Role Radio - A 5e Actual Play Dungeons & Dragons Podcast

In this episode the party found time during their battle to, yet again, tackle a moral quandary.  

Though no consensus was made, the party did unanimously agree on one thing. Quesnef is totally useless! 

In this episode Someone does experiments with animals. Someone tries to ruin a good plan. Someone does not bite the bullet. No one gets hypnotized by swirly whirlies, and no one gets any pizza. 

This episode will make you feel like dancing, while simultaneously inspiring you to turn a dark scary room into a sparkly disco night club, with a very good Poison song jamming in the background. Just like any DnD game.

In this episode we take a deep dive into Schick's White Plume Mountain module while the players literally take a deep dive into what may or may not be a death trap. Yeah, its probably a death trap.

In this episode we learn about the pros and cons of being on the clean up crew in a wizards lair. The pros being all the singing and dancing while the cons might include public humiliation, bodily injury and death.

In this episode the party finds a new friend along with some treasure. Cullen finds his destiny and Jake and Esmir have a special moment. We also learn the correct distance to stand away from your friend while they risk their life for you.  

In this episode while the party gets literally grappled they also figuratively grapple with some perplexing topics. Can you jynx someone while you are dead? Can kissing your foe be a useful tactic? And, are conga lines really only for losers? Listen in to find out???

This action packed episode should be called Sea Lions and Manticores and Giant Crayfish and Giant Scorpions, oh my! But it's not a musical even though there is a lot of singing and a conga line.

In this episode the night is calling, they have to go. The DM is hungry, he runs the show. He's licking his lips, he's ready to win. On the hunt tonight for love at first sting? Just take a listen, you will be rocked like a hurricane. 

In this episode the party reflects on the reality of spending time in a areas that are designed by super dorks with the sole purpose of killing you and wondering why the treasure is never in the first room. 

In this episode a lot of things would have been really cool if it were not for the stupid, stupid dice that have a special algorithm which is clearly designed to benefit the DM. Whatever…

In this episode we follow along on the maiden voyage of the SS Keraptis. So sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip. The ship takes ground in a death trap room of an evil evil guy, with Esmerelda and Carrie too. The battle master and his blades. The Barbarian. The Cleric and the ranger Jade here in Keraptis' tower.

In this episode, no genre is left unturned. It starts off like a Hollywood blockbuster, then quickly morphs into an 80's action show. There is a long HGTV episode of "Let's Build a Death Boat" followed by an homage to a 1960's sitcom. Yup, something for everyone.

In this episode we are not promoting the use of smokable herbs as performance enhancing substances. But if you are possibly doing the last fun thing you will ever do, it might be worth a shot. Or you can just use the laws of physics. Whatever…

In this uncomfortable episode things get worse and worse by the second. Aforementioned singed body parts are brought up, for good reason. There is some nudity, brief strong language, and ghoulish violence. On the bright side, no one dies. (in one of the rounds).

In this trash compactor of an episode, we meet a mystical beast with an unfortunate name. Esmir's paranoia rubs off on Cullen. The word sporran comes up, again. And the party realizes the stupidity of leaving your fate up to a die roll.

In this cool episode, there is a little of everything: Naked wizards, startled donkeys, vomit, beer and pie, and some fierce negotiations at an Airbnb. There are no epic montages of readiness, but some new meat shields are made, oh wait, I mean friends.

In this episode, there is a big reveal. But first, you will have to listen to some very important plot points. You will hear the Cliff Notes of the Floshin Manor, followed by Jake scolding Sir Isteval. Then you will join Esmir in the life changing experience of tidying up. Then finally, you will find out a little bit more about Cullen, and so will he.

In this first episode of season 5, Esmir wakes up on the wrong side of the cold hard cellar floor. She is cranky/ornery/disagreeable/irrational/sarcastic/rude/over all bad tempered.

There is also no buffet of any kind, let alone one with pickles and taters. On the bright side, there is no TPK, well at least not a real one….

In this episode, you will receive an electrum's worth of a Season 4 recap. Listen in as the gang reminisces over their adventures. From Ninja assassins and their new apartment to a ruined day off and That Festival. Grab your potion of vengeance and get ready for season 5!

In this epic season finale, our results driven DM goes above and beyond. He really exceeds expectations. He proves his ability to implement innovative strategies that drive his friends and his wife to the brink of death. Good thing he has his resume up to date.

In this episode we learn a lot of things. We learn about the least debilitating of debilitating effects. We learn about what type of guts are Esmir's favorite type of guts. We also learn that there is a difference between praying and just asking a god for a favor. There is also a lot of fire and blood. 

In this episode we meet an evil Red Wizard. More importantly however, we debate the difference between a meat shield and a tank. Query how much more stuff Esmir can put in her bag of holding. And once again, find some loopholes in Jakes code of ethics.

This episode could be a good episode, could be a bad episode. Listening to it may or may not be a 100 percent waste. You should skip this episode if you suffer from Hydrophobia, or you just want to be a Debbie Downer. 

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In this episode our party delves into ethical topics such as informed consent, consequentialism, and atonement. Many arguments are made and questions unanswered. Like, is stealing always wrong? Is redemption always possible? And, why don't bad guys ever practice tap dancing? Yup, things get pretty deep.

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In this episode the party does not encounter red eyes staring at them from the darkness, a three headed hydra, a zombie beholder, or a minotaur. Esmir does get some more apartment shopping in, and there is also a short history lesson about the earliest known writing system used by scribes in ancient Mesopotamia, the Sumerian Cuneiform dating back to 3500BCE………ZZZZZZZZZZZ.

This episode is a sort of hybrid genre piece. It's part supernatural action adventure loaded up with the overused trope of the sexy librarian. It's part docudrama about a mental health disorder that involves being unable to resist the urge to steal. Oh, and there are hints of a really popular fantasy role playing game.

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In this, our 100th episode, all is quiet. Esmir helps herself to some more of the Floshin Estate amenities. Jake finds more books that he can't read. Cullen feeds the DM with logic. We also revisit the endless debate over which way doors should open. Yup, all is quiet.

In this Three is Company meets D&D episode, a.k.a. Shenanigans with blood, a lot of stupid stuff happens. Esmir gets pissed off, Cullen gets irritated, and there is a lot of confusion. But on the bright side, there are almost no mayonnaise references… almost.

This episode is pretty much all about mayonnaise. Sure, Jake does come back from being a bird, and there are a lot of zombies and shadows. There are also some uncomfortable innuendos and a cool Ronnie James Dio homage. But really its just about the mayonnaise.

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In this episode we learn more about mythological undead corporeal revenants created through the reanimation of corpses, AKA Zombies. For example, everything is edible to zombies, but they do not like to share their recipes. Some zombies are quite well dressed, and you can not defibrillate a zombie. We also learn a great way to get out of a "zombie situation"…it's not what you'd expect.

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In this episode we learn the secrets of elven room perfuming techniques, what the other "B" word is, and how Fantasy Grounds really feels about Cullen. We also watch as our intrepid heroes wrestle with a serious moral quandary. Mmmm? Some of them more than others.

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In this informative episode we learn about an ancient general named Patton as well as how to properly fold skivvies. We learn that Esmir and her horse can get quite ornery. Jake, once again, learns that he has a bag of holding. We also learn too much about how much weight Cullen can carry. We do NOT learn how to properly tie a Slip Jimmy… Is that even a real knot?

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This episode is all about having a good time. It's filled with music, beer, games and prizes. Even though there are assassins after our party, a gruesome murderer is on the loose, and the threat of a siege on the town, it is clearly the perfect time to have a festival. Nothing bad could possibly happen.

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In this episode we explore several narrative devices and the clever use of puns. We ponder the socially acceptable amount of times you can invite yourself over to someone's house, as well as good marketing strategies for revamping a religion. Our special guests are Pat Benatar and Travis Bickle, and a little magical elf who makes condiments.

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This episode is a little bit murder mystery with a splash of the home shopping network. There is quite a bit of deducing and absolutely no discounts. There are some tips on how to NOT get framed for murder as well as some edgy wizard garb. There is also a theology lesson which my arguably have a tad bit too much innuendo.

In this episode our party continues to NOT enjoy their day off. However we do learn a lot about misty bad guys, like what kind of batteries they run on. We also learn about the advantages of gem incrustations on improvised weapons, and what an electrums worth of skivvies might look like. Oh and there may or may not be a Glen Campbell cover.

In this episode we bring to light some items that may be missing from the handbook. Like a skill that lets you know whose guts a creepy lady in the ethereal plane is holding. A way to shoot a firebolt without setting anything on fire. And a rule for who can decide if you're scared enough to soil yourself. Yup, it's that kind of episode.

In this whodunnit episode we explore the nature of actions and consequences. We discover the difference between Isildur's Bane and homemade drug paraphernalia. We also confirm that the DM is in fact a controlling, manipulative and vengeful overseer…..I mean really, really nice guy.

In this "teachable moment" episode we learn the difference between feeling bad and feeling guilty. We also explore the upside of pissing off the right people, like getting your own festival and having a sizable bounty on your head…. Wait, is that an upside? 

In this travel episode Cullen becomes immortal, kind of. Jake get's a memory enhancer, not really. Esmir spots some underwater ninjas, nope! There is an "Apocalypse Now" moment, they wish. And Father Guido Sarducci makes a cameo appearance. This part is actually true.

In this episode we witness the lore of "Those Guys" in the making. Esmir tries out some new intimidation tactics and may or may not maim someone. Jake makes an unusual suggestion which may or may not involve making out with a rat. And Cullen….. Well lets just say Cullen eats a LOT of pickles.

In this action packed episode our heroes have an unforgettable night at the Sticky Pickle. Jekk runs around in his skivvies, Esmir starts a pickle religion, Cullen takes his boots off for more grip, and Jake, well let’s just say Brian has vowed to never play on a Saturday again.

In this enraging episode, things get a little uncomfortable and then they get a little weird. Then things get a little more weird before tapering off to something somewhat normal right before the sticky encore. Have your lighters ready.

In this episode we spend some time in between weal and woe. There are vague gods, gods in bread form, Boots and Cats, policy clarifications and panther rides. Oh, and a few perfectly good 80's hits may or may not get ruined.

In this cinematic episode we learn how to properly conduct a super hero shot, cut together a traveling montage, and direct a wholesome cooking show. We also revisit the horror genre, which begs the question, "Does the DM really hate the players?"

With Season 4 ready at the gates, we thought we'd take a moment to refresh your memory on the where's, why's, how's, and what's of Those Guys' third season. Of course they're in great despair over the loss of their companion, Elric of Albion, yet they've managed to pick up their heads and hearts to continue fighting the good fight. So click one of the links below and give a listen to what Cullen McGregor called "...a fine bit o' adventurin' for the lads and lassies." Jake thought season 3 was, "Absolutely wonderful, you see." And Esmir called it, "Amazeballs with...

In this architecture themed episode we learn about places over which you should never build a stronghold, and how to flip an old fortress into something more fun. There are lots of decorations, artwork, niches, staircases, and deep dark holes with impenetrable and eerie silence. Oh and someone may get immolated or emulsified.

In this not so fun fact filled episode, we learn a few of the cons to making a deal with the devil. We meet some hellish concierges and their not cool bosses. Nana and Papa show up as well as a guy named George. And the party finds themselves caught between confusion and pain, pain, pain….

In this episode we learn about the value of having fun i.e. "The way of Esmir." We also learn that searching for a secret room is sometimes more fun than actually finding one, that death is always near, and that words are better when they have more syllables. And sometimes having fun is worth a bit of bludgeoning, or combusting, or blowing up!

In this episode one particular bad guy has a day not even worth getting out of bed for, while his friend may or may not get killed down to a microscopic level. There is also a very productive staff meeting to discuss team wins, processes and improvements, as well as reviewing some roadblocks and challenges, like getting stuck in a skin pouch made of your own skin.

In this episode we break down the trophic structure of the bad guy food chain, recap how to kill or capture a foe using Pizzazz, delve into the unspoken bond between a man and his tailor, discover where wizards keep their passwords, oh! and also how to defuse a bomb.

In this episode our players make one of the most famous and everlasting contributions to D&D playing as "Those Guys", a fictional gang of well-meaning but hilariously inept heroes. "Those Guys will forever be synonymous with dungeon slapstick and bungling, chases filled with horseplay, and overall comic chaos.

In this episode we explore the theory of probability and discover the painful truth that rolling a 20 and rolling a 1 are exactly as hard or easy….. which only leads us to the uncomfortable truth that we are all at the mercy of the infinite randomness of the universe…….oh, and some cool stuff happens.

In this informative episode we learn how to turn rations into camo, how to effectively use religious pamphlets as toilet paper, how to arrange rubble into pleasing geometric shapes, and all the things you could do with 112 gallons of water. So make sure to take notes.

In this PG13ish episode, Elrick seems to know things he shouldn’t know, Jake does not not thank another God, Cullen channels his inner Carly Simon, and there is also an arts and crafts disaster.

In this episode our party continues to deal with the Duergar's defenses. Esmir faces off against Jerk Face #1, Jake tries to convince Esmir to go swimming, Elrick gets questioned about his skin sack, and Cullen finally becomes a big boy. Yes it's as confusing as this damn Dwarven hold.

In this episode we spend a day in the life of a bench in a dwarven stronghold. Some Duergar get written up, Secret Santa gifts are exchanged, and a metaphorical hornets nest is kicked over but with some unmetaphorical consequences.

In this rather explicit episode there is a lot of complaining, and frustration, and swearing. There is some grunting and dodging. Esmir communes with a Goddess and some ash holes may or may not get covered. Oh, and there is an inspirational speech at the end. Kind of….

Set in the Sword Coast, this medical drama deals with the personal and professional crises of the heroes in the throne room at Firehammer Hold. From the exciting to the mundane, a day in the frantic hold serves up many interesting dilemmas, as well as heartrending choices for everyone on staff.

In this episode our heroes infiltrate Firehammer Hold and discover flummoxing locks, beautiful mosaics, walls that hate cloaks, and most importantly, how to extinguish your friends if they're on fire.

In this rotten, unkind, grim, and slightly spooky episode we learn things. We learn that Jake has a vehement dislike of vanilla, Cullen is ok with putting cheese up his nose, Esmir is starting a list, and Elrick is having some crazy dreams.

In this Hurdy Gurdy episode our heroes find a nice inviting hostel where they could rest easy until an audience is granted. Yup, nothing weird happens. No one hallucinates. No milky eyes get hit with butts. No one pulls any weeds with both hands. And certainly no Donovan songs are referenced.

In this fun fact-filled episode, we learn about team work, distance fighting, how to analyze an unknown fine powder, how to use tennis balls on a shield, the consistency of human flesh, and that long bathroom breaks is a universal female trait. What! Esmir said it!

Happy Halloween! In this episode we spend time reading magazines in a waiting room, sharing some M&M's, seeing some esthetically cool ravens, and learning that boss battles are sometimes easier than going to a meeting at your friends club house.  

In this episode we find out some things about throat slashing and the gushing of blood, the origins of bologna, and just what kind of person would use dolls to hurt people.

In this episode we delve into the esoteric verbiage used to describe the subset of creatures know as the undead. We also find out the average lifespan of a Gnome and what happens if you push one too far. Oh, and there is also a kitchen remodel.

This sweet episode is full of ballroom dancing, soft green energy, unicorns, fairies, pretty flowers, and tea parties, Awwww…… oh, and foul machinations of hell. Utini! 

In this episode you will learn a few things. First, pools are in fact a lot like wells. Second, shiny things are not always good. Third, disintegration is a fairly straight forward concept. And lastly, there are some things you just shouldn’t poke.  

In this episode we examine the minutiae of dungeoneering like: Don’t wander off, Don’t just grab weird things, Don’t just walk across a new room, and yes, you can roll initiative with disadvantage. 

In this episode the party uses their Friday the 13th logic and work on their magic door opening skills. Here are some tips for you fellow adventures: Say friend and enter, Borble Snap, Fahrvergnügen, Flin Darber, Gorbin Devo. Take notes on what we do! 

In this episode "The Happy Fun Time Friends" get into a sticky situation. It's a musical episode with flying tankards of ale and chair jousting. Some fish get named and a good pie is wasted. Just what you would expect in a D&D game.

In this episode we get some good advice from a cool stoic ranger guy. There is also a crafting hour, a book club is formed, there is some malarkey and shenanigans... Oh, and a shroomnade is gifted.  

This episode is dedicated to our selfless warriors and stalwart supporters: Ken and Jeff along with some worthless human guards, Petey, Bob, Steve, Lunch and Brunch.  

Hey we made it onto Feedspot's Top 80 D&D Podcasts, check it out! 

https://blog.feedspot.com/dnd_podcasts/ 

In this action packed episode, a lot of really bad stuff happens. I mean really bad, like really really bad.  

In this episode our party heads out on a new adventure!  There is lots of cheering and praying and feats of strength, along with some good dietary supplement advice.

Blood and feathers, noble junk, blood soaked rugs, a destroyed bed, ruined paintings, and oh yeah! a decapitated body. No harm no foul. 

Blood and feathers, noble junk, blood soaked rugs, a destroyed bed, ruined paintings, and oh yeah! a decapitated body. No harm no foul.

This rocking episode is chock full of fun. Stage dives, smooth jazz, long solos, ladies….. Until the DM has to ruin it for everyone!  

This episode is brought to you by Albion. Albion, home of the Eldritch Knight and his bonus butt, and the company that makes the little snips of sheep's intestine.  

In this episode our party really makes a name for themselves, well kind of, not really, because they can't decide on one.  

Welcome to season 3!

No fish were harmed in this episode, but a Red Wizard was kicked, got his eyebrows waxed and nose hairs pulled, taunted with snacks, water boarded, starved, got his outfit made fun of, and all that was before he was interrogated!  

In this episode we are reminded that you should always worry when the DM "stops to think", or mentions the weather several times. We are also reminded not to give the DM any ideas and finally, when the DM says someone is "probably ok", they are "probably NOT ok". 

In this educational episode we learn about Gods and cosmic entities, like Cthulhu, Griffins and their grease (not wax), farging vassals, Rambo and the lord of festive balloons. You might want to take notes.  

Jiminy Crackpipes! This episode is packed tight with action! Come witness the hot glaive on glaive action, the levitating Flubnaks, the electrifying piggy back rides, and the floating meat shields. It’s a real cake walk.

Pungent smells, rat carcasses, crouching bestial humanoid carvings, infernal writings, and a hungry bad guy. What else could go wrong? 

In this episode we will explore the nuances of the Twinkle Toes Maneuver, the Esmerelda, getting Thanosed, glitter bombs and just hitting things. 

In this episode our recently exploded party debate the potency of holy water, reap the benefits of the Twinkle, and contemplate the usage of the word Dread.  

In this episode, Esmir may or may not shocking grasp Elrick, the sh*t may or may not hit the fan, and Jake for sure pisses of a Red Wizard.

In this spooky episode the party enters the dusty bowels of Phylund Lodge and proceed to scrutinize, speculate, and step all over each other.  If it wasn’t so spooky it would be embarrassing.

Want to see Jake be invisible, Esmir fumble perfectly, Cullen create a windmill of death, and Elrick's dice jiggle? Well this is the episode for you!  

Listen in as Esmir helps Elrick manage his anger issues, Jake's anger issues are directed at Oghma, and Cullen works on his stealth! Yeah, let's see how that goes.  

In this action packed episode you'll see awesome acrobatics, cartwheels, flame throwing skivvies, and epic fumbles as the party is Rolling high with Oghma! Oh, and Elrick gets enraged, uh oh.  

Listen in to this fun filled episode with Shrinky Dinks, Twinkies, circus acts, meat wagons and a cameo appearance by a Panamanian Dictator. Wait, What! 

Listen in as our heroes try to get a long rest in a dark ancient forest. Surely nothing bad will happen!  

Listen in as Jake gets high on wisdom, Esmir threatens to kill a bush, Cullen slips on a banana peel, and Elrick stabs someone over and over and over…… 

Join us for breakfast with Sir Isteval, where the party learns a valuable lesson about treacherous gnolls and Sir Isteval learns a valuable lesson about tricksy gnomes. 

In this episode things get pretty complicated. There is a murderer on the loose, a cabbage guy shows up, effluence is dodged, skivvies go sliding, Bob Dylan makes a cameo (not really), and some animals are definitely harmed. On the bright side, there is no giant porn.  

Warning: This episode contains Fantasy Violence, Giant Nudity, Frustrated Sexual Content, Absurd Language, Childish Behavior, Famine, Pestilence and Death. No Donkeys or Cats were harmed in the making of this episode. Enjoy!  

Follow along as our adventurers continue their shopping spree. Cullen desperately attempts to haggle with the shop keepers as Jake suddenly ages a few decades. Meanwhile Esmir buys more things than she can carry, and Elrick just wants what's on his list. Oh, and no illegal substances or contraband is purchased, maybe...