with Gemma over time, he understood what was driving his mood and chronicity from a schema perspective. He also realized how his history of complex trauma impacted how he generally felt in life. None of that h...
Duration: 01:00:33Encore Episode: Coping with Narcissistic Parents: Four Different Dynamics
Jul 20, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
This episode is an encore replay of Episode 20, which was a popular episode for our listeners.
We have another podcast in our series on narcissism for you. For today, we will stay with the topic of the narcissistic parent and discuss the types of relationships you might be having with your narcissistic parent and the kind of dynamics you might find within that relationship. Clinically, we tend to see four categories of those kinds of r...
Duration: 00:57:5556: Why are People Passive-Aggressive?
Jul 13, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
In this episode we are talking about passive aggression.
Passive aggression is covert aggression. It is a form of hostility people carry inside themselves that they express indirectly to make a point. We tend to use it when we are not being honest and authentic to express our anger, frustration, or resentment in a roundabout way.
When someone uses passive aggression, they are not expressing what they truly feel. It can b...
Duration: 00:44:4555: Revisiting the Abandonment Schema & Romantic Relationships
Jul 06, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
We are revisiting the abandonment schema in our latest episode.
Some of Gemma’s clients are considering returning to the dating world again, so they asked her to talk some more about the abandonment schema and how it relates to dating.
Abandonment is a huge topic! In schema therapy, the abandonment schema is one of the core schemas. It is a very primitive and primal schema. It is possibly the most cen...
Duration: 00:52:5054: Understanding the Defectiveness Schema
Jun 29, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
We are talking about the defectiveness shame schema in this episode. It is one of the core schemas. It is quite common, and it tends to develop early in life.
The defectiveness schema is tricky. It is sometimes so deeply hidden that we may not even know someone has it. It comes with a deep sense of unworthiness and feelings of being fundamentally flawed as an individual.
People with the defectiveness sc...
Duration: 00:50:3853: Dating Fatigue: What you need to do to feel hopeful again!
Jun 22, 2022Send Gemma a message
Schema Chemistry Webinar
This episode is in the realm of dating. It will appeal to women experiencing hopelessness after having implemented changes in the men they are dating, and then men they should avoid start to slip in under their radar.
Initially, you may think the guy is different. But after the first few weeks of dating, the cracks start showing. You may notice that he is critical or does not prioritize the relationship much. Or you may feel uncertain about where you stand with him. Then the i...
52: Disarming the Narcissist: Being True to Yourself in Dating, Relationships & Other Tough Encounters with Wendy Behary
Jun 15, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
We are delighted to have Wendy Behary joining us on the podcast! Wendy is an expert on narcissism. She is very well-known in the world of schema therapy for the work she has done on narcissism.
Wendy is the Founder and Director of the Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and the Schema Therapy Institutes of New Jersey, New York City, and DC. She is also the author of the bestselling book, Disarming the Narcissist...
Duration: 01:00:3951: Overcoming Schema Chemistry: Breaking Old Relationship Patterns
Jun 08, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
Over the years, Gemma and Justine have had many clients, mostly women, with some insecure attachment styles. Those clients have a pattern of being attracted to and forming relationships with aloof, inconsistent, unreliable, emotionally depriving, or emotionally unavailable people. They sometimes feel the lack and become aware of what they are not getting from the relationship. Yet something about the relationship dynamic resonates with them subconsciously, so they tend to stay in it.
Often, they d...
Duration: 00:51:1650: Schema Chemistry 101: Uncovering the Hidden Reason Why Your Relationships don't Work Out
Jun 01, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
We are talking about schema chemistry in this episode!
Have you ever been swept away in the excitement of a new relationship soon after meeting someone? Perhaps you cannot stop thinking about the person and believe they are perfect for you because it feels like you have known them all your life. It might feel amazing initially, but over the next few weeks or months, things start to unravel. You may begin to feel some...
Duration: 00:54:2049: How to Start Reparenting Yourself
May 17, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
In schema therapy, the therapist sometimes engages with the client in different ways through limited re-parenting as part of the therapeutic relationship.
In this episode, we will be talking about how we can re-parent ourselves. Re-parenting is something almost everyone can do because we all have the necessary emotional resources within us.
If you take the time to tune in, you can easily tap into your inner emotional resources and help y...
Duration: 00:57:1448: People Pleasing & Approval Seeking: Are You Looking for Approval in All the Wrong Places?
May 04, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
Subjugation is common in our society, particularly amongst women and people in the helping professions.
Subjugation is relevant within schema therapy. Yet it tends to be grossly under-examined and under-rated as a schema because it is generally considered secondary or conditional to the core or unconditional schemas like the abandonment schema, the Emotional Deprivation schema, or the mistrust abuse schema, all of which are developed very early in life.
Schemas are fas...
Duration: 00:37:2347: Are You Living a Subjugated Life?
Apr 06, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
When we subjugate ourselves, we suppress our authenticity and aspects of who we are. In schema therapy, the self-sacrifice and subjugation schemas are called other-directed schemas. Those schemas appear similar in that they are both subjugating schemas, but there are some key differences.
We tend to suppress our needs when we want to care for others. We suppress our views and desires when we are afraid of getting hurt or angering someone. People-pleasers are always...
Duration: 00:38:3246: The Tinder Swindler Part 2: Victim Blaming, Love Scamming and the Rise of Cat-fishing
Mar 30, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
In this episode, we continue with our two-part series on the Netflix production, The Tinder Swindler.
In the first part, we spoke about the schemas and modes of the scammer in the movie. He is a con artist who meets women on Tinder and then persuades them to lend him vast sums of money.
In the second part, we focus on the women, or the victims, in The Tinder Swindler. We l...
Duration: 00:39:1645: The Tinder Swindler – Looking Through the Schema Lens
Mar 09, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
In this episode, we are talking about red flags.
The Netflix movie, The Tinder Swindler, shows an extremely nasty example of an emotionally unavailable man. The movie is scary but riveting. It tells the story of a con man who persuades women he meets on Tinder to lend him large sums of money. Even though the character in the movie is an extreme version of what an emotionally unavailable man might be like, it helps t...
Duration: 00:49:1644: Are You an Emotional Eater? Schemas and Food, Part 1
Mar 02, 2022Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
*** Trigger Warning: This podcast discusses the issue of emotional eating and mentions words like 'body fat' & 'central obesity' *****
Content in this podcast in no way constitutes medical or nutritional advice. This episode does not constitute, nor is it intended to be, psychological (or other) advice for those people who have struggled with a serious eating problem or eating disorder in the past or currently.
Dear Listeners, please note that in this episode we share our personal experience with food, foo...
43: The Mailbox: How to Avoid Becoming a Narcissistic Parent
Feb 16, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
Parenting is not easy. It is even harder for those raised by narcissistic parents because that is a particularly toxic way to rear a child.
In this episode, Gemma and Justine answer a mailbox question from a listener brought up by a mother with narcissistic traits. Even though the listener acknowledges that her mother loved her, and did her best, some of what she said and did still impacted her life and mental health. As a...
Duration: 00:50:1442: Dating with an Abandonment Schema: Part 2 - What is your Coping Style?
Feb 09, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
In our last podcast, we spoke about what an abandonment schema might look like generally when dating someone. In this episode, we follow that by taking a more specific look at the different coping styles people tend to use when their abandonment schema gets triggered in a dating situation.
Our schemas get triggered when certain things happen. When triggered, strong emotions arise, and we feel compelled to respond in a certain way to cope. Schema t...
Duration: 00:45:2441: Dating with an Abandonment Schema - Part 1
Feb 02, 2022Send Gemma a message
Welcome to the first episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast for 2022!
When making new year resolutions, most of us tend to think about things we can improve in our lives and the patterns we would like to change. One of those patterns usually relates to relationships. Justine has already had several sessions this year with people who want to break their relationship patterns so that they can finally meet someone emotionally available and have a proper relationship.
Our schemas tend to hinder our relationship r...
Duration: 00:30:28