Cinephobe
By: Zach Harper, Amin Elhassan & Anthony Mayes
Language: en
Categories: Tv, Film, Reviews, Comedy
Welcome to Cinephobe: The Podcast where Zach Harper, Amin Elhassan and Anthony Mayes review movies that are poorly rated on Rotten Tomatoes, and try to ascertain whether or not those movies are accurately poorly rated, or maybe just didn’t get a fair shake. Cinephobe! Wherever you get Podcasts!
Episodes
Top 5 Gerard Butlers
Oct 27, 2025Watch this episode on YouTube
Uh, yeah I think Zach, Amin and Mayes are gonna choose the people they used to hate, but thanks to hundreds of years of Cinephobe they've been won over, like Gerard Butler did to Zach.
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Duration: 00:56:37Cinephobe Episode 288: The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
Oct 23, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes are headed to Japan to live with their deadbeat dad and get introduced to the underground Drift Racing scene by Lil Bow Wow.
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Duration: 02:20:47Cinephobe Ep 287: Retribution
Oct 16, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes can't get out of their seats, or a pressure triggered bomb will explode.
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Amin
Duration: 01:40:25Top 5 Worst Endings
Oct 13, 2025Watch this episode on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes look back on the most infuriating, baffling and ridiculously truncated movie endings in the history of the podcast.
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Duration: 00:48:29Cinephobe Ep 286: Ice Road: Vengeance
Oct 09, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes are Kathmandu drifting down an icy 40% grade during a quest to scatter Gurty's ashes on Mount Everest.
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Duration: 01:53:03Cinephobe Ep 285: Pootie Tang
Oct 02, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes sit down with titan of journalism Bob Costas to discuss Cinephobe's impact on the culture.
So wa-da-tah my damies, sine your pitty on the runny kine.
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Duration: 01:44:14Top 5 Shawn Levys
Sep 29, 2025Watch this episode on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes choose their Shawn Levys, people that they absolutely hate, whether rational or irrational.
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Duration: 00:52:05Cinephobe Ep 284: True Memoirs of an International Assassin
Sep 25, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes publish their TRUE podcast in the NON-FICTION category and it changes their lives forever.
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Duration: 01:49:57Cinephobe Ep 283: War
Sep 18, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes are riding their motorcycles from the Triad district to the Yakuza district in order to recover some valuable thowwbwed statues.
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Duration: 01:53:44Top 5 We Have ___ At Home - Part 2
Sep 15, 2025Watch this episode on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes bring in the king of 7-Eleven himself, Snacky Tuna for more of the off-brand version of the real thing.
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Duration: 00:54:35Cinephobe Ep 282: The Internship
Sep 11, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes are googling google for a job that will allow them to leave their days of selling watches, mattresses and rascal scooters behind them for good.
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Duration: 02:04:22The Cinephobe Glossary
Sep 08, 2025Zach, Amin and Mayes go back in time to explain inside jokes, references and terminology from the first 149 years of Cinephobe, to help listeners clarify where they originated.
If there are any jokes or terms that you feel like we missed and would like more information on, tweet us, email us, or leave a review
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Duration: 02:11:51Cinephobe Ep 281: War of the Worlds
Sep 04, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes are teaming up without leaving their computers to stop alien robots from penetrating and draining the most precious resource on earth: DATA.
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Duration: 01:56:57Top 5 We Have ___ At Home
Sep 01, 2025Watch this episode on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes are saving money on the real thing because they've got the Kirkland brand bootleg back at the crib in the form of a Cinephobe movie.
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Duration: 00:56:51Cinephobe Ep 280: The Shadow
Aug 28, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes are picking loose meats with their purple coke nails to feed their chow, before having a rival opium farmer executed... And that's just the cold open!
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Duration: 02:00:19Cinephobe Ep 279: The Phantom
Aug 21, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes are ready to Slam Evil with The Ghost Who Walks, a jungle folk hero from Bengalla Island.
No one refuses the Phantom!
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... Duration: 01:55:25Top 5 Lawyers
Aug 18, 2025Watch this episode on YouTube
Objection! Zach, Amin and Mayes have betrayed the law by putting the greatest barristers in cinephobe history on retainer.
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Duration: 00:48:19Cinephobe Ep 278: Jurassic Park III
Aug 14, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
No force on earth or heaven could get Zach, Amin and Mayes on that island... except an uncashed check that is certain to bounce.
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Duration: 01:53:44Cinephobe Ep 277: Terminator Salvation
Aug 07, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
In the war against the machines, some believe Zach, Amin and Mayes hold the key to salvation, while others believe they are false prophets.
Only one thing is certain... you better smash that like and subscribe so we can keep podcasting truth to the resistance from Eugene to Bakersfield .
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Duration: 02:05:03Top 5 Vacations
Aug 04, 2025Watch this episode on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes are leavin on a Money Plane, don't know when they'll be back again like Mr. Sunshine-on-my-god-damn-shoulders John Denver to visit the most appealing locations in Cinephobe.
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Duration: 01:07:35Cinephobe Ep 276: Highlander II: The Quickening
Jul 31, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
There can only be one immortal podcaster left standing, so tune in to find out which of Zach, Amin and Mayes survive this episode while the others are left depackitated.
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Duration: 01:59:31Cinephobe Ep 275: Dracula 2000
Jul 24, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
In the year 2000, a very sexy Dracula will return to feast upon the blood of Generation X, wear a floor length duster, discover Mardi Gras and listen to CDs at the Virgin Megastore without buying anything.
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Duration: 01:51:01Top 5 Accountability
Jul 21, 2025Watch this episode on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes go through their past picks, decisions and actions to take accountability in front of each other and the world.
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Duration: 01:23:29Cinephobe Ep 274: Planet of the Apes
Jul 17, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes are a couple of damn, dirty humans determined to prove that you never send a monkey to do a man’s job.
Start chittering now.
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Follo...
Duration: 02:01:47Now That's What I Call Cinephobe! Vol. 1
Jul 10, 2025Zach, Amin and Mayes revisit classic moments from the show's history.
It's a clip show, folks! Produced by Colin Casserd.
0:00 - Ep 106: American Ninja
4:25 - Ep 65: Jiu Jitsu
7:31 - Ep 45: Catwoman
10:41 - Ep 121: The Five Heartbeats
13:32 - Ep 171: Waterboy
14:41 - Ep 26: 6 Underground
15:07 - Ep 117: Cobra
17:17 - Ep 189: MIB 2
18:28 - Ep 185: Hard Rain
19:48 - Ep 107: Eddie
20:38 - Ep 2: Next
30:43 - Ep 40: Along Came Polly
35:26 - Ep 88: Nick Fury: Agent of Shield
37:47 - Ep 155: Supertroopers
40:23 - Ep 110: Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit<...
Top 5 Worst Rentals
Jul 07, 2025Watch this episode on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes reignite the Rental Wars by checking their bank statements for the movies that made them pay the biggest price (mentally & emotionally).
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Duration: 01:10:15Cinephobe Ep 273: Dunston Checks In
Jul 03, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes are going bananas as a highly skilled orangutan thief is on the loose in the Majestic Hotel.
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Duration: 01:54:12Cinephobe Ep 272: Nowhere to Run
Jun 26, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes are wearing suits to go camping in the Valley of the Moon, grilling steaks and drinking whiskey by a pond.
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Duration: 01:46:57Top 5 Mayes' Wedding
Jun 23, 2025Watch this episode on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes debrief the latest Harper & Elhassan Wedding Chronicles, which included a shared notes app to jot down observations.
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Duration: 01:06:08Extended Cold Opens - November 2024 to May 2025
Jun 19, 2025We're dipping back into our cold storage to defrost a pot pourri of extended cold opens from The Good Son in November through Rocky V in May 2025.
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Duration: 01:59:34Cinephobe Ep 271: Stigmata
Jun 12, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes received some rosary beads (hi Brent!) in the mail and began gushing blood. Someone call Doctor Morbius.
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Duration: 01:48:24Top 5 Rehearsals
Jun 09, 2025Watch this episode on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes deepen their Nathan Fielder obsession by taking his various techniques from The Rehearsal and applying it to situations and characters from the Cinephobe universe.
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Duration: 01:00:26Cinephobe Ep 270: Once Bitten
Jun 05, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes discover that being a vampire in the 20th century is a nightmare, because horniness is so rampant in 1980s Los Angeles there's a shortage of virgin blood.
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Duration: 01:53:04Cinephobe Ep 269: Morbius
May 29, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes remix their DNA with a bat and become bat men so they can Morb like they've never Morbed before.
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Subscribe to Cinephobe! Then Rate 5 Stars on Apple or Spotify. Duration: 01:55:56
Top 5 Fights
May 26, 2025Watch this episode on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes chronicle their favorite fracases, brawls, tussles, skirmishes, melees and scuffles, from hand to hand combat all the way to the existential battles that face us all.
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Duration: 00:51:47Cinephobe Ep 268: My Super Ex-Girlfriend
May 22, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes dump a super broad for being too clingy while learning that sexual harassment is a two way street.
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Duration: 01:45:23Cinephobe Ep 267: Kraven the Hunter
May 15, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes were made to do this.
They're the greatest bad movie podcasters on the planet. It's undeniable.
So no. Why would we want to stop?
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Duration: 01:52:06Top 5 Dream Sequels
May 12, 2025Watch this episode on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes have done a LOT of sequels, often before the original movie gets consumed. However, there are plenty of movies that left a lot of meat on the bone, or characters that needed to be further explored and developed. Here are our Movies We Wish Had A Sequel.
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Duration: 01:02:55Rule of Two - Andor Eps 7,8 & 9
May 09, 2025Darth Amin and Darth Cornpuzzle survive the Ghorman Massacre, although Amin doubles back to chase some broad he hooked up with, while Mayes escapes to the Senate so he can escort Mon Mothma out after delivering the most important speech in the history of the Galaxy.
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Duration: 01:22:21Cinephobe Unlocked: Half Baked
May 08, 2025Zach, Amin and Mayes' only friend is abba zabba as they blaze through the 1998 Dave Chappelle classic Half Baked. You ever suck a dick for weed? I didn't think so, so break out Billy Bong Thornton, stock up on munchies and call up Mr. Nice Guy, this podcast will have you floating in no time.
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Duration: 01:39:30Rule of Two - Andor Eps 4,5 & 6
May 02, 2025Darth Amin and Darth Cornpuzzle slick back their hair real good and head to Ghorman as fashion designers undercover to aid the Ghorman Front.
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Duration: 01:03:20Cinephobe Ep 266: Rocky V
May 01, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes have taken so many blows to the head that this whole episode might have been a hallucination. Home Team.
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Duration: 01:52:45Rule of Two - Andor Season 2
Apr 30, 2025Darth Amin and Darth Cornpuzzle are temporarily setting up shop here on the Cinephobe feed to cover Andor Season Two. This episode covers last week's episodes, and we will return tomorrow to hit the next three pack.
We are back in Tony Gilroy's Star Wars for adults, and the show hasn't missed a beat.
Cassian Andor attempts to steal a Tie Avenger and ends up waylaid with the Maya Pei Brigade.
Dedra gets invited to Director Krennic's exclusive conference and hosts her new boyfriend Syril's mother for dinner.
The Ferrix refugees...
Duration: 01:05:53Top 5 Grifters
Apr 28, 2025Watch this episode on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes recall the characters that have swindled, conned, hoodwinked, bamboozled, beguiled and bilked them over the centuries.
Production note: The soundboard was partially muted this week, so you might have to use your imagination for some of the usual sound effects. When in doubt, assume it was gonged.
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Duration: 01:06:21Cinephobe Ep 265: The Quest
Apr 24, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
Petty podcasters Zach, Amin and Mayes take you on an epic journey from the slums of New York City in the 1920s, all the way across the sea to Muay Thai Island, then up mountains to the Lost City in Tibet.
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Duration: 01:54:51Cinephobe Ep 264: Samurai Cop
Apr 17, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes are not an established podcast yet, should make friends with all the podcasts, but that won't stop them from keeping it warm and ready.
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<... Duration: 01:50:44Top 5 Crashmores
Apr 14, 2025Watch this episode on YouTube
Even if Zach, Amin and Mayes do a bad job, they've got to give us that other two mil.
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Duration: 01:00:39Cinephobe Ep 263: American Ninja 2: The Confrontation
Apr 10, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes own Blackbeard Island and made their money big time... in podcasts.
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Duration: 01:49:48Cinephobe Ep 262: Angel Has Fallen
Apr 03, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes have Fallen and they can't get up.
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Duration: 01:48:32Top 5 Worst Parents
Mar 31, 2025Watch this episode on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes have SERIOUS mommy and daddy issues.
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Duration: 01:10:36Cinephobe Ep 261: Angels in the Outfield
Mar 27, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes pray that the Angels win the pennant so they can have a family again.
Hey... it could happen.
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Duration: 01:48:38Cinephobe Ep 260: Richie Rich
Mar 20, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes have never fired anyone from Cinephobe, and are pleased to announce they've increased their nut proportion by 15%.
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Duration: 01:54:52Top 5 Siblings
Mar 17, 2025Watch this episode on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes take very different routes to compile their siblings lists.
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Duration: 01:01:34Cinephobe Ep 259: Shaft
Mar 13, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes are quitting the New York Podcasting Department to record Cinephobe their own way. No lawyers, no politics, no rules, no regulations.
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Duration: 01:53:51Cinephobe Ep 258: Nothing But Trouble
Mar 06, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes get arrested for running a stop sign on Old Coke Road in rural Valkenvania, where they get detained by a delusional, ancient, disgusting, decrepit old Judge that rules his tiny township with an iron gavel.
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Duration: 01:47:46Top 5 Remakes
Mar 03, 2025Watch this episode on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes choose which movies they would remake, whether it's a complete teardown to the studs, or some slight tweaks to casting or writing.
We're looking past the red flags to find the potential, taking the glasses off these movies like She's All That (41%, damn).
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Duration: 01:10:46Cinephobe Ep 257: Out For Justice
Feb 27, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes always wanted to be wise guys, whoda ever thought they'd become podcasters, eh?
They know the neighborhood better than anybody else, and that's why they gotta record this episode their way.
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Duration: 01:50:39Cinephobe Ep 256: Vantage Point
Feb 20, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes are rewinding the pod back to the beginning every fifteen minutes to see if they can figure out who shot the president from a different perspective.
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Duration: 01:42:20Top 5 Athletes
Feb 17, 2025Watch this episode on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes are holding their very own Cinephobe combine, plumbing the depths of 250 plus movies to find the best kinetic movers, most powerful physiques, fastest runners and most explosive leapers.
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<... Duration: 01:10:18Cinephobe Unlocked: Valentine's Day
Feb 13, 2025Zach, Amin and Mayes are each other's valentines in this romantic episode for all your lovers out there.
Garry Marshall called everyone he knew in Hollywood and got them all to appear in 1/10th of a movie, resulting in a sum of parts far lesser than the individuals.
Whether you proposed on Valentine's Day, have haggled with a florist to get a dozen roses for $13, or thrown a party to celebrate how much you hate the holiday, this podcast is for you.
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Duration: 02:14:14Cinephobe Ep 255: From Paris With Love
Feb 06, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes are picking up their new podcasting partner from the airport, he's being detained by customs for bringing in too many Rattlesnake energy drink cans.
John Travolta returns to Cinephobe after a 100+ episode absence with a shaved head, jet black goatee and enough cocaine to fill the Seine.
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Duration: 01:49:19Top 5 Movie Years
Feb 03, 2025Watch this episode on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes come up with the years that have yielded the greatest bounty of Cinephobe movies, including a year that is so decorated it might be inducted into the Hall of Fame and retired forever.
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Duration: 00:55:24Cinephobe Ep 254: Hard To Kill
Jan 30, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes were Marked For Death, but now they're even more Harder To Kill after coming out of a seven year coma, banging Kelly LeBrock and running up a hill with their arms flailing about. You can take that to the bank.
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Duration: 01:46:12Cinephobe Ep 253: London Has Fallen
Jan 23, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes are headed to London for a high profile funeral, making them sitting ducks for someone trying to wipe out all of Cinephobe in one fell swoop.
Those better be comfortable shoes.
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Duration: 01:47:00Top 5 Shapeshifts
Jan 20, 2025Watch this episode on YouTube
Fresh off of Gryla's shapeshifting shenanigans in Red One, Zach Amin and Mayes come up with the people or things in Cinephobe they would most like to turn into.
Plus, a long awaited update to the sound board.
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Duration: 01:19:00Cinephobe Ep 252: Red One
Jan 16, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes are a couple of Level 4 Naughty Listers who have drawn the ire of Santa's Enforcement Logistics and Fortification squad.
Will they be able to make a complete reversal in character and morality in time to save Christmas?
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Duration: 01:46:41Cinephobe Ep 251: The Boondock Saints
Jan 09, 2025Watch this week's Look At This Photograph on YouTube
And shepherds we shall be.
For Thee, my Lord, for Thee.
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand.
That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command.
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee.
And teeming with Cinephobes shall it ever be.
In Nomine Patris, et Fili, et Spiritus Sancti.
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Duration: 01:59:41Top 5 Movie Crossovers
Jan 06, 2025Watch this episode on YouTube
Zach, Amin and Mayes are turning Cinephobe classics into a combination, replacing characters or plot points from one movie with another.
It's a little bit Tango & Cash, it's definitely a little bit D2 The Mighty Ducks. It's kind of a cosmic gumbo. It almost moves to the beat of jazz.
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Duration: 01:12:40Cinephobe Ep 250: Marked for Death (with Roy Bellamy)
Jan 02, 2025Zach, Amin, Mayes and Roy abruptly retired from podcasting after a deal gone bad, but they get forced back into action when trouble comes tapping on their shoulder in the form of a Jamaican gang leader with blue contacts named Screwface.
Be sure to check out our new video segment for Look At This Photograph on the Cinephobe YouTube
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Duration: 01:57:26Extended Cold Opens - January to April 2024
Dec 26, 2024We're closing out 2024 with a time capsule, turning back the clock to the extended cold opens from D2 The Mighty Ducks in January through the Sudden Death double header in April.
Remember Noodle? When Steamboat Willie entered the public domain? Skippy the Bush Kangaroo? The creation of the Unhoused Gentleman?
It's been quite a year, thanks for listening along with us as we catalog the dregs of Hollywood.
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Duration: 02:21:19Top 5 Golden Dumpsters of 2024
Dec 23, 2024Zach, Amin and Mayes conclude their award season by looking back at the most astonishing and jaw dropping Golden Dumpsters of 2024. From the quack attack kicking off Amin's canonization campaign through the epic Zach-Mayes pick swap and return to Gotham, we unveil our favorite moments of the year.
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Duration: 00:46:32Cinephobe Ep 249: Feliz NaviDAD
Dec 19, 2024Zach, Amin and Mayes are double dipping on Hallmark Christmas movies like Two Scoops McGee plunging an ice cream cone into hot fudge (ope!).
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Duration: 01:49:57Cinephobe Mailbag IV: Dr. Blobbo and Mr. Medley
Dec 17, 2024Zach, Amin and Mayes answer listener questions live on YouTube to help close out 2024.
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Cinephobe Ep 248: Married by Christmas
Dec 12, 2024Whichever of Zach, Amin or Mayes gets hitched first becomes CEO of Cinephobe, complete with unlimited access to the private jet, thanks to the traditional values of a deceased Nana.
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<... Duration: 01:54:52Top 5 Ass Ons of 2024
Dec 09, 2024Zach, Amin and Mayes continue their award season by looking back at the most astonishing and jaw dropping performances of 2024 (but in a bad way). From the quack attack kicking off Amin's canonization campaign through the epic Zach-Mayes pick swap and return to Gotham, we unveil our least favorite thespians of the year.
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Duration: 00:54:23Cinephobe Ep 247: Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
Dec 05, 2024Zach, Amin and Mayes are spending another Christmas in the trenches, separated from their family once again and racking up countless attempted murder charges against those relentless Wet Bandits.
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Duration: 02:22:09Cinephobe Ep 246: The Good Son
Nov 28, 2024Zach, Amin and Mayes are headed out back to their murder shed to hang with Mr. Highway and shoot their homemade crossbow.
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<... Duration: 01:57:23Top 5 Ass Offs of 2024
Nov 25, 2024Believe it or not, another year is drawing to a close, so it's time for Zach, Amin and Mayes to kick off their award season by looking back at the most astonishing and jaw dropping performances of 2024. From the quack attack kicking off Amin's canonization campaign through the epic Zach-Mayes pick swap and return to Gotham, we unveil our favorite thespians of the year.
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Duration: 00:51:49Cinephobe Ep 245: Batman Forever
Nov 21, 2024It's been 170 Cinephobe years since Zach, Amin & Mayes last visited Gotham City, but the time has come to complete the Schumacher double feature.
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Duration: 02:34:54Cinephobe Ep 244: The Number 23
Nov 14, 2024Zach, Amin and Mayes dive headfirst into a world of obsession, paranoia and the esoteric procession of the number 23.
Zach Harper
26 + 1 + 3 + 8 = 38 | 8 + 1 + 18 + 16 + 5 + 18 = 66 |
Amin Elhassan
1+ 13 + 9 + 14 = 37 | 5 + 12 + 8 + 1 + 19 + 19 + 1 + 14 = 65 |
Anthony Mayes
1 + 14 + 20 + 8 + 15 + 14 + 25 = 97 | 13 + 1 + 25 + 5 + 19 = 63 |
3 + 8 + 6 + 6 + 3 + 7 + 6 + 5 + 9 + 7 + 6 + 3 = 69 / 3 = 23!!
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<... Duration: 02:03:50Top 5 Movie Titles
Nov 11, 2024Have you ever wanted to see a movie based on the title alone?
Zach, Amin and Mayes try to strip down previous Cinephobes of all context, stars, plot and taglines, focusing on the word or words that sold a movie all by themselves.
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Duration: 01:14:40Cinephobe Ep 243: Final Destination
Nov 07, 2024After taking tandem dumps at the airport, Zach, Amin and Mayes are headed to Paris!
Unfortunately, Death's Sadistic Design gets in the way and they are forced to retreat to a cabin in the woods and survive off of cat food.
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Duration: 02:21:07Cinephobe Ep 242: The Glimmer Man
Oct 31, 2024Zach, Amin and Mayes are detectives at the rainiest precinct in all of Los Angeles, hot on the trail of a serial killer called the Family Man.
Or are they the Glimmermen, former CIA operatives with a preternatural ability to identify Russians, hot on the trail of their former handler?
No, actually they're Steven Seagal, showing up in his own wardrobe, 2 hours late, after restocking on powdered deer penis in Chinatown.
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Duration: 02:19:14Top 5 Worst Jobs
Oct 28, 2024It's a dirty job coming up with the worst forms of employment in Cinephobe, and the somebodies that have to do it are Zach, Amin and Mayes.
Whether they don't make money, have bad benefits, don't offer upward mobility or straight up aren't real jobs, the only thing we know for sure is you don't want them.
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Duration: 01:15:03Cinephobe Ep 241: Volcano
Oct 24, 2024Zach, Amin and Mayes are double dipping on 1997 Volcano movies as lava flows out of the La Brea Tar Pits and Tommy Lee Jones is given the power to command and control all the resources of Los Angeles.
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Duration: 02:20:59Cinephobe Ep 240: Dante's Peak - Part 2 (with Mike Ryan)
Oct 17, 2024Zach, Amin, Mayes and Mike are putting the pod on alert!
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Duration: 01:29:51Top 5 Worst Villains
Oct 14, 2024Zach, Amin and Mayes are putting together a team, a team of villains and antagonists that are the worst at what they do.
They are annoying, display misguided business practices and find themselves outwitted and overmatched by heroes that they should wipe the floor with.
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Duration: 01:06:44Cinephobe Ep 240: Dante's Peak - Part 1 (with Mike Ryan)
Oct 10, 2024Zach, Amin, Mayes and Mike recommend you put the pod on alert.
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Duration: 01:33:28Cinephobe Unlocked: Delta Farce
Oct 03, 2024Zach Amin and Mayes are deployed to Fallujah but end up in Mexico for this memorial day episode unlocked from the Patreon.
Grab some tacos and cervezas, shove your arm into a cannon and pick out your favorite karaoke song... it's time to GIT R DONE.
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Duration: 01:31:27Top 5 Dream Tony Medleys
Sep 30, 2024In the second ever episode of Cinephobe (Next), Zach, Amin and Mayes discovered the Mensa member and extremely opinionated author slash movie critic H. Anthony Medley.
Unfortunately, despite reviewing hundreds of films since 2002, there are plenty of movies we've done that Tony has not reviewed.
In this CT5, we compile the movies that we wish Tony had seen and reviewed, speculating on what we think we would have said and which films would have inspired classic scrutiny from our Toluca Lake Legend.
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Duration: 00:59:52Cinephobe Ep 239: Double Team
Sep 26, 2024Zach, Amin and Mayes don't play with the bad boys anymore as they track down that scallywag Stavros in their iridium lensed Oakley shades.
Offense gets the glory - But defense wins the game!
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Duration: 02:13:36Cinephobe Ep 238: Jack Reacher: Never Go Back
Sep 19, 2024Zach, Amin and Mayes are a couple of unhoused ex-podcasters who love nothing more than hitchhiking across the country from seedy motel to seedy motel.
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Duration: 02:09:20Top 5 Eurotrip Episodes
Sep 16, 2024Zach, Amin and Mayes make a playlist of the best Cinephobe episodes to listen to while you're traveling across Europe.
In fact, Zach might be listening to one of these episodes right this instant, as he travels across Europe.
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Duration: 01:03:06Cinephobe Ep 237: X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Sep 12, 2024Zach, Amin and Mayes are bonding adamantium to their skeletons to withstand the onslaught of Weapon Xposition in this movie.
In order to make this podcast indestructible, first we're going to have to do destroy it.
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Duration: 02:13:40Cinephobe Mailbag: Now You Three Me
Sep 09, 2024Amin and Mayes answer listener questions live on YouTube.
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Duration: 01:37:31Cinephobe Ep 236: The Karate Kid Part III
Sep 05, 2024Zach, Amin and Mayes are putting all their plutonium deals aside to concentrate on opening a chain of Cobra Kai dojos all over the valley.
For the next few weeks, our business is strictly revenge.
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Duration: 02:24:33Top 5 Sean Astins - Part 2
Sep 02, 2024Much like Sean Astin himself, Zach, Amin and Mayes bit off more than they could chew with their first CT5.
So now they are back to dig up seven more of their most unbelievable moments in Cinephobe history, the elements of the plot that took it too far, shattering any suspended disbelief that might have existed.
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Duration: 00:56:25Cinephobe Ep 235: Dirty Work
Aug 29, 2024Zach, Amin and Mayes are inventing the 'Revenge For Hire' business to save their impotent, whore mongering father with a heart transplant from a degenerate gambling doctor.
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Duration: 02:00:22Cinephobe Ep 234: The Pest
Aug 22, 2024Zach, Amin and Mayes are the most ridicalickaliss schemingest keenest scam artists being hunteded by Germans on a private island for fifty thousand dollars.
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Duration: 02:10:05Top 5 Disrespectful Heroes
Aug 19, 2024Zach, Amin and Mayes try to determine what makes a character heroic while also exhibiting clear signs of contempt and disdain for decorum.
They might do good things, but they do them the wrong way.
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Duration: 01:02:47