Husband Material

What’s next for Husband Material? In this episode, you’ll hear the exciting new vision for how we want to help the next generation of young men and couples change their brains, heal their hearts, and save their relationships. 

Here’s how you can be part of it:

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

How can technology help you connect, heal, and outgrow porn? In this episode, Chandler Rogers tells his story of finding freedom through connection with others (even online) and shares what he has learned from overseeing hundreds of online groups. You'll find out what you're missing out on if you track your sobriety without tracking your recovery—and what healthy, shame-free accountability looks like.

Chandler Rogers is the CEO and co-founder of Relay, a group-based program to break free from the unhealthy system of addiction and find lasting freedom.

How do you see yourself? Do you ever feel like a villain, like everything is your fault? Do you ever feel like a victim, overwhelmed and powerless to change your life? Do you ever feel like a hero, as if you have to succeed because the whole world is depending on you? Today, we’re talking about how to see yourself accurately and understand yourself better through three lenses: your villain story, your victim story, and your hero story. These categories are inspired by “The Karpman Drama Triangle” by Dr. Stephen B. Karpman. The original drama triangle describes common patter...

What exactly is arousal? Is it more than just sexual? In this episode, you'll learn the four types of arousal (uppers, downers, all-arounders, and deprivation) and how we use addiction to avoid intimacy ("into messy"). Along the way, you'll also find out why recovery is not a "don't touch your penis" program and how the skill of "tension holding" can transform your relationships. Great conversation!

Chris Chandler (LMHC, LPCC, EMDR, CSAT-S) is a licensed therapist, coach, and Clinical Advisor at Relay Health. He is also the founder of Christian Recovery Groups LLC, a national program helping men...

In this episode, Doug and Drew explain their powerful, unique approach to psychodrama: DIRECT. You'll learn how this powerful modality can help you experience deeper healing and freedom from porn.

D.I.R.E.C.T. = Dynamic, Intuitive, Redemptive, Embodied, Communal Transformation.

Come experience D.I.R.E.C.T. at a Husband Material Healing Weekend!  See all upcoming healing weekends and retreats at husbandmaterial.com/retreat

January Healing Weekend in Florida: 4 spots left. Apply here.

March Healing Weekend in Utah : FULL.

Support the show

Take t...

Why do adult men need sex education? What sexual changes do men's bodies go through as we get older? In this episode, Dr. Doug Carpenter explains what men need to know about low testosterone, urinary flow, sperm production, and more. You'll learn about the importance of prostate exams, the truth about penis size, the difference between sex in porn vs. sex in marriage, and other common misconceptions men have about sex.

Join us for sex education in person at the next Husband Material Retreat! husbandmaterial.com/retreat

Dr. Doug Carpenter is a clinical psychologist, author...

When you're triggered or tempted to watch porn, you cannot not regulate. What you can do is choose how you will regulate. In this episode, you'll learn ten powerful grounding techniques to regulate your brain and body without porn:

Support the show<...

How does sex trafficking affect boys and men (not just girls and women) and what does healing look like? Hear Mike Chapman's incredible story. This episode is a taken from Mike's recent presentation, "Family-Controlled Sex Trafficking of Young Boys: One Survivor's Healing Journey" at the International Human Trafficking & Social Justice Conference.

Mike Chapman is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and family-controlled sex trafficking, and a survivor of sexual assault by clergy as a young adult. In his spiritual journey to recovery, Mike has had to battle anger, PTSD, anxiety, codependency, and addictive behaviors, including porn addiction...

How does living in a drugified world affect our brains, and what can we about it? Renowned psychiatrist Anna Lembke vulnerably shares her own story of addiction to romance novels and erotica, how digital media hijacks our brains, and what freedom practically looks like. Along the way, you'll learn the meaning of dopamine fasting, self-binding strategies, and prosocial shame. Take notes!

Dr. Anna Lembke is professor of psychiatry at Stanford University School of Medicine and chief of the Stanford Addiction Medicine Dual Diagnosis Clinic. A clinician scholar, she has published more than a hundred peer-reviewed papers, book...

Have you ever wondered if certain sexual behaviors are okay? How do you decide what to believe and how to behave? In this episode, you'll learn 3 foundational principles of sexual ethics: integrity, intimacy, and impact.

Looking for a safe place to talk about sensitive topics?
Ask your questions in the Husband Material Community!

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

Why do we sexualize our emotions, and how can we process our emotions without sexualizing them? In this episode, Jonathan Hernandez answers these questions in English. Check out the Spanish version of this episode here.

Jonathan Hernandez is a newly Certified Husband Material Coach with over a year of experience as a Certified Connection Codes Coach. He completed three years at Bethel’s School of Supernatural Ministry and is passionate about helping couples build deeper connection and guiding men into healthy and fulfilling sexuality.

Connect with Jonathan here:
rueda.jonnythecoach.com/english

Su...

¿Por qué sexualizamos nuestras emociones y cómo podemos procesarlas sin sexualizarlas? Jonathan Hernández responde a estas preguntas en el primer episodio de Husband Material en Español. Aquí tienes la versión en inglés: https://podcast.husbandmaterial.com/713910/episodes/17963054-how-to-process-sexualized-emotions-with-jonathan-hernandez

Jonathan Hernández es nuevo coach de Husband Material. Cuenta con más de un año de experiencia como coach certificado de Connection Codes. Estudió tres años en la Escuela de Ministerio Sobrenatural de Bethel y tiene una gran pasión por ayudar a las parejas a vivir más conectadas y a los hombres a...

What is connection? What causes disconnection? How can we reconnect? Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill explain the core components of relational connection—especially for couples.

Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill are the founders of Connection Codes, a life-changing framework that has helped thousands of couples and families around the world experience deeper intimacy, safety, and joy. Married for over four decades, Glenn and Phyllis know firsthand what it’s like to feel disconnected and stuck in painful cycles. Their own struggles led Glenn to return to school, earning a doctorate in Clinical Sexology and a master’s in Mar...

Have you ever felt like you're too much? In Mark 6:30-56, we see that nothing and no one is too much for Jesus. This sermon was originally preached on Sunday, September 7, 2025 at the Husband Material Retreat in Colorado.

Learn more about our 2026 retreats here.

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

Thanks for listening!

How can physical fitness help you find lasting freedom from porn? Frank Rich explains how rebuilding your body accelerates recovery—especially rebuilding your beliefs about yourself. Along the way, you'll learn the importance of gut health and a simple plan you can use to start training today.

Frank Rich is a renowned bodybuilder, entrepreneur, men’s health coach, and host of The Super Human Life Podcast. After struggling for years with addiction, depression, and anxiety, Frank rebuilt his life through faith and fitness. Now, he’s helping other men do the same. Learn more at reb...

Male sexually betrayed partners are often unseen, overlooked, and underresourced. Hear Ben Wilson's story of being the betrayed and the betrayer in his marriage. 

Ben is a Licensed Professional Counselor with 25+ years of experience. He is trained in EMDR for trauma and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couple’s counseling. Ben co-authored Betrayed and Betrayer: Rescuing Your Marriage After The Affair out of his own broken and restored marriage. Learn more about intensive counseling with Ben at restoringthesoul.com.

Read Ben's free blog with 444 posts on healing infidelity here.

If you want lasting freedom from porn, consider reading one of these 10 books: 

Dr. Eddie Capparucci interviews Drew Boa about his new book, Outgrow Porn: Find Lasting Freedom Without Fighting an Exhausting Battle—A Man's Guide to Healing. You'll learn the importance of understanding sexual fantasies, processing emotions, "surfing" sexual urges, and healing the inner child. 

Outgrow Porn is available now!

Free resources for you:

How did Marco Casanova go from addiction to gay porn while studying to be a Catholic priest to a life of chastity, healing, marriage, and fatherhood? This is a great story. Along the way, you'll get a beautiful introduction to Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body—particularly what Marco has learned about the dignity of women and what it means to be a man.

Marco Casanova, M.Div., serves as Associate Director of Desert Stream Ministries. His journey with the Living Waters program began during his seminary years, when he sought healing from his own ex...

What is sex tech? How is artificial intelligence (AI) changing the way people experience porn? Dr. Marianne Brandon explains how emerging technology is rapidly rewriting the script of how humans approach sex and relationships. You'll hear all about the dangers and opportunities (mostly dangers) of these trends and why imperfect human intimacy still irreplaceable. Everyone should hear this episode!

Dr. Marianne Brandon is a clinical psychologist, diplomat in sex therapy, author, and lecturer. She writes a popular Psychology Today blog, The Future of Intimacy, and co-hosts a podcast with her urologist husband, The Sex...

What is a coregasm/abgasm? How is it possible to have one? In this episode, you'll learn how I discovered coregasms, 4 ab exercises that can lead to a coregasm, and why I believe coregasms can help men outgrow porn.

For visual examples of the 4 exercises, watch the video for this episode here.

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

How does your story shape your sexual arousal template? Therapist Rick Manabat shares eye-opening examples of how specific sexual fantasies and porn preferences are subconsciously shaped by our stories. This is truly mind-blowing!

Rick Manabat is the owner and founder of Pneuma Therapeutic Services, with locations in Chicago and Colorado Springs. He has a Master's in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Trinity International University. Rick is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) who is also trained in EMDR. He has been married to his best friend for almost 13 years, and they have three children.  Duration: 00:33:58

What parts of yourself do you hide, repress, or deny? Whatever is in your "shadow" can subconsciously drive everything you do. Roy Wooten unpacks the concept of the shadow, how it works, and what his healing journey has looked like—from not feeling lovable as a boy, to surviving sexual abuse, to breaking free through embodied healing experiences at The Crucible Project.

Roy Wooten serves as the Executive Director of The Crucible Project. With decades of experience as a counselor and ministry leader, Roy is deeply committed to personal transformation, relational health, and spiritual growth. He is be...

In this powerful live demo, John Kilmer guides Drew Boa in parts work focused on Drew's addiction to screens. This episode is an example of Manly Monday, one of the weekly HMA Coaching Calls. Learn more and join HMA this week only at joinHMA.com.

John Kilmer is a Mental Health Life Coach, Occupational Therapist, and Certified Husband Material Coach. He's a grateful follower of Jesus who is passionate about men's inner healing work. Learn more about John at relaxedcaregiver.com.

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

What is shame? How does evil use shame against us, and what does healing look like? Dr. Curt Thompson explores shame through the lens of Scripture, neuroscience, and spiritual formation in community. Stay until the end to hear how Jesus meets us in our shame. What a beautiful conversation!

Dr. Curt Thompson is a compassionate psychiatrist who weaves together an understanding of interpersonal neurobiology (IPNB) and a Christian view of what it means to be human. Through Curt's workshops, books, private clinical practice, and other platforms, he helps people fully experience our deepest longing: to be known...

Are you afraid that processing your sexual fantasies might lead to a relapse? Do you have concerns based on your understanding of the Bible? Does your wife have concerns? In this episode, you'll hear three reasons why processing your sexual fantasies can feel threatening, and what it looks like to do this work safely.

Register now for the Sexual Fantasy Workshop: HMA In A Day (Saturday, July 12) at husbandmaterial.com/workshop

Examples of safely processing sexual fantasies:

Do you find yourself more susceptible to sexual temptation while traveling? Jake Kastleman helps you prepare to for the challenges of trips, vacations, and other disruptions to your daily routine—especially during the summer. You'll get tips on setting healthy expectations, creating structure while letting go of perfectionism, and preventing relapse.

Jake Kastleman is a porn addiction recovery coach and the founder of No More Desire. He holds a degree in Psychology from Utah Valley University. Now over 10 years sober from porn, Jake coaches men one-on-one across the world using a multi-dimensional approach rooted in...

When one person has a history of same-sex attraction and another has a history of relying on porn, how is a Christ-centered marriage possible? Christy and Mark Summers tell their incredible story, both individually and as a couple.

Christy and Mark Summers are the co-founders of Redeemed Seasons Ministries, where they care for and support Christian men and women seeking healing and wholeness through Jesus in their relationships, their identity, and their sexuality. Christy and Mark offer one-on-one and couple-to-couple soul care and spiritual direction. They also facilitate support groups for family and friends of LGBTQ-identified loved...

Do you feel confused or overwhelmed by trying to understand unwanted sexual attraction from a Christian perspective? In this episode, you'll hear the strengths and limitations of Side A, Side B, Side X, Side Y—and a new perspective on unwanted sexual attraction: the Sexual Development Model (SDM).

Download the Sexual Development Model chart at https://husbandmaterial.com/sdm

Referenced in this episode:

What is breathwork and how can it help you outgrow porn? Burke Atkerson masterfully explains the value of breathwork by drawing from Christian spirituality, neuroscience, and powerful personal experiences.  If you stay until the end, you'll learn an extremely effective breathing technique called the physiological sigh. I loved this episode and I know you will, too.

Burke Atkerson is the founder of Fire Nights and Men Fully Alive. He is an author, coach, and breathwork instructor—as well as a recovering addict, a failed missionary, and an undeserving husband and a grateful father of six.

Buy...

In this episode, Burke Atkerson tells his story. You'll hear how he sexualized the need to be seen, safe, and soothed—and nearly burned down his marriage. In the ashes, Burke finally found the community that he didn't realize he needed. Fire Nights is his response to the loneliness epidemic plaguing men.

Burke Atkerson is the founder of Fire Nights and Men Fully Alive. He is an author, coach, and breathwork instructor—as well as a recovering addict, a failed missionary, and an undeserving husband and a grateful father of six.

Buy Burke's book, Fire Nigh...

Learn twenty ways running or walking can help you outgrow porn. I’m super passionate about this!

Join Husband Material on Strava for encouragement and motivation to exercise: https://strava.app.link/Se2l3eYhuTb

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

Thanks for listening!

What does it mean to objectify yourself? Sam Jolman explains objectification, why and how we objectify ourselves, and what healing and repentance can look like. 

Sam Jolman (MA, LPC) is a trauma therapist with over twenty years of experience specializing in men’s issues and sexual trauma recovery. His writing flows out of this unique opportunity to help people know and heal their stories, and find greater sexual wholeness and aliveness. He received his master’s in counseling from Reformed Theological Seminary and was further trained in Narrative Focused Trauma Care through the Allender Center at The Seatt...

What is problematic sexual behavior (PSB)? Bill Herring, creator of the PSB Framework, explains the history behind this important concept—and how it can help men outgrowing porn.

Bill Herring (LCSW, CSAT) is a psychotherapist who has influenced the development of sex addiction theory and practice over the past 30 years. In 2019, Bill received the annual "Carnes Award" from the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH) for his overall contributions to the field of problematic sexual behavior.

Read Bill's summary of PSB: https://www.billherring.com/problematic-sexual-behavior-framework-summary

Watch Bill's 11-minute video: https://yo...

What is enmeshment? How and why does mother enmeshment set men up to struggle with porn? In this episode, you'll learn ten sexual symptoms of enmeshment and how to outgrow it.

Resources mentioned in this episode (including paid links):

Want...

Hear Ken Freire's story of healing from childhood sexual abuse, achieving lasting freedom from porn, and finding joy and purpose in Christ.

Ken Freire owns Scriptures.blog and hosts the Shame(less) Podcast. Ken has been helping Christian men break free from addiction and reclaim their purpose for the last 15 years. Through his own journey of overcoming abuse, shame, and embracing God’s grace, he aims to equip others with biblical wisdom and practical tools for lasting transformation. He's been married for 13 years and has 4 beautiful children. Ken has a Master’s in Divinity from Regent Univ...

What determines marital satisfaction more than sex or money? What if "compromise" actually makes things worse? How do you create a marriage you love? Sheila Wray Gregoire unpacks the results of her latest research with thousands of married couples, calling out harmful evangelical teachings and sharing a surprising new data on what it takes to build the marriage you want.

Buy Sheila's new book: The Marriage You Want: Moving beyond Stereotypes for a Relationship Built on Scripture, New Data, and Emotional Health

Sheila Wray Gregoire is the face behind BareMarriage.com as well
as...

What's your plan for outgrowing porn? The Five Circles tool will help you define what freedom looks like, why it matters, and how to set yourself up for success.

Download the Five Circles Of Freedom worksheet at husbandmaterial.com/freedom 

Mentioned in this episode:

Support the show

Take t...

How can men protect women instead of complying with sexism and abuse? Dr. Andrew Bauman shares the results of his research with over 2,800 Christian women, and what men need to hear in order to advocate for change in our churches and communities.

Dr. Andrew J. Bauman is the founder and director of the Christian Counseling Center: For Sexual Health & Trauma (CCC) and has served as a mental health counselor. Also formerly a pastor, Andrew now works with men and women to bring healing and wholeness to their sexual and spiritual lives.

Buy Andrew's books (paid...

Am I abusive? How can I acknowledge the truth without beating myself up? What makes a good and safe man? Dr. Andrew Bauman explains two ways to be abusive, the difference between humility and self-hatred, and how to express clean anger and fight fair.

Dr. Andrew J. Bauman is the founder and director of the Christian Counseling Center: For Sexual Health & Trauma (CCC) and has served as a mental health counselor. Also formerly a pastor, Andrew now works with men and women to bring healing and wholeness to their sexual and spiritual lives.

Buy Andrew's...

When I watch porn, when I relapse, when I wander, when I make mistakes... in the middle of my sin, how does God really feel about me?

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Here are a few of the Bible passages we talked about:

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

What are the building blocks of a healthy relationship? In this episode, Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith reveal the "Intimacy Pyramid" of what is required for trust and intimacy—especially for couples healing from sexual betrayal. Get wisdom from two people who rebuilt their marriage after porn almost destroyed it.

Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith are clinicians, speakers, and authors of the book Building True Intimacy: Creating a Connection that Stands the Test of Time (paid link). They have over 20 years of combined experience in counseling, coaching, and guiding couples toward healing and transformation. Their mission is...

Why do I feel so disconnected from other people...and myself? In this episode, Dr. Eddie Capparucci unpacks the reasons why many men struggle to emotionally connect. You'll learn about the talker, the fixer, the thinker, the nice guy, "Mr. Right," the runner, the distractor, and the flopper.

Mark your calendar for Drew and Eddie's upcoming workshop:

Emotional Connection Workshop For Men

Friday April 11, 2025 (replays available)

Learn more and register now here.

https://drew-boa.mykajabi.com/workshop

Related resources...

When did you first hear the word "sex" or "porn" or "masturbation"? The first time you ever hear a word has a disproportionate impact. This is called the power of first mention, and it is an extremely important principle for sex education.

Related resources and episodes: 

Most of us were never taught how to be vulnerable when we’re sexually struggling. In this episode, Henry Brown shares a simple framework called “scratches, scabs, and scars” to help you decide what to share, when to share, how much to share, and who to trust. 

Henry Brown is the Director Of Operations & Support at Husband Material. He is nationally certified as a Life Coach, Recovery Coach, and Sex Addiction Coach. Henry is also a Certified Husband Material Coach. Learn more at henrybrown.net

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

What is narcissistic personality disorder, and how does it interact with porn and sex addiction? For someone with NPD or narcissistic traits, what does healing and growth look like?

Dr. Alexandra Repke (CSAT, EMDR, C-PD) is a Christian psychologist who typically work with successful professionals facing challenges in their relationships or careers, often stemming from issues related to addiction, personality, or trauma. She is a lifelong learner, committed to understanding the complexities of mental health and advocating for practical, impactful solutions.

Learn more at repkepsychologicalservices.com

Books mentioned (these are paid links):

What if Every Man’s Battle is wrong? In this episode, I share how I recently chose to “bounce my eyes” (as Every Man’s Battle teaches) and why I later regretted it. You’ll learn 3 reasons why bouncing your eyes is problematic—and what you can do instead when you see a sexually attractive person or picture. 

Related Episodes:

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

What is sextortion, and how can we guard against it? Chris McKenna shares the dark reality of sextortion, why men (especially young men) are most vulnerable to being sextorted, and what we can do to prevent it.

For more information, read this article:
What Is Sextortion?  A Prevention And Response Guide For Families

Chris McKenna is the founder of Protect Young Eyes. He is a leading digital safety advocate, advising legislators and emerging tech companies. His impactful 2019 testimony before the US Senate initiated a series of hearings to further online child protection policy. 
Duration: 00:31:08

What does your wife need when you relapse into porn, unwanted sexual behavior, and breaking her trust? Tammy Gustafson explains what is going on inside your wife when you relapse, how you can helpful rather than hurtful, and why it's wise for your wife to have a relapse safety plan.

Tammy Gustafson is the founder of the Betrayal Healing Conference. This free conference is for all women who have experienced sexual betrayal, whether you just found out about his acting out, your relationship is healing, or you are divorced and are picking up the pieces. Husband Material...

In this live demo, Doug Carpenter guides Rick Carlson in healing childhood trauma through psychodrama. This episode is an example of Work It Out Wednesday, one of the weekly HMA Coaching Calls. Learn more and join HMA this weekend at joinHMA.com.

Related episodes:

Dr. Doug Carpenter is a clinical psychologist and founding board member of Husband Material Ministries. Learn more at douglascarpenter.com

Rick Carlson is a recovery pastor and Certified Husband Material Coach. Learn more at comebackcoaching.org

Drew...

Learn how external & internal family systems have shaped your sexuality—and what's happening inside you when you feel the pull of pornography. This episode was recorded at "HMA In A Day" as a preview of the Husband Material Academy video course.

Watch the video here.

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

Thanks for li...

In this episode, Drew Boa helps Jordan Castille process a sexual fantasy about a guy in a locker room. This is a demonstration of Fantasy Friday, one of the weekly HMA Coaching Calls. Learn more and join HMA this week at joinHMA.com.

Drew Boa is the founder of Husband Material. He is a Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional, Inner Child Recovery Specialist, Brainspotting Practitioner, and Certified Husband Material Coach.

Jordan Castille is a Board Certified Christian Counselor, Certified Clinical Sex Addiction Specialist, APSATS CPC (Certified Partner Coach) Candidate, and Certified Husband Material Coach. Learn more...

Learn how to face your sexual fantasies and process the particularity of what sexually arouses you. This episode was recorded at "HMA In A Day" as a preview of the Husband Material Academy video course.

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

Thanks for listening!

75% of Christian men and 40% of Christian women watch porn on a regular basis, but only 21% wish they didn't. Nick Stumbo shares these stats and other major findings of Beyond The Porn Phenomenon, a new research report produced by Barna and Pure Desire Ministries.

Nick Stumbo is the Executive Director of Pure Desire Ministries and host of the Pure Desire Podcast. He's also the author of Setting Us Free: An Unexpected Journey Of Grace and Safe: Creating A Culture Of Grace In A Climate Of Shame. Learn more at puredesire.org

Order Beyond The Porn Phenomenon<...

You have a story. Your sexuality has a story. Adam Young explains why and how to engage your sexual story: desires and disappointments, arousal, emotions, shame, abuse, and your war with hope. Adam also gives us a preview of the workshop he will lead at The Porn Free Man Conference on "Engaging God About Your Story." This episode is incredible!

Adam Young is a therapist who focuses on trauma and abuse, and the host of The Place We Find Ourselves podcast. Adam is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) with a Master's degree in Social Work (Virginia C...

Why is purity culture harmful, and how can we heal from it? Dr. Camden Morgante explains what purity culture is, where it came from, and how to let go of toxic beliefs without letting go of your faith. Stay until the end to hear Dr. Camden's beautiful meditation on healing from sexual shame.

Dr. Camden Morgante is a licensed clinical psychologist, writer, speaker, and coach. Dr. Camden combines her personal experience growing up in purity culture with her professional experience in mind-body integration to help her clients and readers heal their faith from toxic beliefs. Learn more...

Why do we hide and lie? How can we stop? This episode will help you feel safe enough to tell the truth—or at least a little safer. I'll lead you in an experiential exercise, similar to what I facilitate in Husband Material Academy and private coaching sessions. Warning: this will be very deep...

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

When emotional energy and sexual energy fuse together, sexualized attachment is the result. In this episode, Dr. Floyd Godfrey describes the dynamics of sexualized attachment and his personal story of healing and recovery.

Dr. Floyd Godfrey is a Clinical Sexologist, Certified Christian Counselor, Certified Sex Addiction Specialist Supervisor, and Certified Mental Health Coach. He is often known for research and intervention with those who struggle with sexualized attachments and eroticized emotions. Connect with Floyd at FloydGodfrey.com

Buy Floyd's recently published book (this is a paid link):

Healing & Recovery – Perspective for Young Men wi...

What exactly is attachment? How does it relate to addiction? Michael John Cusick explains why we need to feel seen, soothed, safe, and secure, and what it looks like to experience attachment with God. At the end, Michael guides us in a beautiful meditation on my favorite chapter of the Bible, Psalm 131.

Michael John Cusick is a Licensed Professional Counselor, spiritual director, speaker, and author. Having experienced the restoring touch of God in a deeply broken life and marriage, Michael’s passion is to connect life’s broken realities with the reality of the gospel. In addition to l...

Exciting news: this podcast is now part of Husband Material Ministries, a Colorado nonprofit corporation! From now on, we are relying on people like you to make resources like this podcast possible (and free) so that more Christian men can outgrow porn. Listen now to learn more...

If you believe in and support our mission, please join our team of monthly supporters at husbandmaterial.com/give.

All donations to Husband Material Ministries are fully tax-deductible. Your generosity empowers us to continue creating programs like our podcast, community, academy, conferences...

In this episode, you'll learn two powerful antidotes for porn addiction: play and awe. Ready for a deep dive into neuroscience? According to Polyvagal Theory, play and awe are both "blended states" that regulate your autonomic nervous system through connection instead of disconnection. Play is not peripheral. Awe is not optional. These experiences are essential for the health of your brain!

Watch the video at www.husbandmaterial.com/play-awe-porn

Related podcast episodes:

<...

Don't let unwanted same-sex attraction hold you back from a life of purpose and possibility. In this episode, Jason Mellard tells his story of feeling separate from masculinity and how that affected him sexually. Hear how Jason found lasting freedom from porn through finding his voice, grieving his wounds, and stepping into his purpose.

Jason Mellard is the founder of Own Your Identity, where he empowers men experiencing unwanted same-sex attraction to live the life they truly desire. Jason is a Certified High Performance Coach and Certified Husband Material Coach. He has experienced sexual abuse, same-sex attraction...

Have you ever felt afraid to be vulnerable? Me too! In this episode, Trent Dollyhigh tells his story of childhood trauma, porn, pastoral ministry, prison, rehab, and a new life of redemptive risks. Here is a man who lost the world and gained his soul. May Trent inspire you to be vulnerable!

"There is no relationship without risk." —Trent Dollyhigh

Trent Dollyhigh is the founder of Be Vulnerable Mentoring, a recovery mentoring ministry. Trent is a Certified Professional Life Coach who holds a Bachelor's of Science in Education and a Master's of Divinity in leadership an...

What can Inside Out 2 teach us about outgrowing porn? I’ll share my top three takeaways. Spoiler alert: important plot details will be revealed. 

Related episodes about Internal Family Systems (IFS):

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

What are the 3 phases of healing from sexual betrayal? In part 2 of our series with Dr. Barbara Steffens and Lyschel Burket, you'll get a helpful overview of the Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model (MPTM). You'll also learn the difference between forgiveness vs. reconciliation vs. trust and how to avoid "good boy syndrome" while working on rebuilding trust.

Dr. Barbara Steffens is the founding president of APSATS, the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists. She has specialized in providing help for the partners of sexual addicts since 1999. Dr. Steffens is a recognized expert in the field, and...

What happens to the brain and body of a wife who discovers her husband's relationship with porn? This is part 1 of our 2 part series on the trauma of sexual betrayal taught by Dr. Barbara Steffens and Lyschel Burket. You'll learn why wives react the way they do, how to tell the difference between wives expressing anger vs. engaging in abusive behavior, how to set appropriate boundaries while practicing empathy, and what wives really want from their husbands in the healing process (VOWS). This teaching is absolutely brilliant. Take notes!

Dr. Barbara Steffens is the founding president of...

Through the story of Philip and the Ethiopian eunuch, you'll hear how Jesus heals sexual shame, childhood trauma, systemic injustice, and the agonizing experience of being excluded and emasculated. If I could sum it up in two words: you belong!

This sermon was originally preached on Sunday, September 9, 2024 at the Husband Material Retreat in Colorado. Sign up to be notified about the 2025 retreat here.

Watch the video here.

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

We all experience sexual attraction differently (SSA, OSA, etc). In this episode, we explore the benefits, challenges, and limitations of forming deep friendships with men who experience different types of sexual attraction.

Drew Boa is the founder of Husband Material. Email Drew at husbandmaterial.com/drew

Henry Brown is the Director Of Operations & Support at HM. Email Henry at henry@husbandmaterial.com.

Jason Pidcock is a trauma-informed recovery coach and HM Community Member. Learn more at jasonpidcockcoaching.com.

Jordan Castille is a board-certified Christian counselor and Certified HM Coach. Learn more...

How do you view men who experience same-sex attraction (SSA)? In this episode, Jordan Castille and Drew Boa deconstruct 10 stereotypes about men who are sexually attracted to men.

Jordan Castille is a Board Certified Christian Counselor, Certified Clinical Sex Addiction Specialist, APSATS CPC (Certified Partner Coach) - Candidate, and Certified Husband Material Coach. He and his wife Cherise have two boys. Jordan loves Jesus, people, video games, working out, Tex-Mex, learning how to fix things, legos, and his church community. Jordan also does one-on-one coaching and small group coaching within the Husband Material Community. He is trained...

How do you view men who experience opposite-sex attraction (OSA)? In this episode, Jason Pidcock and Drew Boa deconstruct 10 stereotypes about men who are sexually attracted to women.

Jason Pidcock is a Certified Trauma Informed Recovery Coach and longtime member of the Husband Material community. Jason is passionate about helping men overcome the coping strategies they have developed that are no longer serving them well. After finding much healing from his own story of spiritual abuse and pornography addiction, he is transitioning from a career as a construction contractor to working full-time as a coach helping other...

If you've spent years wishing your sexual thoughts and feelings would go away, this episode is for you. 

Related resources:

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

Thanks for listening!

Have you ever felt unable to enter into your wife's pain? In this episode, Nathaniel Gustafson explains how to come close to your wife in a way she is more likely to trust. You'll learn how to stay out of shame, keep the spotlight on her, and practice these skills before "game time." Sobriety is not enough. You must learn empathy. Nathaniel's compassionate guidance will help you develop it.

Watch the video of this episode here.

Nathaniel Gustafson is a licensed professional counselor and ordained pastor who specializes in working with men and couples recovering...

Many men have been wounded by women. In this episode, Britta Eskey explains how women can help men heal wounds caused by women. Without women, we are missing half of humanity.

Britta Eskey co-founded COR, which assists people in finding and living their purpose, including through the Noble Man workshop. Britta is the author of Initiations in Love, a spiritual memoir which answers the age old question: “What do we do with our pain?” Britta has a background in social work, family therapy, counseling, family constellation work, dance and movement, spiritual direction, and life coaching. Britta is a Ne...

Did you know that you have more than one inner child? In this episode, you'll get to know three types of unhealed boys within you. Then at the end, I'll share what it looks like to help them heal.

You'll meet:

Related episodes:

Support the show

...

How can I communicate better with members of the opposite sex? What words and phrases can I use? Certified Sex Addiction Therapist Sulonda Smith shares insights and ideas rooted in biology, neuroscience, and 30 years of experience helping men relate to women.

Sulonda Smith is an author, coach, speaker, and CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) known as "The Communications Ninja." Her mission is to show men in relationships with women how to decode, understand, and communicate with her to gain more respect, trust, and appreciation. Learn more at sulondasmith.com

Take the Husband Material Journey...

Have you ever tried to remove access to porn on your digital devices? What if you could create a filter with no loopholes? In this episode, you'll learn a new and innovative approach to internet filtering with Jon and Kristin Wilkes, founders of pluckyfilter.com. You'll also hear from Scott Wurtz, a passionate Plucky user. If you're interested in protecting yourself from porn without giving up your phone, this episode is for you.

Learn more at pluckyfilter.com.

Jon and Kristin Wilkes, founders of Plucky, have been married for 12 years and have 3 young children. Jon...

How can a couple devastated by porn heal, grow, and become even stronger? In this episode, Rich and Deanna Millentree tell their incredible story.

"We're Rich and DeAnna Millentree and we love growing in marriage! We've ridden the rollercoaster of marriage for over 28 years. The ups are exhilarating, but the downs are daunting. As Christian Marriage Coaches, we have one big goal: guide couples to ignite deep, lasting connections to Jesus and one another—no matter where your marriage is at. Together, we will help you break the bad habits that have left you feeling like distant ro...

In this episode, I transform one of my triggers using The F.L.O.S.S. Method with help from three Certified Husband Material Coaches: Andrew Loyd, Juan Mejia, and Rocky Pisor. This episode was recorded live at the recent HMA In A Day workshop as a live demonstration of Trigger Tuesday, one of the weekly coaching calls in Husband Material Academy.

The F.L.O.S.S. Method:

F = Fear

L = Lie

O = Origin Story

S = Sadness

S = Surrender

Drew Boa is...

Triggers don't have to be tyrants. In this episode, you'll learn how to transform your triggers from threats into opportunities for healing using The F.LO.S.S. Method. This episode is an excerpt from the recent HMA In A Day workshop.

The F.L.O.S.S. Method:

Support the show

Take the...

Tera Brown went from trying to fix her husband's sex addiction to finding herself, her emotions, her boundaries, and her sacred ground. In this episode, you'll learn what it looks like to heal from relational trauma and feel alive in your body.

Tera Brown is a trauma-informed life coach trained by APSATS (Association of Partners of Sex Addiction Treatment Specialists). She woke up from a lifelong pattern of avoiding her emotions when her husband disclosed his sex addiction after 16 years of marriage. Tera and her husband have now been married for 29 years.

Tera specializes in...

How do I sit in the dirt with someone who is experiencing sexual brokenness? What if I don't know what to say? What if I find myself dysregulated or sexually aroused by the other person? Jeremy Williamson offers invaluable wisdom and counterintuitive clarity about how "be with" others in such a way that they experience the presence of God.

Jeremy Williamson is a storywork coach and counselor with ReStory. He is also the Director of Restorative Experiences at Restoration Project. As a former pastor and missionary with 20+ years of experience, Jeremy serves as a kind and passionate...

Have you ever been disappointed by traditional counseling or talk therapy? In this episode, you'll discover the power of a whole-brain approach to outgrowing porn. You'll learn the why, what, and how of experiential healing work. This episode is required viewing for my clients.

Related episodes:

Are you interested in doing experiential healing work?

How do you pursue restoration after a relapse, especially in marriage or ministry leadership? Rocky Pisor tells his own story of processing a porn relapse after 17 years of sobriety. You'll learn how to notice the warning signs of impending relapse, and how to respond to relapse with curiosity and compassion rather than punishing yourself or pretending like everything is fine. There is wisdom in this episode!

Rocky Pisor is a Certified Husband Material Coach, Sex Addiction Mentor, Trauma-Informed Facilitator, and Pastoral Counselor who has worked through his own story of freedom from sex addiction. Learn more at...

"There is nothing inherently wrong with an aroused man." What is arousal? Why is it good? Sam Jolman helps us reclaim the heart of masculine sexuality for the purpose of awe, play, and worshipping God. You'll learn how arousal always has a script, why evil hates arousal, and the difference between sexuality and sensuality. At the end, you'll receive a beautiful blessing from Sam. This episode is amazing!

Sam Jolman (MA, LPC) is a trauma therapist with over twenty years of experience specializing in men’s issues and sexual trauma recovery. His writing flows out of this un...

Why do I struggle with gay porn? What does freedom look like? How can I stop using gay porn? In this episode, I answer these questions based on years of research and helping hundreds of men achieve lasting freedom from gay porn.

Recommended resources (including paid links):

Related episodes of Husband Material:

What's the point of processing childhood experiences? In this special episode recorded live at the Sexual Integrity Leadership Summit, Drew, Doug, Eddie, and Matt share insights and stories about how processing childhood experiences can help you outgrow porn.

Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew is the founder of Husband Material, where he helps men outgrow porn. Learn more at husbandmaterial.com

Dr. Doug Carpenter is a clinical psychologist and the co-owner of Insight Counseling Services in Rochester, Michigan. He's the author of "Childhood Trauma and the Non-Alpha...

Why do we sexualize emotions, and how can we desexualize them? In this episode, I explain what it looks like to "right-size" sexual energy through processing emotions and releasing trauma.

Free tools to process emotions:

Ready to release some trauma? Come to the Husband Material Retreat in Colorado on September 6-10, 2024. Sign up at husbandmaterial.com/retreat

"Before the retreat, I was plagued with an overwhelming sense of sadness that I could ignore for a while but never escape. During the retreat, I...

What happens when you feel entitled to sex and treat your wife like a replacement for porn? In this episode, Noah Filipiak tells his story of overcoming sexual entitlement and objectification. Along the way, he unpacks the false promises of purity culture, what love really looks like, how God's grace changes us, and the power of gratitude.

Noah Filipiak is a pastor, author, and the host of The Flip Side Podcast. He also blogs at noahfilipiak.com. Noah and his wife Jen have three daughters. He is on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram @noahfilipiak.

Buy Noah's...

What is the definition of sexless marriage? Why do couples experience this? Sexless marriage is often a symptom of deeper psychosomatic issues. Adam and Karissa teach practical tools to build a sexful marriage through vulnerability, intimacy, and safe touch. This episode can also help couples for whom intercourse is painful or not possible.

Adam and Karissa King are a licensed coach/therapist team and the founders of Dear Young Married Couple, where they help couples become intimately connected, get adventurous, and find purpose.

Free download: 5 Steps When Trust Has Been Broken
Free download: Because...

How do you respond to someone else's story with curiosity and compassion? In part 4 of this 4 part series, Marcus Spaur shares his story: "If I Only Could Have Been..."

If you love story work, you'd love Husband Material Groups.

Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/group

Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew is the founder of Husband Material, where he helps men outgrow porn. Learn more at husbandmaterial.com

Wendell Moss (MA, LMHC) is a therapist, lead instructor, and facilitator...

How do you write a story about your trauma and sexual experiences? In part 3 of this 4-part series, Wendell Moss shares his story: "Sex & Sexuality"

If you love story work, you'd love Husband Material Groups.

Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/group

Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew is the founder of Husband Material, where he helps men outgrow porn. Learn more at husbandmaterial.com

Wendell Moss (MA, LMHC) is a therapist, lead instructor, and facilitator at The Allender Center...

Why is story work absolutely essential for men outgrowing porn? In part 2 of this 4 part series, Chris Inman shares his story: "The Lonely Walk."

If you love story work, you'd love Husband Material Groups.

Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/group

Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew is the founder of Husband Material, where he helps men outgrow porn. Learn more at husbandmaterial.com

Wendell Moss (MA, LMHC) is a therapist, lead instructor, and facilitator at The Allender Center. Wendell...

What is story work? Where did it come from? What does it look like? In part 1 of this 4-part series, Drew shares his story: "The Day I Got Braces."

If you love this series, you'd love Husband Material Groups.

Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/group

Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew is the founder of Husband Material, where he helps men outgrow porn. Learn more at husbandmaterial.com

Wendell Moss (MA, LMHC) is a therapist, lead instructor, and facilitator...

What is inner healing prayer, and how can it help men outgrow porn?

This episode is a preview of our new online course, "10 Ways To Heal Your Trauma: Resolving The Roots Of Porn And Sex Addiction." Get free access at healyourtrauma.com

Resources for Inner Healing Prayer:

What is Polyvagal Theory? How can it help men outgrow porn? John Kilmer skillfully describes the autonomic nervous system and how to (re)shape it in order to experience regulation without unwanted sexual behavior.

John Kilmer is a Mental Health Life Coach, Occupational Therapist, and Certified Husband Material Coach. John has completed the Foundations of Polyvagal Informed Practice Clinical Training Series with Deb Dana. He's a grateful follower of Jesus who is passionate about men's inner healing work. Learn more about John at relaxedcaregiver.com.

This episode is a preview of our new online course, "10...

We need a theology of trauma. In this episode, Matt Wenger powerfully invites us to view our trauma through the lens of Jesus's life, death, and resurrection. This episode is a preview of our new online course at healyourtrauma.com

Matt Wenger is the clinical director of Boulder Recovery, a 14-day intensive for Christian men struggling with sex, porn, and relationship issues. Boulder Recovery uses the TINSA treatment model (Trauma-Induced Sexual Addiction) to heal the traumatic experiences and attachment wounds driving addictive behaviors and problematic thinking around sex and intimacy.

EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT: Today...

Do you long for connection, but it feels impossible? In this episode, you'll learn extremely simple tools and techniques to create connection in any conversation—using your eyes, face, voice, and words.

Helpful phrases:

Resources mentioned (including paid links):

There are over 40 reasons why men don't talk about their sexual abuse. Let's break the silence. In this episode hosted by Mike Chapman and Doug Carpenter, survivors of sexual abuse share vulnerable stories of harm and healing.

Mike Chapman is a Certified Husband Material Coach and the leader of the HM fellowship for survivors of sexual abuse. Contact Mike at polarlifeconsulting.com/contact

Check out Mike's new podcast: Healing For Male Survivors

Dr. Doug Carpenter is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Certified Husband Material Coach, and the author...

What is full disclosure? When, why, and how should I reveal sexual secrets to my wife? In this episode, disclosure experts Dan Drake and Janice Caudill walk us through the process of full therapeutic disclosure from beginning to end. You'll learn how to restore truth in your relationship in a way that is healing rather than harmful.

Dan Drake and Dr. Janice Caudill co-founded Kintsugi Recovery Partners and co-authored 5 books in the Full Disclosure Series. They developed the first full disclosure training and certification course, and they provide the highest level of support for professionals using their...

Your imagination is not bad. Learn the 4 main types of fantasies, how to evaluate the healthiness of a fantasy, and what to do with your healthy/unhealthy fantasies!

Related episodes:

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...