Lesbian Chronicles: Coming Out Later in Life

Alli and Melisa chat about how the seemingly innocent move of talking about friends can grow into hurtful gossip and setting the intentions of how to be more mindful about friendships. We also share the 9 habits of people who protect their energy ... Along with this powerful message about perimenopause from Rooted to Wellness

Editor's Note: Melisa mistakenly says koalas are "allergic" to eucalyptus. While eucalyptus is toxic, their digestive system is able to tolerate it. However, the leaves take a long time to digest which is what causes their lethargic nature. 

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Alli and Melisa chat about their Thanksgiving holiday with family and how we've shifted perspectives on our childhoods over the years. Also, how to train your brain to really "get excited" about what's coming up next in your life. 

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Rae is back to share how her relationship with her wife was impacting her children -- and the decision they've now made to "Live Apart Together."

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Our friend Shelley joins the show to talk about the years she spent ignoring her own sexuality and how she began to discover her true self in her late 40s. 


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Alli and Melisa talk the benefits of professional therapy and how it's an evolving process to uncover the layers of what makes us tick. Also, mark your calendars for November 21st! Lesbian Chronicles is hosting a screening of "The Christmas Writer" in Atlanta at The Beam Theatre. Click here for details!

Stream "The Christmas Writer" here.

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Content creator Alicia joins the show to talk about her weight loss journey that she is actively sharing on TikTok, her life growing up in Kentucky and what it was like to come out in her mid-20s. 
Follow Alicia on TikTok, Instagram and Facebook. 

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Experts say the Honeymoon Phase of a relationship can last anywhere from a few months to two years -- so how do you keep that spark going and stay committed to your person? 

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As seen in People magazine, Lindsay Perrin joins the show to talk about her journey as a surrogate for a gay couple, working as a photographer for Rolling Stone and covering Taylor Swift's concerts. And we can't forget her epic Lesbian Bar Crawls in NYC. We also chat about the epidemic of lesbians canceling on dates.

Follow Linsay on TikTok and Instagram 

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Alli and Melisa talk about the LIVE event in Seattle, Oct. 18th. They also discuss the importance of showing up and doing the hard thing.  5 seconds of courage. A listener email is shared of a woman in the midst of finding her way.  See you tonight at the Reverie Ballroom in Seattle.

 click here to buy tix

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Alli and Melisa talk the importance of doing the work. 

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Alli and Melisa explore the question: "Is being gay a choice?" Also, how do your background, sexual fluidity and the spectrum of sexuality play a role? 

LESBIAN CHRONICLES LIVE is coming up on Oct. 18th in Seattle!
Click HERE for tickets!

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Our friend Rachel from Seattle joins the show to fill-in as co-host for Melisa. 
Alli and Rachel talk dating, long distance situations and how to build on that friend group. Rachel's pro-tip... holding "Office Hours" every Friday! 

Don't forget to buy tickets to our event in Seattle October 18, 2025 

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TRIGGER WARNING: This episode touches on religious trauma.

Anna joins the show to share part two of her coming out story following her experience as a Christian missionairy in The Middle East. 

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TRIGGER WARNING: This episode touches on religious trauma, conversion therapy and grooming. 

Our friend Anna joins the show to share how she went from being involved in a Christian cult, moving  to Iraq and Libya as a Christian missionary -- to having her sexual re-awakening while living in the Middle East. 


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After leaning into our own shift in style over the years, Alli and Melisa share some fashion tips -- basics to buy, good places to splurge and stores where you can find some great deals. 

Brands mentioned in this episode... 
Rowan
Frye
All Saints
Blundstone

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Melisa and Alli chat about signals -- how do you know when someone is interested and how to handle things when you're getting mixed signals.

Secure tickets for LESBIAN CHRONICLES LIVE in Seattle on October 18, 2025 by clicking HERE
Check out The Lesbian Chronicles website
Visit our Map on Instagram 

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Alli and Melisa give their take on the new film, "Honey Don't," staring
Margaret Qualley and Aubrey Plaza... and discuss a listener dilema of being not quite ready for a relationship, despite meeting someone great. Also, why lesbians tend to rush into relationships and marriage. And how sometimes our brains are working against us in our healing process. 

Click HERE to buy tickets for the Lesbian Chronicles LIVE Event in Seattle on October 18, 2025.


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Are you surviving off dopamine? Through Instagram, TikTok, even dating apps? Alli and Melisa talk about how this addiction can impact other parts of your life. 

Join us August 19, 2025 for a screening of the new film "Honey Don't" at AMC Madison Yards in Atlanta.
Click here to register for tickets! 

Also, get your tickets now for our LIVE event in Seattle on October 18, 2025 
Click here for tickets!


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Birthdays suck. So does perimenopause and PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder) -- but at the end of the day, life is gonna life. 

Join us August 19th at AMC Madison Yards in Atlanta for a FREE screening of the new movie, "Honey Don't" starring Aubrey Plaza, Margaret Qualley, Chris Evans and Charlie Day. 
Click HERE to enter to win guaranteed seats for the August 19th screening! 

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

Alli and Melisa speak on the importance of diving deeper on healing -- and how beneficial it is to just sit with the space, not seek out the next best thing. 

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Jane Does Comedy joins the show to share her coming out journey and how she embraces her chosen singlehood. 

TRIGGER WARNING: This episode mentions s**cidal thoughts.

Check out Jane Does Comedy on Instagram and TikTok


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Melisa and Alli talk "emotional resonance" and why some people feel more comfy emotionally than others. Also, our top tools for emotional regulation. 

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Alli and Melisa discuss how some dating apps are struggling -- for instance, Bumble is cutting 30% of its workforce -- and why some app users are not having success. Also, why you should allow your friends to pick your dating app photos. 

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Dating coach Sabrina Zohar joins the show to drop some major knowledge on how our brains work in relationships -- limerence, mistaking attachment for connection, and how avoidants are often misunderstood.

Sabrina Zohar is a dynamic entrepreneur and dating coach renowned for her transformative podcast, The Sabrina Zohar Show. With a clear, no-nonsense approach to relationship advice, Sabrina's podcast has resonated globally, ranking in the top 0.05% of all podcasts. Each episode features practical tips backed by board-certified and licensed psychologists, aimed at helping listeners improve their dating lives by fostering self-worth and personal growth.

Follow Sabrina...

In honor of 4th of July -- we talk the difference between relationships that start off as fireworks versus the slow burn. 

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Our friend Heather joins the show to share how she keeps that "baby bird" energy despite experiencing heartbreak in the past. We also talk about that imposter syndrome feeling as late in life lesbians. 

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Chelsea and Kady share their story of how grief brought them together after they both lost siblings. And how Chelsea didn't realize her sexuality until meeting Kady (despite showers with her friends! lol lol)

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Is JoJo Siwa done with the wlw life? Alli and Melisa chat about sexual fluidity and how sexuality can shift and evole over time

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Alli and Melisa discuss dating expert Matthew Hussey's theory on the levels of a relationship. Also, how to have those hard, "defining the relationship" conversations -- and finding your power when you don't get the answer you're hoping for. 

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Country music singer Brooke Eden shares how she went from never wanting to get married -- to ready to U-Haul with her now wife -- and how her career has grown since coming out.
Fun fact about Brooke: Trisha Yearwood officiated her wedding and Garth Brooks sang during the ceremony!

Click here to learn more about Brooke's music and tour info!

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Alexi Melvin joins the Lesbian Chronicles for our 300th episode!!! Alexi shares how her affinity for Gillian Anderson (aka FBI Special Agent Scully) led to her TikTok and Instagram following -- and what it's like dating in NYC! 

Follow Alexi on Instagram and on TikTok

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Mallory Hanfling, MSW, LCSW, and PhD Student of Human Sexuality joins the show to share her "firefly" journey and the study she's currently working on involving late in life lesbians! 

Courage to Grow Counseling
Firefly Study
Follow Mallory on Instagram

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Alli and Melisa talk internalized homophobia and the ways it still shows up for us today. And how we were definitely the elephants in the room at a predominantly hetero event. 

(Note: In this episode Melisa says gay marriage was legalized on a federal level in 2016... it was actually legalized in 2015.)

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Melisa and Alli discuss the importance of shedding your past pain to allow yourself to be open to new relationships. We also share quotes about heartbreak and moving on from writer and relationship coach, Jillian Turecki. 

For more information on Jillian Turecki, click here!
Also mentioned in this episode, Yung Pueblo's new book How to Love Better and Running on Empty by Jonice Webb, PhD

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New York Times "Wirecutter" sexual health journalist Bianca Alba, MPH joins the show to talk sexual positivity, feeling safe in your body and topics like lube recommendations and how to get confident in your own body before being intimate (ahem, masterbating)
Trust us, you definitely want to listen to this episode!

Check Out Bianca's Website!
New York Times Wirecutter
Follow Bianca on Instagram!

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Our friend Robin shares her take on kissing techniques -- her story of coming into her own as a mother of three, and her life now co-parenting/"nesting" with her ex-husband. 

Check out Lesbian Chronicles Merch! 


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Anna shares her coming out journey, her feelings around imposter syndrome as a newly out queer person and the life-changing news she got shortly after coming out. 


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Alli and Melisa discuss how to handle things when your relationship starts to get a little boring and how to push through from the lust phase to long-term love. We also put a few friends in the Hot Seat to share their celebrity crushes and a lil peak into their ultimate fantasies! 

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If you were the main character in the movie of your life, what would the audience be screaming at you to do? Melisa and Alli share how they think the audience would react to moments in their lives -- and how to hush the noise of people whose opinions really don't matter. 

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Melisa and Alli discuss how some people have the optimism of a baby bird -- and address if there is a "mean girl" mentality from lesbians towards bisexuals. 

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Alli and Melisa reflect back on what life was like during the transistion of knowing they were gay and figuring out what to do about their marriages. Also, how to cope with "PTSD" from past relationships. 

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Alli and Melisa cover a wide variety of topics this week...
-Melisa's co-parenting trip to Colorado
-The internet's infatuation with Loretta Bush (the FBI agent from Netflix's Gabby Petito doc)
-When/how to introduce your partner to your kids
-How life feels so insecure when you're early on in your coming out journey
-Late in life coming out support group in Atlanta (Melissa Lester, LCSW Coming Out Support Group)

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How do you pursue someone you're interested in? Do you slide into their DMs? Or send a hot pic right out the gate? Melisa and Alli explore this topic -- and their own success (ahem, failures)

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Melisa and Meredith are in the hot seat to talk the reality of dating long distace -- with Melisa in Atlanta and Meredith in Austin.

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Alli and Melisa discuss age gaps in romantic relationships and what factors to consider when it comes to moving forward with an age gap relationship. Also, what happens to a friend group when a couple within the group breaks up? The percieved feeling of "keeping your friendships" in tact while also losing your friend/ex all within the confines of a social group.  

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Alli and Melisa discuss questions you should ask yourself about your relationship... 
If someone said, "You're just like your partner," would that feel like a compliment?Are you truly fulfilled by this relationship or just less lonely? Can you unapologetically be yourself? Are you in love with who they are right now? Or the potential of who they could eventually become? Would you choose a relationship like this for your child as an adult?

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Kayla Bellman, Owner and Founder of Finca to Filter, joins the podcast to share her coming out story and how she started her very own coffee shop in Atlanta. 

Finca to Filter Website
Finca to Filter Instagram

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Actress and comedian Julie Birke joins the show to share her Loves, Lies, Lesbians story from TikTok. Buckle up for gaslighting, breadcrumbing and a random bath in the midst of a breakup! 

Julie Birke TikTok

Julie Birke Instagram

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Vanilla ice cream is fine... but what if you never tried anything else? Alli and Melisa dive into the misconception that it's a prerequiste to be repulsed by men to consider yourself a lesbian. We also bust the myth about a woman's "scent."

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Kristin shares her coming out story that includes undoing deep religious trauma, internalized homophobia and how she's keeping a positive relationship with her ex-husband. 

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Alli and Melisa address the Native American parable, the Tale of Two Wolves and how that weaves into life today. Feed the good wolf!

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Rachel shares her early battle with addiction, getting married at a young age and how the passing of a close loved one inspired her to show up more authentically. 

Rachel is an amazing web designer and graciously offered to create the Lesbian Chronicles website
which is a safe space for late in life women to connect and share their stories. 

For more information on Rachel's work .. Rachel White Creative
And her business, Unlockd Box, dedicated to helping real estate brokers show homes easier. 

The holidays are a tough time... and they haven't gotten any easier for us over the years. Alli and Melisa talk about how to prepare for the hard moments during the holidays -- and how to compromise with ex-husband and/or your partner on time spent with family.

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"You can't be the cause and the cure."
Meredith (Baby Gays ATX) joins the show again to talk about how sex therapy and EMDR helped uncover her true sexuality, learning to sit in discomfort of coming out -- and what life has been like coming out to her family and co-parenting with her ex. 

Baby Gays ATX - Facebook group
Baby Gays ATX - Instagram

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Melisa and Alli chat about how we're all a little weird when we're first coming out. We all have our own Answering Machine Meltdowns a la Jon Favreau in Swingers. And Meredith from Baby Gays ATX joins the show to talk about how she has created a late in life group in Austin, Texas. 

Baby Gays ATX - Facebook group
Baby Gays ATX - Instagram

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

Alli and Melisa deep dive on the Big vs. Aidan dynamic in Sex and the City (random, yes... but relevant) and how people often choose partners who aren't choosing them. Also a lesson on keeping the relationship with your ex-husband intact. 

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Our friend Bex (known her killer karaoke skills) joins the show to share her coming out story -- her journey to find the perfect name, and how she built community following her move from Vermont to Atlanta! 

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Sue and Paige share their stories of coming out later in life, finding love over 50, and how they make things work blending 5 kids!

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Do you truly know yourself? Or do you only know the version of yourself in a relationship? Alli and Melisa discuss "relationship hopping" and how it doesn't allow for time for you to know who you are alone. 

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Melisa and Alli chat about their epic Pride 2024 weekend -- from Second Friday to a party at Alli's house to the Pride Parade! 

Resources to build community!

Atlanta Pride

Human Rights Campaign

PFLAG

Lost n Found Youth Atlanta

Baby Gays ATX

Gwinnett County Pride

Tucker Pride

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

"You don't know the weight you're carrying until it's gone."
Joy joins the show to share her experience growing up in Ohio, the daughter and granddaughter of Baptist pastors in a Black Church, her time in a 25 year straight marriage while in love with her female best friend -- and now coming out publicly at 49 and living her truth!


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We touch on lessons learned from Relationship Expert, Amy Chan and give it a lesbian twist. 

We mistakenly refer to Amy Chan as a doctor in this episode but no matter, she's extremely knowledgeable... check out her info below to learn more.

Relationship Expert Amy Chan





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Past guests Stacey and Christin join the show to share their love story and how they're helping others to heal from the past and find love! 

Get Off the Dating Apps- Journal to Find Your Soul Mate

Lez Go Travel Show

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We discuss Melisa's newfound bromances and talk the evolution of masculinity within ourselves. 

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This week Alli and Melisa talk about how your inner child wound may show up in your adult relationship. This topic was sparked by an Instagram post from Therapist and Author, Dené Logan.
Click here to learn more about Dené.

We also get into relationship green flags and the sexiness of emotional availability.
And if you'd like to try the Holistic Psychologist's Inner Child Meditation Melisa mentions in this episode, you can check it out here.



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Our friend Mandi joins the show to talk about rediscovering her sexuality later in life after the loss of her husband. 

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Alli and Melisa chat about the endless possibilities sexting has to offer -- and how to level up your sexting game. And how our feminine and masculine traits have evolved over the years since coming out. 

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Alli and Melisa chat with Ginny, a late in life lesbian who initated the start of a virtual support group based in Boston. Ginny shares how the group gives space to those who aren't ready to meet in-person or those who are immunocompromised. She also shares how coming out led to a budding new career as a carpenter! 

Learn more about QT Library's Late in Life Affinity Group!

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

Alli and Melisa take note of how Gen Z has the ability to not care about the things we cared so much about... specifically appearance and other people's opinions.

We also chat about how our Book Club selection "All Fours" (by Miranda July) has prompted deeper thought on how aging impacts our growth.

And how our world often makes assumptions about people's religious beliefs. 


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Melisa and Alli talk the truth about divorce and how it impacts kids (fun fact, it's not creating the damage you think it is...) -- then we change gears and talk about the double standards of sex



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Christine Sellers and Anne Brendle join the show to talk all things perimenopause and how it impacts so many aspects of women's lives. 

Learn more about Nourish and Flourish

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Melisa and Alli talk about coping with their respective breakups -- and Melisa shares what she wishes she could have told herself on Day 1 of the breakup. 

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Claire Holt joins the show to talk about how she became a queer fashion influencer with 350k+ followers on TikTok. She also shares her own coming out story! 

Follow Claire_Holt12 on... 

TikTok
Instagram
YouTube
Pinterest

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Alli shares a life update -- and we discuss the importance of healing from heartbreak. 

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Our friend KT joins the show to talk about how she got involved with Stonewall Sports and went on to become the National Director of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion for Stonewall Sports, Inc. KT also shares her very "But I'm a Cheerleader" coming out story!

Learn more about Stonewall Sports
Join the QueenDom Athletix on Instagram
Meet KT

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This week we chat with Danie, a Sapphic Sexologist living in Denver, Colorado. We discuss how shame and guilt from a religous upbringing can continue to live in your body -- and bust the myth of lesbian bed death. 


To learn more about Danie's work visit her website at sapphicsexologist.com

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Our friend Ally joins Melisa and Alli to talk about how alcohol is often used as a coping mechanism and tools to get your life back on track. 

Books mentioned in this episode include: This Naked Mind, We Are The Luckiest, Easy Way to Control Alcohol, and Sober Curious

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Alli and Melisa take on more unsolicited advice -- offering opinions on if she should tell a date it's your first time kissing another woman to if you should be friends with an ex. 

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Our friend Christine joins the pod to answer listener questions and give our very unprofessional opinions!

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Happy Pride! This week, Melisa and Alli elaborate on some dating icks -- and the biggest ick of them all, not being a grown up and avoiding tough conversations! 

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Alli and Melisa dive into dating icks -- and Melisa shares a list of "icks" that might prompt her to swipe left. 

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

Being a mom means your time isn't always your own -- which makes it really tough to find the time and space to focus on your own healing from heartbreak. 

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

Michele from the Live Out Loud podcast joins the show to share her views on navigating the dating scene and relationships. And how she's focusing on "dating her friends" and cultivating the relationships with people who are already in her life. 

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This week we address a listener question about how to come out when you're still in a hetero marriage.

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Alli and Melisa share some quotes on letting go and how sometimes we cling to things in life that are no longer meant for us. 

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Melisa and Alli dive into what it's like raising kids as lesbian moms and how to handle possible bullying. 

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Why is everyone is such a rush to do all the things? Commit to a relationship? Meet the kids? Move in together? Combine finances? Our friend Heather joins us to discuss why we all need to just chill!

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Melisa and Alli discuss JoJo Siwa's ever evolving image -- and why people should cut her some slack. We also dive into attachment styles and how they show up at different stages of a relationship. 

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This week we talk about the importance of throwing other people's ideals and expectations out the window! You do you! And also, a few tips on how not to get catfished on dating apps!

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Psychologist Courtney Simpson joins us to talk about Dialectical Behavior Therapy and the coping skills that have helped her in her own coming out journey -- along with how she got comfortable with the lesbian label.

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Are you an over 50 lesbian, feeling like there's no one out there for you so why bother even trying to date? You're not alone! There's so many people with a similar viewpoint -- but if everyone doesn't make an effort, won't it stay that way? 


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Rae joins the show to share her coming out story of how she married her catalyst and how she is now working on developing better coparenting skills and shedding her co-dependent nature. 

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Alli and Melisa explore the topic of fear -- from phobias like snakes and drowning -- to one majority of people can relate to... the fear of being alone. Is that fear of being alone keeping you stuck in a situation that's no longer right for you?

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Allie joins us for a third time to give an update on her coming out process -- and why she's choosing not to date at this time and instead focus on her own well-being.

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We've noticed a common theme about catalysts (first relationships) in many of our listener emails -- today we discuss possibilities as to why....

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Alli and Melisa discuss a different take on guilt -- viewing it as "wise remorse." We also share some tips on manifestation from the great Mel Robbins -- and how the Netflix series "Love on The Spectrum" could help you learn how to human.

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Dr. Kara Strauss joins us to talk about pelvic floor health and how it can impact so many aspects of your life. We also dive into grief and how mourning the end of a relationship is such a multifaceted process. You're not just mourning a person, you're mourning that future.

For more information on Dr. Kara Strauss, visit the links below.
Super Human Therapy
Dr. Kara Strauss on Instagram

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After becoming a mom at 18, then coming out at 29, Jodi felt she had finally met her perfect match -- only to have her new life turned upside down. Now Jodi is sharing her story to help others through their own mental health, sexuality, and relationship struggles.

TRIGGER WARNING: S**ual Assault and S**cide

Connect with Jodi on Facebook

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Big News for the Lesbian Chronicles Podcast! We have a website!!!
LESBIAN CHRONICLES PODCAST

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Melisa and Alli are joined by their lovely friend Malena to chat about how our past places a role in life today -- and how important it is to share with your triggers with your partner or potential partners.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.