Normalizing Non-Monogamy - Interviews in Polyamory and Swinging

Ryan first started experiencing a cognitive dissonance with regards to relationships pretty much from the beginning of dating in high school. In many ways, relationships just didn’t make sense to him in his twenties so he basically took a break and focused on things he did enjoy rather than trying to force his way into the dating game.

At about age 30 Ryan di...

"It's funny... I was monogamous for nine years with a man and now I'm a lesbian and I'm polyamorous... So, life can really take you by surprise."

There really isn't a better synopsis than that of what our conversation today with Eileen is about. Her story is incredibly powerful and shares echos of previous interviews we've had with women who thought for so...

Nyxie did the serial monogamy approach to relationships from the time they started dating until they were in their early twenties. That's when Nyxie realized they didn't necessarily need to be in a relationship to get many of their needs met and so they began exploring solo polyamory. However, it was the early 2000's and the language didn't quite exist yet so Nyxie affectionately refers to this...

Rowan and Aeryn's relationship began a bit ambiguously about a decade ago and now they've been married for just over four years. They started out as best friends and Aeryn was sort of doing non-monogamy without the labels or framework. By his own admission it wasn't exactly the most ethical approach. As he puts it... "I was not good at monogamy."

In this...

Sarah is back! We last had the pleasure of talking with Sarah back in the beginning of 2022 on Episode 217 and a lot has changed since then... Spoiler alert: Sarah is now a mother! Today, Sarah catches us up on her adventures from the last few years and we dive into her journey into motherhood, how she and her partner navigate dating as new-ish parents, and what her...

Kristen's journey is one of perseverance, resilience, curiosity, and self-discovery. She refers to her thirties as her "waking up period" and her forties as her "sexual self-actualization." Now in her fifties, she feels like everything is integrating together... She currently identifies as a relationship anarchist who's excited about, and open to, the infinite possibilities and uncertainty of life. Kristen's story is incredibly powerful and inspiring and we...

Sonia is back... Again! Sonia joined us on episodes 193 and 388 with her husband Gabriel and this time she's back with her partner Steven who's joining us for the first time. Don't worry! You won't be lost today if you haven't listened to the previous episodes with Sonia and Gabriel.

Sonia and Steven have been together for just over eight years and each of...

Carrie and Drew have been married about 10 years and are high school sweethearts who grew up in pretty religious families with purity culture heavily influencing them both, and their partnership. A few years ago Carrie found a queer content creator and therapist on Instagram who opened her mind to the possibility of choice for herself for the first time in her life.

Around...

Ayala first read The Ethical Slut in high school and actually started dating non-monogamously from the beginning of her relationship explorations. It wasn't until about a decade later that she intentionally set out to see what monogamy was all about.

Today, Ayala identifies as ambiamorous... Content and happy with either monogamy or non-monogamy, depending on the relationship. This interview with Ayala is full...

Courtney and Derek were both on the show separately over the past two weeks and today we're delighted to bring them on together to tell their very own love story! Both of their individual stories are incredible and we definitely recommend listening to them but you will NOT be lost today if you haven't already listened.

Courtney and Derek's story stands on its...

Courtney just turned 50 and has been exploring polyamory and non-monogamy for the last three years or so... However, her story begins long before she and her husband of 16 years opened their relationship in 2022. Today, Courtney takes us all the way back to the first time she had simultaneous crushes at age four... Rocky and Superman!

Today's interview with Courtney is full of laughter...

If you were thinking of skipping this one, consider rethinking that...

Derek first learned about polyamory from one of the original writings on the subject in Green Egg Magazine back in 1990 (see link in show notes below)... He was in his early twenties and showed it to his college girlfriend and they sort of jumped right in! They explored non-monogamy together for a...

Marla has been exploring and practicing non-monogamy for about 20 years after learning about it during their first year of college. After getting out of their last monogamous relationship early in their college experience, Marla fell in love with their best friend and never really looked back. Like many of us, they were kind of making it up as they went and figuring it out along the way.<...

Sarah is an elder Gen Z in her mid to late twenties who feels like she's always been polyamorous but didn't have the words for it. Like many, her initial dating experiences followed the model of serial monogamy, but for her it always felt terrible to "have to" end a decent relationship just because she met someone else she had feelings for. Not anymore!

Cooper and his wife are in their forties with three kids and have been married for over 17 years. While they only "officially" opened their relationship about three years ago it wasn't a completely foreign concept to them when they got together and they always had a mindset and understanding that there was more out there.

Cooper's wife initially brought up the idea of...

Dossie realized in her early twenties that sexuality was her path and that sexuality and feminism would be hand-in-hand in creating the changes she wanted to see in the world, and in herself. In 1969, when she was about 25, Dossie declared she'd never be monogamous again... And she never looked back!

Dossie's story is full of love, laughter, joy, heartbreak, healing, determination, grit, and...

Danielle and her husband have been married for over thirty years and have been exploring non-monogamy together for more than twenty of them. Danielle's husband initially brought up the idea but the concept felt intuitive for both of them so they started tiptoeing into it together. And of course, just because it felt intuitive doesn't mean that there weren't challenges and surprises along the way. 

T...

Jacob and his spouse have been in some form of an open relationship since they got together over 18 years ago. In fact, their relationship actually began as a triad. Today, Jacob takes us along his relationship journey as he and his partner traveled the country living all over and exploring connections and partnerships in their own unique ways.

Jacob is an infant care...

Kels first began experimenting with non-monogamy in her mid-twenties when she and her partner agreed that they could both experiment and play with others while traveling. Since then, Kels has explored a variety of different relationship styles and dynamics as she continues to figure out what's best for her. One of the things we absolutely love about Kels' story is how she approaches life and relationships with...

Johnny started exploring non-monogamy about a decade ago when he and his partner first got together. Their partnership was non-monogamous from the beginning and they moved slowly and intentionally as they figured out what works best for them. They currently define their partnership as "open" and for them that means that everything is on the table for discussion. Join us for this beautiful conversation as Johnny takes...

Jenna and Wendi are back! It's been three and a half years since we last talked to these two lovely humans and we're definitely not waiting that long until the next time! You don't need to go back and listen to Episode 209 to enjoy this conversation but we're pretty sure today's episode will leave you wanting more!

Lots has changed but one thing...

Lola has been exploring non-monogamy since about 2009 and like many of us, their motivation has shifted and evolved along the way. In this powerful interview Lola takes us through their beautiful journey of self-discovery, healing, and untangling the web of misconceptions we're taught about sex, love, and relationships.

Lola Phoenix is an American-born writer living in Sweden, working within digital marketing while trying...

Megan and Brett are back! We last talked to these two just over a year ago on Episode 337 and it's been a busy year! Lots has changed... They still swing together and go to clubs together but they've also started exploring more solo dating, dabbling a bit more in kink, and they even talked about their open relationship style and choices on the pulpit in their congregation! J...

Princess is back! She was first on the show with her partner DD back on episode 322 and today she's here to go a bit deeper on her own individual journey. Princess is a 30-something mother of a college-aged kid and has been practicing some form of non-monogamy for almost 15 years.

Like most of us, she started exploring swinging after responding to an ad...

As Celeste describes it, she's had a long and illustrious journey of exploring different relationships and relationship styles as she continues learning who she is and what works best for her. For so long she tried to fit herself into what she calls "primary possessive partnerships" and unfortunately spent much of her time being triggered. Today, Celeste identifies as "solo open" and has filled her life with...

Genevieve a.k.a. Chill Polyamory makes polyamory education and entertainment on Instagram, TikTok and Patreon. She’s also on YouTube where she reviews polyamory in pop culture @chillpolyamory, and she hosts a non-monogamy storytime podcast called “I could never…”

Check out the full show notes here.

Jet is a 40 year old mother of two girls who has been married for over 20 years, and up until about two years ago she assumed she was monogamous. A few years ago she started to develop a deep friendship with a co-worker and ultimately realized she had fallen in love with him just as he was moving away. She decided to be honest with her husband about...

Sonia and Gabe were originally on the podcast back on Episode 193 and today we have the honor of having them back to talk about how their partnership has shifted and grown since then.

Sonia and Gabe have been together for over two decades and a few years ago they intentionally removed the sexual component of their relationship. In our beautiful conversation today they...

Holly grew up in a super religious and closed-minded environment and started rebelling in her late teens after moving out on her own. She fell in love, married her girlfriend, and a few years later they quit their jobs and bought one-way plane tickets out of the country to learn and explore other ways of living.

While out exploring the world Holly was...

Dani strongly identifies as polyamorous and feels that she was born this way. However, she's only been actively exploring and practicing polyamory for a couple of years. She's currently in a self-proclaimed "midlife crisis era" and has been reimagining and reinventing herself after coming out of a 16-year monogamous marriage.

Spoiler alert! Figuring out what we want in life can be really hard! Dani's explored...

Eka is back! We first talked to her about two and a half years ago on episode 255 when she was just about to have her first child. She's in her mid-thirties and has been exploring non-monogamy in a variety of ways since about 2012.

Since we last spoke, Eka and her partner Em had baby Elle and it's been an adventurous few years! Today...

Cathy and Steve are both in their fifties and have been exploring various forms of non-monogamy since they got together about six years ago. They met through a recovery fellowship program and built a friendship over a few years before they started dating and dipping their toes into non-monogamy as a way for Cathy to explore her bisexuality.

Cathy and Steve come from...

Hilly first joined us on Episode 225 and now she's back to catch us up on all the ways she's been kicking ass over the last three years! She's a 38 year old pansexual, polyamorous, neurodivergent, BDSM practitioner of more than 20 years. She's also an ageplay advocate and educator, and the winner of the title of "Florida Little 2024!" (Edit: In the intro we mention that Hilly is the first...

James is an Australian living in the UK who has been practicing some form of non-monogamy since he met his partner at a kink club in London nearly 20 years ago. He currently describes his flavor of non-monogamy as sitting in the middle of the Venn diagram between kink, polyamory, and swinging... His relationships often blend these three together in some fashion.

James is...

Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month!

Today we're answering questions from our virtual community! First, we talk about how to be the hinge partner in a dynamic where your two partners want nothing to do with one another. And then, we share some of our thoughts on how to maintain and deepen our connection with a partner when we have different libidos, sexual interests, and desires.

Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and...

JoEllen woke up one day in 2011 and knew she needed to make some changes in her life. Not long after that she divorced her husband and sadly, her father passed away. She took about a year to collect herself while she figured out what was next... Coming out of her marriage, she didn't know what she wanted out of life and relationships but she definitely knew what...

Ashley and Mark have such an incredible and inspirational approach to exploring non-monogamy and life in general! They've been together over six years and about two years ago Mark brought up the idea of non-monogamy. They spent a year researching and learning before diving in and going to their first swinging event.

Today they take us through their beautiful story and how they've...

Marie joins us today from Denmark! She has been with her husband for more than a decade and about two years into their partnership they slowly began opening their relationship. They started by going to swinging clubs and getting into the swinging scene for a few years before shifting to dating separately and exploring polyamory.

Marie and her husband never really had a "...

Orit is back! We first talked to Orit back on Episode 309 just as she was starting to go through some major relational shifts and transitions when her nesting partner began dating her recently former partner's other partner.

Today, she takes us inside her healing and grieving journey over the last two years. It hasn't been easy (to say the least!) but as you'll...

Growing up in a small, remote, conservative town in Manitoba Alayna didn't even know that women could be gay... It wasn't a thing she even thought was possible. She was boy crazy in school to the point where her parents and teachers were a bit concerned.

Today she takes us on her beautiful and complicated journey of discovering her own sexuality and ultimately...

Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month!

Today we're answering questions from our virtual community! First, we talk about polyamory breakups and then we follow it by answering a question about NRE (New Relationship Energy).

Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy. Learn more about Meshai and all of her work over at expansiveconnection.com!

...

Molly is so full of positive energy and good vibes! This conversation is an absolute delight and also so powerful as Molly shares her relationship journey and experiences with us. Normally we try to summarize what that looks like but the bio on Molly's website does a much better job than we ever could...

"I’ve always been curious about (maybe even obsessed with) relationships. I’...

Today Jaye takes us through pretty much his entire relationship history and it is an exciting and beautiful ride!

After years of serial monogamy, Jaye and a friend(ish) started swinging together and his whole world began to open up. Shortly after finding the swinging lifestyle, Jaye met his (now) wife and then had to come out to her about swinging and being bisexual.

Kiley and her husband jumped into swinging about four years ago and hit the ground running... Or possibly sprinting. After their first trip to a swingers club they started going to clubs and events frequently and at the same time Kiley decided she wanted to share their journey of learning and exploration on social media.

Kiley takes us through their journey over the last four years as she shares how much of an impact the experience has...

Lizz and Gabriel found one another at an adult rollerskating class a few months after Lizz's husband passed away. Lizz came to their partnership with over twenty years of exploring polyamory with her husband and another longterm partner. Gabriel came to the relationship with zero experience in non-monogamy and had grown up very religious with no concept of relationships other than to meet someone, get married, have kids, and never ever get divorced.

Lizz and Gabriel come...

Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month!

Today we are answering questions from our virtual community! First up, we determine when you're allowed to call yourself non-monogamous. How many partners do you have to have to qualify? Come found out.

Then we talk about how to show up authentically in a non-monogamous partnership when it feels like you can't really be yourself around your loved ones or may not even be able to be out in public at all.

<...

Today George takes us on his powerful relationship journey that spans more than thirty years... For the first ten years he was monogamously married and then separated amicably when he was about 30. In his thirties George remarried but ended up cheating on his wife every few years throughout most of their partnership. She found out early on and they sort of had an unspoken agreement which ultimately ended after about 11 years.

After his second marriage George decided...

Irene's first "serious" dive into exploring non-monogamy came towards the end of her Master's program when she and a new partner both came to their relationship not really wanting monogamy... Yet, neither of them had done this before, they didn't have many resources to guide them, and they were in a brand new relationship together. And, those were just the hurdles they knew existed. Spoiler alert: They ended up finding some hidden ones as well!

As Irene...

Over the last few weeks we have been bringing you updates from Christy, Rebecca, David, and Jason... They've all been on the podcast multiple times before and even came on Episode 143 all together at the start of the pandemic to talk about how they live under one roof. A lot has changed in the last four years and today we dig deep into it in this beautiful conversation.

We highly encourage you to listen to this episode even if...

Christy and Jason met on Fetlife a bit over six years ago and have been together ever since. They've both been on previous episodes (Episodes 46, 72, 143, and 367) but we've never had an opportunity to talk with just the two of them about their relationship and how it came to be.

In this conversation, they take us back to the beginning and share with us how they've grown their partnership from a starting point where they were not at all aligned...

Rebecca is back! David is back!

Rebecca shared her story on Episode 142, David has been on the podcast with his partner Christy on Episodes 72 and 367, and David and Rebecca were both on Episode 143 with their polycule... Yet, Rebecca and David have never been on the show together with just the two of them to share their story.

So, here we are!

David had been polyamorous for a few years when they both swiped...

Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month!

Today we are answering questions from our virtual community... We get a bit personal and talk about our own journeys into the world of coaching and working with people in sex-positive and non-monogamous spaces. We also talk about when and how to have conversations with new potential connections about their approach to non-monogamy and... We make an official ruling on what counts as being in an orgy!

Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family...

"In the half decade since we first spoke... We have moved several times, grown the polycule, and gotten divorced... Oh, and had a baby. Well, me and you didn't have the baby. But, there is a baby in the house!"

Christy and David are back!

It's been more than five years since we first talked with these two on Episode 72 and every time we get the chance to talk it's absolutely amazing... Today is no exception. You do not need to listen to our previous conversations with Christy and David for today to...

HAZL is a passionate and driven 29 year old queer, polyamorous, kinkster, writer, and musician who first learned about non-monogamy when she was 19. She is also an incredible storyteller and takes us on her decade-long relationship journey that's filled triumph, struggles, laughs, and beautiful transformations.

HAZL's story takes us into the familiar messy first few years of exploring polyamory where she's learning and unlearning so much about life and who she is. After a few years she found herself in a monogamous partnership that was her safe space and anchor as she gave everything she had...

Our interview with Fox is full of energy and so much love! Fox and her partner eloped after being together for just a few weeks, and then eight years into their marriage she realized she's queer and polyamorous... They've now been married over 11 years and have been working together for the last few years to redesign their partnership in a way that feels safe, supportive, and authentic for both of them.

Fox's story is a vulnerable, beautiful, and powerful reminder that each of us is continually learning about ourselves, growing, and evolving. As we evolve...

This week we're dressing up for Halloween! Instead of our regular weekly interview we're bringing you episode 377 of the Multiamory Podcast "Polyam Beginners, Healthy Boundaries, and Ethical Hierarchy!"

We don't normally give advice on our show but when you have a chance to tap into the brilliance of Dedeker, Emily, and Jase... You take it!

This is a listener Q+A episode where they discuss:

What was the biggest challenge in your polyam journey, and how did you overcome it?

What are some good steps...

Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month!

Today we are join by the Director of Marketing and Communications at Global Protection Corp. (manufacturers of ONE and MyONE condoms) and we are super excited! Milla is here to talk about and answer all your condom questions in a special ask us anything episode we're calling Condom University! Enjoy!

Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in...

In his early twenties, Dave never really felt like he wanted the same things that everyone else wanted out of relationships. During that time he was mostly single and would find himself breaking off relationships after a few months, before they got serious so nobody got hurt too badly. He wasn't really wanting to find "the one" even though that's what it seemed like he was supposed to be doing.

In his mid-twenties he started finding communities that were at the intersections of sex-positivity, neo-tantra, and polyamory. The support of these various different intentional communities...

Eve takes us all the way back to high school where she first learned about non-monogamy through some friends and even dabbled in a triad for a week or so. After college she got married and a few years later she and her husband started opening up their relationship. Since then, Eve has been on a 20ish-year journey to find what works best for her when it comes to love and relating to others.

Today, Eve identifies as a queer, solo polyamorous, relationship anarchist who prefers a more parallel relationship dynamic as opposed to kitchen...

We are so excited about today's beautiful conversation with Mike! He's been questioning socialized norms that didn't feel right for most of his life... We get deep with him on his experiences uncovering his queerness, questioning monogamy as the best relationship model for himself, and how he navigates ambiguity in different connections. We also talk a lot about mental health, the life-changing impact of therapy for him, and the power of finding the strength to be yourself, especially when it means pushing against everything you've been conditioned with for your whole life. This is a powerful conversation and we...

Over the last three weeks you've heard Ava, Pinky, and Anthony tell their individual stories... Today, we bring them together to hear how three people with different backgrounds, experience levels, and relationship preferences come together to create a beautiful relational ecosystem that works for each of them... Even if it's not always perfect. Enjoy!

Earlier this year Ava, Pinky, and Anthony started a new podcast called Three Shades of Grey where they talk about the ups and downs of exploring non-monogamy in three very different ways and how the three of them make it work t...

Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month!

This month's incredible questions come from our private community and are about moving at different paces when opening up a relationship and whether or not you should share your feelings with someone when your interests lie outside of the agreements of another relationship of theirs. Juicy stuff!

Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy.

<...

Pinky lives life with a whole lot of zest and enthusiasm! And, as she describes it, sometimes a bit impatiently. Although, we might argue that her impatience could be attributed to some built up excitement!

I tried writing more about Pinky but her bio over on her website at 3shadesofgrey.com captured it much better than I was able to:

I was born and raised into a religious, and conservative family. Women were taught to not be heard or to put their needs and wants first. As I grew, I found...

Today, Ava identifies as a polyamorous, kinky, swinger... Yet, for most of her life she worked really hard to play by the rules doing what she was "supposed to be doing." And then, in 2018, a friend invited her to an adult Christmas party. It turned out to be a life-changing party!

We loved Ava's description of herself in her bio over at 3shadesofgrey.com and so we borrowed it to help give you a better idea this amazing human!

Hello, my salacious friends, I am Ava Moore. I have been non-monogamous...

Anthony has always felt like he was a bit different and questioned everything. Even questioning things so much that he was once asked to not return to Bible school as a child. Years later, while working as a club promoter he met a dominatrix who invited him to his first dungeon party and life hasn't quite been the same since...

Even though his first experience was a bit traumatic for him, a new world of possibilities opened up and he began exploring. Over the last twenty-ish years Anthony has been exploring non-monogamy through swinging (partnered...

Andrea grew up in a fairly conservative suburb and first came out in the queer and leather communities around 2000-2001 after joining the circus. For them, non-monogamy came as part of the queer and kinky package. Over the next decade-ish Andrea explored many different phases and configurations of kink and non-monogamy before a series of serious health issues turned their life upside down. These same health issues also robbed Andrea of their ability and capacity to relate in the same ways and to experience the same kinds of pleasure and enjoyment out of sex and kink as they had...

We always love when we get to bring guests back on the show for an update and today is definitely no exception! The last time we talked to these four was back in 2019 on Episode 71 and while so much has changed, the love between these four has only grown deeper. And it sure is a good thing because they all got matching tattoos pretty early on!

Over the last five years they've transitioned to a long distance relationship and then back to living in the same city, they've broken up and gotten back together, they've...

Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month! However... This month we have a special guest!

Today's questions are all about finances and money and we have an incredible author, coach, and fellow podcaster Laura Boyle joining us!

Laura just published her second book, "Monogamy? In This Economy?: Finances, Childrearing, and Other Practical Concerns of Polyamory" and she's also the creator of readyforpolyamory.com where you can find more information about all of her fantastic work!

Quick note...

Today we get to hear an incredible New York Love Story like no other! Bear is a Black queer man of trans experience, born, raised and currently residing in Brooklyn, NY. Fifi is a first-generation queer, non-binary Puerto Rican born, raised, and also living in New York. And together they have forged a partnership that is uniquely theirs and is mutually uplifting while defying the status quo of what everyone says a relationship "should" be.

They describe themselves as solo polyamorists who live together as a family and run a business together. They met over...

In her early twenties Mae repeatedly found herself in a cycle of getting into a relationship, developing feelings for someone else, fighting them off for a while and then ultimately cheating and blowing it up only to do it all over again. Then a friend invited her to a kink event which lead to her first dungeon party which changed her life forever... For about the next seven years Mae was consumed on an adventure exploring events, parties, connections, and what was possible in life, love, and pleasure.

Today, Mae is exploring her own flavor...

Jen identifies as a queer, pansexual, non-binary, relationship anarchist and has been living with their partner for over 12 years. However, that's not how things looked 12 years ago when they got together!

Jen grew up in Ireland where cultural and religious norms didn't leave much room for being different in any way. Their first exposure to something new and different came during university... However, Jen's biggest changes started when they found an amazing therapist after moving to Scotland.

Therapy was a pivotal moment in Jen's life and gave them space to start...

"It's been a beautiful journey so far... But oh so messy!"

Christa Lei and their partner originally opened their relationship into a "don't ask, don't tell" dynamic, even though neither of them ever acted on it. Eventually, they gave it a little more thought and made a shift to a more integrated kitchen-table poly dynamic, which is how they've now been exploring for the last few years.

Christa's not here to pretend like everything is always easy and perfect. Navigating relationships can be really hard and they've found a lot of...

Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month! However... This month we have a special guest!

Today's questions are all about compersion and we have one of the world's leading experts on the subject joining us! Dr. Marie Thouin is a dating and relationship coach as well as the author of the new book "What is compersion?" You can learn more about Marie and her work at www.whatiscompersion.com.

You can also save 25% if you order your copy of her book...

Today's interview with Flora and Andy is so full of love and zest for life! The last seven years have been full of adventure for these two... They met on Grinder in 2017, got married a few years later, and then a few years ago decided to open their relationship up after a series of infidelities.

Today they practice their own form of non-hierarchical polyamory after...

From a very young age Sandy had lots of crushes, loved kissing boys, and felt very free. Unfortunately, she learned very quickly how judgmental people are when she started getting called names at school and the shame started to creep in. She learned to hide parts of herself in order to fit in during high school but then in college she learned that "being queer" was actually a thing.<...

Billy is a bit of a self-described hopeless romantic with a romanticized view of love and relationships. He tried out monogamy for about 14 months as a freshman in college, however, having lots of sex and sexual adventures was never really his goal (not that he's complaining). He would often find himself falling for women and when he'd share his feelings they'd express their interest in continuing to hookup, but...

Our conversation today with Kathy is so beautiful, full of energy, and powerful. She is a vibrant 49 year old bisexual proud mother of a newly minted teen and she has been "officially" exploring non-monogamy for the last few years. Yet, as you'll hear, Kathy has always been a bit rebellious and unconventional. She loves to play and experiment, and she lives life very intentionally.

Kathy...

Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month!

Today's questions are about exploring swinging while also in a quad and whether or not size matters and impacts men's ability to find success in the lifestyle.

If YOU have a question, we'd love to hear it! Please, ask us anything by clicking here!

We are super excited to be partnering with Meshai for the Ask Us Anything episodes! She first appeared on the podcast on Episode 233 and we're honored t...

Michael and his wife have been exploring non-monogamy since just before they got married about seven years ago. The conversation initially came up after an infidelity which set them on a path of healing, rebuilding, and ultimately exploration.

This week’s interview is a little different than our normal interviews as it focuses a bit less on Michael’s personal journey while we dig into how...

Taylor and Kuran have been together since 2017 and have an incredibly unique and beautiful relationship dynamic. We talk with lots of people in mono/poly dynamics, where one person is monogamous and the other is polyamorous... However, it's rare to find a monogamous person in this type of relationship that's as enthusiastically supportive, excited, and full of compersion as Kuran is for Taylor!

He initially...

Aria is a bisexual, demisexual, sapiosexual, polyamorous, queer woman who's been exploring non-monogamy for over a decade. During our conversation she takes us through her beautiful story and how she's come to discover all of these amazing parts of herself along her journey. Her flavor of non-monogamy has gone through many iterations over the years and she shares many of the lessons and tools she's learned along the way.<...

Ally has been exploring non-monogamy for about the past eight years but her fascination with relationships and human connection started quite early in life. As she explains it, she never really had the "cooties phase" growing up. Yet, like many of us, she learned to hide her sexuality early on, as well.

Up until 2016 Ally's primary relationship style was serial monogamy. This ultimately led her to have a conversation with a partner about opening their relationship. They came up...

Mrs. N and Mr. N have been together nearly twenty years and started fantasizing together early on in their partnership. Their rich fantasy life together eventually turned into a reality a few years into their relationship. Things moved very slowly for years and eventually they found their sweet spot exploring swinging and hotwifing, or as they like to call it... "The Naughty Hobby"

Their journeys in non-monogamy have been powerful in many ways for both of them. Before meeting...

Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month!

Today's questions are about tips and strategies for navigating drop AND embracing mismatched libidos in a triad.

If YOU have a question, we'd love to hear it! Please, ask us anything by clicking here!

We are super excited to be partnering with Meshai for the Ask Us Anything episodes! She first appeared on the podcast on Episode 233 and we're honored to have her back!

Meshai is r...

Like many of us, Brett started initially exploring non-monogamy before he had the language to describe it or a framework to understand it. Initially, he was in a long-distance relationship that had an agreement around being open. He eventually moved to the San Francisco Bay Area where his relational world opened up even further.

Upon arriving in The Bay, Brett found himself living with a polyamorous couple, exploring the the vibrant play party scene, and getting involved with various...

Jessica is in her mid-thirties and has been practicing non-monogamy for over 11 years. From a very young age she decided she didn't want to follow the traditional relationship scripts and norms that most people do.

When she started dating in college, she was very intentional about moving into non-monogamy with her partner from the very beginning of their relationship. Even though they were very intentional about what they were doing and how they were relating, they didn't have the...

Abbey and Liam have been together for over 12 years and in an open relationship for about 10 of them. They initially started by exploring the idea as a fantasy through talking and sharing sexy stories back and forth on a private Tumblr page.

Eventually, the fantasy turned into "Hey... Ya know, we could actually do this." which inspired them to begin exploring the New York City swinging world as they slowly opened their relationship. Today, their flavor of non-monogamy is...

Daniel feels he was born polyamorous but it took him until about eight years ago to stop conforming to monogamy. He was in a monogamous partnership for about 18 years which transitioned into a beautiful friendship that has lasted until today, instead of just blowing up in a spiteful mess. This was his catalyst to exploring different ways of relating and ultimately polyamory.

At the core of Daniel's story is an incredibly beautiful journey of self-discovery, personal exploration and growth...

Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month!

Today's questions are about how to persevere when it feels like it's been hard for a while AND what information is ours to share about our partners and how do we do it in a way that feels good for them.

If YOU have a question, we'd love to hear it! Please, ask us anything by clicking here!

We are super excited to be partnering with Meshai for the Ask Us Anything...

Megan and Brett have been together for over 18 years and have been married for over 13. The idea of non-monogamy marinated in the background of their relationship for many years before they sort of both leaned into it around the same time a few years ago. They opened their relationship in a slow and calculated way and now find themselves in the beautiful grey area where they're a little too swingery for the polyamorous people, a little too polyamorous for the swinging community, a...

Kat is a polyamorous queer woman in her mid-thirties who has been pushing against the status quo her whole life as she strives to be her authentic self and live a life full of joy.

Kat grew up in the Baptist Church and had even taken a vow of chastity when she was 14. Also, things aren't quite that straightforward... Her first make-out session was with a group of friends before they all went to the movies in high school...

Mara and Mike have been together for almost 25 years and married for almost 20 of them... They've also been in some form of an open relationship pretty much the entire time.

Lucky for us, they've organized their relationship into six phases! They walk us through each phase as they share all of the different ways they've related to one another and with themselves. We cover everything from their early days of swinging, the challenging duality of being a professional and...

We are so excited to have Dr. Evelin Dacker back after more than four years... And this time, she's here to tell her incredibly powerful personal story!

Dr. Dacker takes us on her journey of self-discovery over the course of more than three decades of being in relationships. She remembers having compersion from a very young age, even if she didn't have the words for it, and she's always felt like she was non-monogamous. Yet, like many, she got...

Romi has always been an insatiably curious person who questions the status quo. This combination has led him to a life full of incredible adventures and human connection.

Romi describes the first decade of his marriage as "monogamous, yet adventurous..." and he takes us along for the ride as he tells his powerful story of self-discovery. Today, he's a father with multiple deep partnerships and is in a polyamorous marriage.

Not only does Romi live...

Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month!

Today's questions are about balancing breaking up with one partner while being madly in love with another AND what things should be considered when deciding whether or not to be more "out" about being non-monogamous.

If YOU have a question, we'd love to hear it! Please, ask us anything by clicking here!

We are super excited to be partnering with Meshai for the Ask Us Anything episodes! She first appeared on the...

Jules has explored a variety of relationship styles in her life and her preference would be to be non-monogamous. Yet, she has very intentionally chosen a monogamous life and partnership with her husband. We have an incredibly powerful conversation about the unavoidable grief that comes with nearly every choice we make in life. Jules also weaves her story with so many amazing communication and relationship tools.

Juliane Taylor Shore, LMFT, LPC, SEP, is a therapist, author, and teacher who is creating...

Nikita grew up in India and came to the US about seven years ago when she was 19. As she began to embrace her queerness she started learning about new relationship structures and ultimately found non-monogamy through the kink scene in New York City. For the past few years she has been exploring solo polyamory and shares with us her beautiful, powerful, and challenging journey. For her, being non-monogamous is part of her identity and she sees it as an extension of her queerness.

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Jill and Jack are back and this conversation is so powerful! This interview stands on its own. You do not need to have listened to their first episode to get a ton out of this conversation.

Their initial interview on Episode 97 was less than a year into their non-monogamous adventure together. They have spent the last four years doing absolutely mind-blowing work on themselves and their partnership. Today, they share how they have arrived in the best place they've ever been.<...

Today (February 28) is Metamour Day and we're so excited to be celebrating with Anna! While Metamour relationships are definitely a vibrant theme in this interview, we also dig into so much more!

Anna is an incredible artist, writer, counselor, and storyteller who is filled with deep love, compassion, and joy... They bring all of this and more to our conversation in a beautifully vulnerable and gentle way. This isn't an episode to be skipping.

Anna learned about non-monogamy during graduate school after having their heart completely shattered...

Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month!

Today's questions are about advice for a couple who is new to non-monogamy and they're in a mono/poly dynamic AND how do we meet our partners desires without giving up who we are if the two are not fully aligned.

If YOU have a question, we'd love to hear it! Please, ask us anything by clicking here!

We are super excited to be partnering with Meshai for the Ask Us Anything...