Gospel Matrescence

The episode concludes the four-part series on the Rupture & Repair Cycle by looking at four case studies that will help you visualize how the Clearning Model (one aspect of the Rupture & Repair Cycle) looks in various situations.

Listen along and see if you resonate with any of these four case studies.  As you follow along, invite the Holy Spirit to open your eyes to how you can use these resources to become a more whole-hearted communicator and bring the ability to reconcile to your home culture. 

 As you listen to this episode, keep in mind the...

This week we continued discussing the Rupture and Repair Cycle with a focus on children and sibling relationships.  As you listen to this episode, keep in mind the diagram and the weekly check-in questions you can find here - https://docs.google.com/document/d/1e2MSeQU6dxnchMF-K9YaHMCd-m5KXwaIQOJYSu-wNRQ/edit?usp=sharing

How can we take this concept and apply it to conflict within our family?  How can we coach our children to use it with their siblings?  How can we model this 'ministry of reconciliation' (2 Cor 5:11-21) in our homes so that we can increase our...

This week we continued discussing the Rupture and Repair Cycle with a focus on marriage.  As you listen to this episode, keep in mind the diagram and the weekly check-in questions you can find here - https://docs.google.com/document/d/1e2MSeQU6dxnchMF-K9YaHMCd-m5KXwaIQOJYSu-wNRQ/edit?usp=sharing

Throughout the episode, Andie shares how a deep understanding of the Rupture and Repair Cycle can be a great help to improving healthy communication in your marriage and gaining a non-anxious presence in your home.  However, there are times when a marriage is so broken and sin ha...

In any relationship, misunderstandings, hurt feelings, or disagreements happen which lead to a "rupture" in the connection.  The ability to recognize and respond to this rupture is the key to maintaining a non-anxious presence in our homes.  In this episode, Andie introduces us to the seven steps of this cycle and gives a high-level overview that she will build upon in this four-part series as we apply the rupture and repair cycle in our relationships with our children, spouses, extended family, and friends. 

Here is the diagram that is referred to in this episode.  We encourage you to s...

As Christmas approaches, as believers, it is important that we understand the meaning and origins behind some of the traditions we celebrate.  In this episode, Andie digs into some of the myths of the pagan origins of Christmas, the history of the practice of the Twelve Days of Christmas, and offers a free gift for your family!

Here is the link to the article that explains how the early church fathers attempted to calculate the date of the birth of Christ -  https://www.touchstonemag.com/archives/article.php?id=16-10-012-v


Link to...

In this episode, Andie shares five ideas that you can apply to your family as you enter the Advent season.  These traditions will enrich and encourage you to lift your eyes to the gift of the incarnation and the hope of the second coming of Christ. 

Summary of ideas shared:
1. Advent story read-aloud at meal times - Jotham's Journey by Arnold Ytreeide available at Amazon (and other books in the series) 
2. Independent reading time by the Christmas tree
3. Advent Christmas Book Countdown Basket
4. Letters to Jesus Binder - Wrapped in a gift box and...

Do you ever feel like your dopamine system is broken?  Do activities and pleasures that used to bring you joy feel less satisfying?  It may be time for a dopamine reset.  
A dopamine reset is designed to regain control over cheap forms of dopamine through compulsive behavior. By doing this, you can experience a deeper happiness and satisfaction.  The main goal is to learn to see healthy dopamine highs and avoid unhealthy stimuli that cause dopamine crashes.  Learning to pursue healthy dopamine highs through well-timed deprivation can increase your reward sensitivity and happiness.  Listen to learn how!

*N...

Most people would agree that pain is not pleasant.  We often do almost anything we can to avoid pain for ourselves and our children.  However, what if pushing the pain button actually allowed us to experience more pleasure in life?  Our dopamine system always seeks equilibrium, so the more we are willing to feel pain, the easier pleasure will come.  Listen to this episode to change your mindset on pain and find ways to learn to be willing to 'push the pain button' and teach your children to as well!  

*NOTE - The episodes in this series are d...

Have you ever considered the concept of dopamine stewardship?  Our pleasure system is a tremendous gift from our creator, but it can also be significantly abused, much like any gift.  Good stewardship of our dopamine system means accepting both sides of the system - both pain and pleasure.  As you look around society today, there are countless ways that people attempt to hijack the system with supernatural stimuli by pushing the pleasure button through social media, gaming, porn, binge-watching shows, etc.  This episode explores the ways we can resist the temptation to misuse our dopamine system and truly steward this...

How much do you know about the effects dopamine has on your everyday life?  Did you know you were built on purpose with a very sophisticated system that regulates both pain and pleasure?  Do you struggle with anxiety or depression that might be related to a misuse of your dopamine system?  This is the first episode of a four-part series that will help you learn how to hack your reward system and increase the pleasure and joy you experience daily.  

*NOTE - The episodes in this series are designed to be shared with others so we have remo...

Being a mother is a tremendous responsibility.  Sometimes, we view our role as that of an artist designing a blank canvas.  Other times, we see ourselves as gardeners, toiling in the hot sun, hoping for fruit. Today, we will walk through both of these metaphors and look at their implications.  Which style of mothering do you tend towards?    

Have you ever heard the term 'the devouring mother'?  Did you know that this is a tendency that all mothers will face?  And even if you don't struggle with this, doting tendencies are sure to be tempting.  In this episode, we look at the dangers of both of these archetypes and discuss how to avoid these pitfalls!  

Do you wish your children were more peaceful?  Do you wish they were growing in maturity faster? If so, you need to look closer at how much agency you allow your children to have and how much accountability you consistently give them.  In this episode, we look at the drastic change that has taken place in childhood in the last few decades regarding the massive decrease in agency most children experience. We dig into the value of independence for anxious children and even get some wisdom from Charlotte mason on the topic!    

In this episode, Andie reviews a book called Leisure: The Basis of Culture by Joseph Piper.  The concepts in that book reflect four areas of life that require balance for a peaceful lifestyle. Too often, we over- or under-emphasize a particular quadrant and feel the strain that brings. As mothers, it is vital that we learn to look at these four quadrants and ask some questions about the habits and lifestyle we are building and demonstrating to our children. Below is a quick summary of the quadrants Andie explains in this episode:

Hobby - an activity done regularly in one's leisure time for pleasure. Is it even possible for busy mamas to have a hobby?  Isn't it a little selfish to pursue a hobby when your children and family have so many needs?  Why might a hobby be an essential part of healthy motherhood?  Join Andie today as she digs into this concept by reviewing an article called "Why Mama Needs a Hobby."  When you are done listening to this episode, be sure to read the article here.

This is the third episode in the series on Family of Origin work.  You will hear four case study stories that help you gain a deeper understanding of the value of the Family of Origin worksheet, which can be downloaded here - https://gospelmatrescence.com/free-resources/

Remember that our coaching groups are a great place to do your Family of Origin work alongside others who want to grow in their motherhood journey as well.  Visit our website to learn more!  

Last week, we introduced the concept of Family of Origin work as a tool to help us evaluate our childhood experiences and significant relationships.  This week, we will go through each part of the worksheet to help understand how this tool can help us grow past hangups and harmful habits we find ourselves stuck in.  Visit https://gospelmatrescence.com/free-resources/ to download your free copy of this worksheet to look over as you listen!  

Do you have a clear vision of what type of person you deeply desire to be, but the road to get there seems impossible?  Do you want to show up for your family with a peaceful, non-anxious presence but instead keep reverting to unhealthy reactions?  Then this episode is for you. Often, breaking unhealthy belief systems and habits requires us to look back at our family of origin to see where internal programming from our childhood affects us today.  

Visit the Free Printables page of www.GospelMatrescence.com to download the worksheet referenced in this episode.  

In this episode, we take a close look at Luke 1 & 2 as it describes Mary's entrance to motherhood.  Andie pulls out six ways Mary demonstrated a non-anxious presence in her motherhood journey.  Listen along and see if her example inspires you to seek to grow in overcoming anxiety in your own motherhood journey!  

What is the difference between control and influence when it comes to healthy leadership in the home?  How does being a non-anxious presence increase our influence over both our husbands and children?  What can we do if we tend towards control and have lost some of our influence?  Take a listen and find out!  

Continuing with our focus on becoming a non-anxious presence in our home, today we look at six ways mamas tend to expect others to manage their own anxiety.  Displacing and projecting our anxious responses onto those we love can cause great harm to a relationship.  There are ways we can identify these destructive tendencies and repair the harm we have caused.  Let's work on becoming a non-anxious presence in our homes together!  

Here at Gospel Matrescence, we often use the term 'a non-anxious presence,' but what does that really mean?  What does a non-anxious mama look like and how does that impact the family atmosphere?  

Do you ever feel like you are stuck in the same sinful responses that you give to your children or husband?  Can you imagine a clear picture of who you want to be but often feel powerless to get there?  Listen as Andie shares how the 12 spiritual disciplines form a path to spiritual growth and victory in our lives as mamas and wives.  In this episode, she shares specific lessons from the book of Nehemiah that show us how we can use the discipline of feasting and celebration to pull us out of a sin cycle and reorient our hea...

Perhaps one of the greatest challenges of raising children is working together with your spouse in a partnership in each decision you face regarding your children.  However, gaining unity can be difficult when fathers and mothers seem so incredibly different in their approach to parenting.  God intended for a mother's feminine tendencies to bless the family and for the father's masculine characteristics to bless the family as well but what happens when those tendencies are taken too far?  We see the beauty of our differences become profane and tension arises in our homes.  In this episode, we discuss how to b...

Have you ever considered that not being the 'perfect mother' may be in your children's best interest?  Could it be that your striving to meet your child's every need is actually hurting both them and you?  In this episode, we take a look at the work of the British pediatrician and psychoanalyst who coined the phrase 'the good enough mother'.  Take a listen to learn more about this fascinating concept.  

Resources mentioned in this episode are: 

https://www.seleni.org/advice-support/2018/3/14/the-gift-of-the-good-enough-mother

Jordan Peterson Podcast - https://youtu.be/EzDucLhmI50?si=1tRmWoYtj2Up_4vN Duration: 00:22:03

Growing in our emotional intelligence and understanding of our emotional ecosystem requires that we learn to observe our thoughts.  Each of us has thought patterns that hold us back.  Today, Andie shares three common thought patterns that often hold mamas back from growth and transformation.  These three phrases/thoughts are:

Listen to see if you are being affected by any of these thought patterns.  Learn how even small changes to your thoughts have the power to produce wildly different emotions in us!  

How comfortable are you at allowing others to feel the painful consequences of their lack of responsibility?  How often are you tempted to step in with an adaptive or reactive manner that hinders others from taking responsibility?  We can not make another person responsible, the more we try to make them responsible, the less responsible they become.  However, we can reconnect others with the pain of their lack of responsibility in a way that both allows us to remain a non-anxious presence and helps them grow in their personal responsibility.  Learn how to step out of the responsibility triangle in b...

Do you struggle with martyr-mom syndrome?  Are you so busy meeting other's needs that your own go unmet and then you begin to resent the people around you for not meeting your needs?  If so, you are not alone.  Learning to be a non-anxious presence in our homes requires that we take charge of our own needs in such a way that helps us show up authentically and respect those around us.  In this episode, Andie gives four steps to learning to take charge of your own needs, which is especially important during the busy holiday season.  She discusses the C...

In this episode, we discuss a mother's calling to minister outside her home and how vital that is to her well-being and her children's view of the broader body of Christ.  We look at principles that help us balance marriage, motherhood, and ministry.  Andie shares her own experience finding her calling both inside and outside her home and encourages you with four steps to growing in this area! 

In this episode, we take some time to discuss our parenting practices that affect our overall matrescence health.  Andie shares lessons from her parenting journey and the resources that helped her family form a confident practice of shepherding their eight children.  She discusses the role of older mentors in our lives and shares resources that have significantly formed their family's discipleship practices.  The two books mentioned most  in this episode are:

You can find the Child Training Goals Worksheet under the Free Resource tab at Gosp...

In this episode, we discuss mental strength in light of motherhood.  How does a weary mama learn to embrace adversity, chaos, and disorder in such a way that builds antifragility and strength in her home?  How do we parent our own children away from victimhood and towards mental strength when we ourselves feel so weak and fragile?  Three books are mentioned:

Andie draws out lessons learned from each of these books on the neuroscience behind adversity, trauma, and ment...

In this episode, we dig deep into your sexual identity as both a mother and a wife.  There are countless ways that the enemy can distort our view of sexuality and rob our marriages of the gift that God intended for us.  It is time to begin the work to win that back for you and your spouse.  This episode may be the first baby steps toward restoring your sexual soul.  

In this episode, we will discuss the impact motherhood has on both our physical bodies and the way we view our physical bodies.  All too often, mothers struggle to nourish and nurture themselves while they are bearing and caring for children.  We will look at three truths that will renew our minds in this area: 1) Our bodies are tools, 2) Our bodies are a testimony, 3) We must embrace a Christian view of self.  If you have struggled with body image and the effect motherhood has on your body, this episode is for you! 

Today we will dig a bit deeper into the third pillar of healthy matrescence by discussing the emotional experience many moms go through. One of the important roles of every mother is to help her children process their big emotions but how can we do that if we don't understand our own emotional experiences?  What framework do we use for understanding the human heart?  What is the difference between sincere and indulgent emotions?  What does emotional intelligence have to do with matrescence?  Listen and find out! 

In this episode, Andie discusses what it means to have a self-differentiated identity that is rooted in the finished work of Christ rather than your childhood or life experiences.  One hallmark of this is when a mom can show up as a non-anxious presence in her home, even when the anxieties of others run high.  How do we exchange the identity we have gained from our past with the identity Scripture declares we walk in?  If you were able to be a non-anxious presence in your home, how would that affect your day to day life?  Listen and find out...

This is the first episode in an eight-part series that will dig a bit deeper into each of the 8 Pillars of Thriving Matrescence.  Here we discuss the deep need every mother has to be filled with the grace and strength it takes to pour herself out on behalf of her family.  What does a mom do when her own tank runs low?  Who is responsible to replenish her?  What well does she drink from when her own is dry and empty?  

In this episode, we will look at the description of a mother in Psalm 128:3 - a fruitful and thriving vine.  While all women wish this could be true of them, often we find ourselves feeling dry, feeble, and fruitless.  Andie introduced an evaluation tool that will help you take a closer look at the eight pillars of thriving matrescence: