The Story in My Head: Healing & Self-Improvement for the Lazy

Happy Thanksgiving!  This mid-week quickie (Q) is the story in my head about giving thanks. 

gratitude, self care, transition, holidays, self esteem, change, acceptance, joy 

One may say you can't have courage without first having fear.  I'm learning to navigate having both at the same time and it's hard to do!  At times, fear wins. Other times I seem to have more courage. Either way, as I am moving between the two; I am loosening my grip and learning to let go.  Here's the latest story in my head.

anxiety, fear, courage, change, transition, moving forward, progress, letting go

It's hard for most of us to accept situations we don't like.  However, it is a critical aspect of change.  Not liking where we are motivates us to get moving! If you don't like where you are, work on getting ready for where you want to be.  Don't waste energy on criticizing how you got here, use your energy to prepare for where you are going! 

awareness, acceptance, action, change, self care, relationships, feeling stuck, motivation 

Have you been told you overreact? Do you react rather than respond? You are like me.  The stories in our heads are never an exact match to the reality of a situation. How accurate is your story? For it is the story we mostly react to! 

Today's quickie is a dare.  I DARE YOU to explore and gather more pieces to your puzzle!!!!    

overreaction, relationships, communication, change, anxiety, depression, fear, self awareness, addiction, marriage 

I woke up with an attitude problem.  I had a poor attitude about myself and the way I was talking to myself was the problem.  My self esteem needed some adjustments.  For me, that means the Story in My Head needs adjusting!  Here's a mid-week quickie about raising my self esteem one step at a time. 

self esteem, self worth, self love, self like, self care, change, trust, respect, acceptance  

It sucks when we are faced with a decision to make or a problem to solve and we don't know what to do.  At times we have too many options, at times there seems to be too few.  The worst times are when can't perceive of options we like!  Regardless, we all know feeling stuck or trapped SUCKS!  Here's a mid-week quickie on decision making.  This time, use your change (yep, coins!) to help you make a change.  Just an experiment.  Try it! Ya just may change the way you see things.  And when we change the way we see the...

The Story in My Head often leads to expectations.... unrealistic ones!  And to be honest I've had expectations of how people around me 'should communicate, should behave, and should provide' whenever I am experiencing angst or am in a crisis.  Well, needless to say, my unrealistic expectations were not met and I was angry about it!!!  I was hurt and I felt more alone.  Today's quickie is about knowing we are not alone, even when we feel as though we are.  Cause most of the time when we are in crisis, those around us are in crisis too!  Let's give o...

This mid-week quickie starts fun and ends serious.  This Story in My Head begins dark and smelly, and now offers me permission to feel proud of myself.  Celebrate your skills, successes, accomplishments and talents.

Success, humility, arrogance, conceit, self care, pride, self love, change, self esteem

Kudos to Kate!

Today I am practicing new coping skills to help reduce stress and anxiety.  I've learned I need to practice when I am NOT feeling stressed or overwhelmed.  I'm committed to setting myself up for success; and I invite you to join me in my latest experiment.  Today we are going to practice Being Present. 

anxiety, grief, depression, addiction, stress, coping, change, transformation, present, awareness

Over the last week I have used visualization to help me inventory the tools I have to reduce anxiety, and then to begin creating an Anxiety Toolbelt.  The process has been more difficult than I had expected.  The process has proven quite effective in increasing my self awareness about the coping mechanisms I currently use, as well as the ones I want to practice.    

anxiety, depression, grief, self awareness, honesty, change, transformation, coping

I'm starting a new project...REDUCING ANXIETY!  I am motivated to do the work required to make changes.  I am determined to tackle this project honestly.  I am hopeful I will succeed in this project once I have the right tools for the job.  Today I began building my Anxiety Toolkit.  

anxiety, fear, stress, coping, change, self talk, self aware, self esteem, self care  

We all have stories of good versus evil, the heroes and the villains, the good guys versus the bad guys.  Where do your stories come from?  Are they based in YOUR experiences or someone else's?  The villainous characters in the stories in our heads are just that...characters!  Sometimes we need to change the story, and sometimes we just need to change the characters.  This is my story of how the villain in my head changed, which completely changed the story and me!  

mental health, disability, addiction, poverty, racism, sexism, bias, CHANGE 

The Story in My Head this week was a product of my insecurities, my attitude and my imagination!  I re-told an event in my head several times, and I changed it slightly each time.  I ended up with a whole new version of the event and shot myself in the foot.  Here is a mid-week quickie about changing the tone of your story. 

anxiety, insecurity, communication, relationships, change, tone of voice, self awareness

The Story in My Head about being a failure changed dramatically (and quickly) when a man in a coffee shop called me a failure... and my insides went nuts!  Today's mid-week quickly is my experience changing my definition of being a failure.  

anxiety, depression, failure, success, change, transition, self image, self esteem, self acceptance, self love  

The Story in My Head has completed creating Frank the Forgiveness Octopus.  Today's quickie is the fifth segment of my story...my journey of forgiving myself and others. 

forgiveness, amends, relationships, self care, transformation, healing, grief, addiction, change, marriage, communication  

The Story in My Head has a main character named Frank.  He's a forgiveness octopus.  I'm focusing on the 8th aspect (Frank's leg, tenticle, arm) of my forgiveness octopus...forgiving myself!  Today's quickie is the fourth part of my story...my journey towards forgiving myself and others. 

forgiveness, self esteem, worth, anxiety, depression, relationships, self care, transformation, healing, grief, addiction, change, authenticity 

I've decided it will be helpful for me to practice apologizing and asking for forgiveness.  The Story in My Head has told me making amends is just too hard to do sometimes.  I want to practice and make it easier.  Today's quickie is the third part of my story...my journey towards forgiving myself and others. 

forgiveness, apologies, amends, relationships, self care, transformation, healing, grief, addiction, change, marriage, parenting 

I've decided it will be helpful for me to practice forgiveness.  The Story in My Head about forgiveness is a long one and I'm working to sort it all out.  Today's quickie is the second part of my story...my journey towards forgiving myself and others. 

forgiveness, amends, relationships, self care, transformation, healing, grief, addiction, change, marriage, parenting

I've decided it will be helpful for me to practice forgiveness.  The Story in My Head poses a lot of questions about forgiveness.  Today's quickie is the first part of my story...my journey towards forgiving myself and others. 

forgiveness, amends, relationships, self care, transformation, healing, grief, addiction, change, marriage, parenting 

Even as an adult, the Story in My Head still includes a longing for and at times a need for permission.  Permission to act, to speak, to react, to change.  At times I feel a desire for someone to offer permission for me to be me!!!!  In this mid-week quickie I'm changing the Story in My Head by giving myself some permission. 

self care, self awareness, acceptance, forgiveness, change, decision making  

Pushing boundaries is part of human nature.  It allows our curiosity to wonder and it encourages us to explore new things.  We push boundaries to investigate the consequences and discover our limits.  But when someone pushes MY boundaries? I get pissed! Today I'm working to have realistic expectations about my boundaries.  People are gonna push them.  So I'm gonna tighten them to keep myself and my feelings safe.  Check it out.     

boundaries, expectations, change, relationships, communication, marriage, friendship, self care, self love 

Letting Go seems daunting at times.  Today I present a mid-week quickie visualization to experiment with for yourself.  I've practiced it a lot and found it to be helpful so I decided to share this Story in My Head. 

boundaries, change, letting go, relationships, marriage, parenting, addiction, self care

The boundary between helping and enabling is not always clear.  In my quest to set new and healthier boundaries for myself, I must first admit I often enable my loved ones (and myself).  I'm sharing the Story in My Head about my enabling, and the questions I am asking myself to help me STOP!  In honor of Lauren, the Crazy Lady!  

boundaries, relationships, recovery, addiction, co-dependency, self care, parenting, marriage, change

Minding my own business has proven to be more difficult than one may expect.  There are so many instances I find myself using my time, energy and attention on things that do not serve me or move me in the direction I want to go!  Your business is a distraction to me and this week I became aware I want to set a new boundary...How much time and energy am I willing to spend on someone else's business versus my own?

Mindfulness, awareness, boundaries, focus, change, distractions, attention, self care    

Its time for me to re-evaluate and set some new boundaries.  But where do I begin? At the beginning of the Story in My Head of course! Here's a mid-week quickie to start thinking about new boundaries.

Boundaries, change, relationships, self care, mindfulness, awareness, mental health

Whatever thoughts I am focusing on in this moment determines the direction my body will go in the next moment.  If I want to change my direction, I must change my focus.  This is easier said than done!!!  When I'm having a hard time not focusing on the Story in My Head, I'm learning to focus on a feet instead.  Strange!  

Focus, Change, Mindfulness, Awareness, ADHD, ADD, Goals, Direction 

I got sick and had to put all of my energy and focus on my healing.  Everything else became less of a priority; as though it nothing outside of myself existed.  I started to become aware of all the signals my body gives me. The good, the bad and the urgent!!! I also started to become aware of all the signals I ignore. Then came a new, quick experiment to try.  I'm going to practice taking a few minutes each day being still and quiet.  I'm going to practice listening to my body.  

self aware...

Ever judged how long it takes you to heal, grieve, change?  Me too!  And now I want to stop.  Here's a quickie about embracing your natural pace. 

depression, anxiety, grief, healing, change, motivation, goals, timing

I'm not saying a "Service Agreement" in a romantic relationship is sexy, yet I am suggesting some form of a maintenance schedule to 'check in' on how things are going.  Like taking our favorite vehicle to the shop for an oil change; our relationships are worth the time, hassle and cost of our attention and service.    

Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Friendship, Parenting, Conflict, Communication  

In honor of my friend who encouraged me to tell this Story in My Head about feeling overwhelmed and viewing the feeling as 'getting prepared' for the next adventure!  Hope you enjoy this mid-week Quickie about stress, stamina and new challenges. 

Overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, burned out, change, coping, challenges, capacity 

I'm beginning to learn how beneficial it is to 'speak my truth'.  To me that's not just about being honest.  It's about telling the story in my head, sharing the experience I am having, showing someone else my perspective and asking others to show me  their points of view.  Here's a quickie exploring how I and others take in the world.

Perspective, communication, relationships, conflict, old patterns, self care, change

I once saw a moose in a public bathroom.  It took me kneeling down on the gross floor in order to see it.  Sometimes it takes getting dirty to see something different or new.  For your mid-week quickie... GET DIRTY!!!!!! 

perspective, change, growth, healing, relationships, communication

I'm grieving the death of a dear friend.  The story in my head is telling me no one can relate and everyone is saying stupid shit!!!  In truth, I know we can all relate to loss and most of us have no idea what to say to someone who is grieving.  Today I am just telling my story and owning my shit. 

Grief, loss, addiction, fear, sadness, love, loneliness, hope, change 

Everybody loves a 'quickie'!  Here is a quickie about... well...self worth, feeling valuable, aging gracefully, appreciation, treasuring the self and things kinda like that.  Its me writing the Story in My Head about my body being my vehicle for this roller coaster we call life. My body is a unique and beautiful treasure worthy of my time, money and energy. So is yours!!!    

Everybody loves a "quickie".  Today I am offering a 'quickie' about anxiety.  I'm learning there are times my anxiety is NOT due to a threat (either real or perceived), but rather due to my diet!  Too much sugar, caffeine, artificial colors and flavors and the like can lead me to the exact same feeling in my body as fear.  I have eaten my way into feeling anxious and I'm tired of it!!!!   

When I think about Margins of Error, I think about numbers and engineering and architecture.  But when it comes to human interactions, I call margins of error 'grace'.  And I extend more grace to others than I extent to myself.  I'm working to change this and today's episode describes my current process and explores changes I can make to the Story in my Head.  Beware, I am a beginner!!!!!!!

greetings from PodFest2025

We often get caught up in what we think matters to our spouse, our children, our parents, our boss, and the like.  When was the last time we wondered what matters to us?!? Today I am exploring what really matters to me and experimenting with being open to new things.  

Last Christmas my father and I spoke for the last time before he passed away January 4th 2024.  That day he gifted me FORGIVENESS, and extended me permission to begin forgiving myself.  Today I am beginning a new experiment by reminding myself my past is forgiven, is not worth repeating and no longer needs space in the Story in My Head. Happy Holidays!!! 

I was afraid and could not figure out how to change the story in my head.  I was ruminating on the 'what ifs' and was struggling to change my thinking into anything other than a scary situation!  In desperation I gave myself what i wanted someone else to give me...a hug.  My fears were eased and since then I've been  giving myself all kinds of things that I'd like to receive from the world. My newest experiment...hug, smile at, compliment, listen to, laugh at and enjoy myself.  Let's see what this does to my story!  

I hear people talk about 'cultivating' peace, joy, whatever and it seems like a lot of work.  I like quick, easy and free.  Can finding more peace be quick, easy and free?  I think so.  One new experiment at a time.  Today, I am trying to grow my sense of peace like I would try to grow a Weeping Willow.  

Most if us struggle with anger, be it when we are angry or when we are around someone who is angry.  It is an uncomfortable emotion that all of us experience more often than we prefer.  And it is an emotion most of us are not taught how to handle without creating some form of harm.  If we work to accept anger for what it is and not try to translate what it means, will be get more comfortable with anger? I don't know.  It's my latest experiment.  I am going to practice being angry without trying to do anyth...

I feel like FEAR is all around me.  Real events, threats and fears that are broadcast on all media outlets 24 hours a day; as well as perceived events, threats and fears I tell myself with the Stories in My Head.  I am tired of living in fear.  I need a break!  I am going on a Fear Diet. I am asking those around me AND MYSELF to pause from talking about those things that make us feel afraid. I am reducing my fear intake!!!  

The holiday season can be a stressful time of year for a lot of reasons.  For  Thanksgiving, I've decided to give myself a Worry Free Day.  The story in my head for Thanksgiving 2024 is "Choose to be greatful, decide to not worry and remember everything is going to be okay."  Happy Ok Day!!!

One of the most powerful stories in my head narrates how I see myself.  If I want to change the stories that lower my self esteem, I want to focus on the parts of myself I like.  And when I see parts of myself I don't find favorable, I can shift my focus from "that's an ugly part" to "That's a part I am willing to change"! 

In working to re-write many of the stories in my head, I'm learning there are times re-writing them keeps my focus on the story itself. It may serve me better to shift my focus to a different story!  In changing my focus away from an old story I've been re-telling to a different story all together, I've changed the narrative completely!  Ignoring something for a while can be the best thing I can do for myself. 

When I have the opportunity to doing something new; the stories in my head are quick to outline all the ways I can get hurt, embarrassed or otherwise fail.  I'm learning the stories in my head are most often wrong, and I am working to change the narrative.  Today I am giving myself permission to try something new even if I get a little embarrassed while I am learning new skills.  Scary!    

Saying "no" can be very difficult.  It is also necessary, loving and... I'm recently learning... an act of Self Care.  I'm practicing the Art of Saying No as a way to love others as well as myself.  

Sometimes LIFE shoots holes in our plans, our goals and our dreams. It takes a lot of energy to change directions!!!  I'm learning to keep an 'energy reserve' for difficult times versus living in my reserves and feeling empty. 

Many days after Hurricane Helene, I wander around Asheville NC and see the vast resources that have been donated to my area.  There are no words to express the gratitude felt by all of us receiving your blessings!!!  I know many of us have gone from Surviver's Guilt, through feeling guilty taking donations, to experiencing guilty pleasures in moments of 'normalcy'.  I find the stories in my head have shifted from those of crisis to those of gratitude.  And I feel myself exhale!   

On approximately day 10 of the affects of Hurricane Helene in Asheville; I along with everyone and everything else am covered in dirt, germs and grit. In this episode recorded with background noises and a shotty connection, I describe the grit of my surroundings and realize the GRIT of the HUMAN SPIRIT is what is most prevalent and powerful! 

This week there are no stories in my head.  I can't complete a single thought right now. I am on day 7 of the aftermath on Hurricane Helene in Asheville, NC.  All major systems in my home town are broken, and the systems within myself are severly damaged. I feel giddy, grateful and guilty all at the same time.   

I live in Western NC and 5 days ago experienced Hurricane Helene.  Im practicing Gratitude and this week I have found it to be a skill to be practiced, as well as a form of self care!  This episode is dedicated to my dad, Bob "Snoop BobbyBob" Pearson.   

The story in my head has fueled fear, depression, and resentment.  Now I'm investigating what happens when I share the story in my head with someone I've hurt as an intro to making amends and a beginning to healing. 

Intimacy is tricky business. Especially when it becomes clear people define intimacy in a lot of different ways. I wonder if we have an Intimacy Language?  My mission to learn more about intimacy led me to discover an experiment about contentment.  Strange I know but sometimes the stories in my head begin in one place and end in a very different space all together!

Many times I have been accused of "over-reacting" when I thought I was just "reacting" to the situation in front of me. In actuality, I react to the situation I THINK is in front of me, as seen through the eyes of all of my past experiences AND limited by lack of experience.  I'm learning to slow down, gather information, sort through my feelings and RESPOND for a change.        

Most of the stories that I carry with me into adulthood began in my childhood.  I'm looking honestly at the roots of my stories and I'm realizing the original story-teller may not be telling "truth".  I'm working to re-write My Story... to write My Truth.  This is part of my process...

I've been told I have 'trust issues' and 'to just have faith'. That's tricky when I had lost all faith in myself, in people and in a Higher Power. Now, I'm working to change the way I see my past so I can practice trusting ME and having faith again.  

I tell stories even in my sleep, and at times my dreams lead me to new questions and new discoveries. Or at least a new experiment! This time I'm working to re-write my "to-do" list. 

When I think about being "triggered" by someone or something, I get irritated.  Why?  Maybe cause it seems like there is no 'safety mechanism' in place and it feels out of control.  I'm working to find some space between feeling triggered and reacting to whatever has just transpired.  This is my story of finding my safety. 

This is the story of when I said to myself "I CAN" when I could not.  What we can't do is as valuable as what we can do... as long as we keep both in mind and not focus solely on one or the other.  

Ever acted outside of your norm in a relationship?  Ever acted like a lunatic even when you didn't want to? I have and I compare it to flying on a airplane... and how I react when the flight starts to go terribly wrong.    

Working to re-write the narrative in my head, I am learning to leave the feeling behind and take the lesson forward.  The stories I tell myself fuel my emotions and affect my behaviors.  I am not yet able to "forgive and forget", but I CAN work to remember my past and leave the feelings 'back then'.  

Another story, another 'rambling' and another experiment.  Digging out of the old and into the new requires dedication, exploration and hard work.  I myself prefer to be a bit lazy!  Here's some of the story of how I changed my story from the comfort of my couch.  Life's a roller coaster ride...

Part 2 of my rambling about pain, injury and trauma as I share the story in my head about judging my shitty experiences and those of others.  

I was once told that our pains, injuries and traumas are like acne.... they each  require time and attention to heal.  Sometimes our pains, injuries and traumas leave scars.  This is my beginning of addressing my healing and my scars.     

The stores in my head have helped me create expectations - both of others in the world and of myself - that are NOT congruent with reality and do not set anyone up for success.  Sharing my thoughts on how to have realistic expectations led me to discover I don't wanna have any at all!!!! But how do I accomplish that?   

As soon as I awaken, I am feeling an unexplained dissatisfaction and I am craving all that is unhealthy.  I hit the record button and share my thoughts about the morning's cravings, stress and my thoughts on discovering new coping skills.  

Working to find my footing and struggling to convince myself I am capable of this adventure....I share my process of building my confidence and learning to view myself as NEW today.

Ramblings of an addict... sifting through the stories I tell myself that lead to continued use and abuse of substances and self.  A sharing of the story that led me to a new experiment in taking 1 Day at a Time!!! 

After some practice listening to myself and examining the way I communicate with myself, I am pondering the perspective from which I view my world and realize I may be wrong...  often very wrong.  And I don't like being wrong!  Yet getting it 'right' becomes my newest experiment.  

As I meander through my thoughts on how I communicate with myself, the words I choose, and the consequences that come from those choices; I realize the power of speech...even when I'm not speaking aloud!!!  

The first episode of The Story in My Head.  Welcome to my experiment of listening to myself and honestly reflecting on the stories I tell myself.  The stories in my head create strong emotions, drive my behaviors, affect my self worth and shape all of my relationships.  Episode 1 is the beginning of my journey toward healing as I climb off the couch and out of a dark headspace.  

This is the trailer for The Story in My Head, hosted by Amy.  New episodes every Wednesday.