Harley Malarkey Podcast: Old Dog New Tricks

Today we’re talking about Mary Magdalene Revealed and the lost gospel that never made the biblical cut because the early church clearly wasn’t interested in hearing from women. With men mentioned by name around 1,700 times in scripture and women only 93, the imbalance speaks for itself. We explore what Christianity might have looked like if the divine feminine hadn’t been edited out. Harley has a lightbulb moment about why she always hated history class: it all based on men and war and power struggles… not the kind of humanity or perspective women actually connect to.

We’ve officially decided it’s time to get back into the Christmas spirit. In this episode, we unpack our childhood Christmases - the magic, the traditions, and the moments that made us step back from the holiday cheer for a while. We dive into the great Santa debate (should you lie to your kids in the name of Christmas magic?), the glory and the chaos of Elf on the Shelf, and why, after a few grinchy years, we’re finally feeling excited about Christmas again.

We start off this episode a little lighter, recounting the adventure of getting Harley's Dad to Cabo for her brother's wedding and discovering that weddings are the Super Bowl for singles. Then we shift into Brian’s latest therapy realization: what he long thought was anger was actually guilt running the show. We talk about how guilt shaped his reactions, his parenting, and his internal world, and how naming it is already creating space for more peace and freedom.

In this episode, we dive into the follow-up you’ve all been asking for. After Brian’s near-death experience made its way into People Magazine, we’re sharing where things actually stand now - the doctor’s appointments, the lingering fatigue, and the very real ups and downs of the past five weeks. Harley finally hits her emotional wall mid-recording (yep, we paused and came back two days later), and we talk about what this whole experience has shaken loose for both of us.

As painful as it is to relive the terrifying day we faced in Italy, we’re opening up about Brian’s unexpected health scare - what happened and the lessons we’re still learning. Our hope is that by sharing this experience, it resonates with anyone who’s had to navigate a similar situation in their own lives.

This week, we’re recapping the first half of our Italian adventure where we found paradise. We dive into our dreamy days on the Tuscan coast, one of our favorite hotels ever, and the story of how we politely declined a yacht invite from a couple wild old Italian men. We also talk about being open to synchronicities and a crazy run-in with a very famous chef. Don’t miss next week’s episode… when heaven turns just a little bit hellish.

We’re digging into the gold digger convo. After some comments on our age gap relationship reel, we decided to break down what actually makes someone a gold digger - and why that label gets tossed at women way more than men. We talk about how both sides usually benefit, the importance of keeping your own identity (even if you step into a more traditional role later), and how women’s roles have evolved while society’s judgments… not so much.

In this episode, we pull back the curtain on what “raw dogging life” really looks like. You’ll hear us in real time - frustrated, vulnerable, and working through it. For the first time in 40 years, Brian is facing his emotions without the buffer of substances, and it’s revealing the deeper layers of healing still to come.
Recorded across two days, you’ll hear the evolution - from high tension to deeper understanding.

Malarkey just hit 53 - and also marked 3 years (mostly) alcohol-free! We talk about his one slip-up, the surprising gifts sobriety has brought him, and how quitting booze led him to drop other numbing habits like weed, caffeine, nicotine, and antidepressants (have a time & a place - no shame!). Plus, a quick dive into Harley’s experience with the other side of addiction: how some people are drawn to dating addicts in the first place.

Our first episode on age-gap relationships was one of our most popular - so we’re back, answering the questions you really want to know. We talk about our different music tastes, what our friends and family actually thought about our age difference, and why we believe love defies age (with a few exceptions). Plus, Malarkey coins a brand-new term of endearment for Harley to call him - her ol’ nut dragger. Expect plenty of laughs and some honest conversation about what it’s really like to be in an age-gap relationship.

First booze, then coffee… and now the gummies?! Brian just dropped his last vice and is officially running on water and oxygen. In this episode, he gets real about why it was time to say goodbye to his beloved weed gummies, and how ditching them has already leveled up his mood, focus, and energy.

This week’s episode dives into both big and small questions through a couples card game called Tales. From “What was your favorite game at recess?” to “Who inspires you?” and “What do you want to do when you retire?” - we cover it all. We share a cautionary story about why waiting until retirement to enjoy your life is a bad idea, and give our thoughts about how to win at the game of life if SIM theory is real.

Harley and Malarkey share practical strategies for navigating life with a narcissist. Drawing from their own experiences with narcissists and borderlines, they reflect on the hard lessons they've learned along the way. They explore where these personality disorders may originate - both from a psychological and a spiritual perspective and offer concrete tools to help you avoid getting pulled into a narcissist's trap. 

Missed it the first time? We’re back with our Instagram Etiquette episode. We get into the do’s and don’ts of navigating social media with a partner, how alcohol fueled some of Malarkey’s not-so-great choices in the past, and why being honest with yourself matters most. 

Who are five people who are no longer with us that you’d like to spend some time with in eternity? The similarities between your choices can reveal the qualities you might be seeking to develop in yourself. Malarkey’s list shows he’s craving more peace, while Harley’s picks prove she’s ready to shake things up and make the world better by challenging the status quo.

We've officially joined the cult of weightlifting. Malarkey was as Harley affectionately called him a "cardio queen" terrified of bulking up, but now he's feeling the gains and not just in his biceps. We get into the surprising benefits of strength training, self-care routines, and how it’s never too late to turn your life around - whether that means quitting booze, kicking nicotine, or finally picking up a dumbbell.

This week we're talking about the stress of us fighting more in the past couple of weeks. We share the petty details, how we pulled ourselves out of the spiral, and how not to let a few arguments ruin an otherwise good trip. Through the disagreements, we landed on something helpful: sometimes a lose-lose can actually be a win-win. When both people own their part and take responsibility, it’s easier to reconnect and put the relationship first.

In Harley D's words, this is a woo-woo one. We’re talking reincarnation, soul contracts, and the idea that you might’ve actually chosen your parents before you got here. We explore how this perspective can make the hard stuff in life feel a little more meaningful—and maybe even give us a reason to thank the difficult people in our lives for the opportunity for growth. Plus some book recommendations if you're spirit curious.

This week, Brian outs himself for a recent nicotine relapse—yep, the bad boy was back on the vape. We get into the weird grip nicotine can have, especially in the culinary world where cigarettes basically come with your apron. He shares what finally made him quit the first time, what nicotine withdrawals actually feel like, and why trying to quit (again) is kind of like dating your worst ex.

Brian gets honest about something that’s been quietly running the show: his addiction to success. We unpack how the endless drive to achieve can take a dark turn, and why naming the problem is such a powerful first step toward healing. We also talk about building more self-awareness in your daily life, challenging urgency culture, and remembering that most emails and texts aren’t the five-alarm fires your brain thinks they are.

This episode was inspired by a couple petty comments that got under Harley’s skin—and unraveled a much bigger conversation about why women so often see each other as competition. We talk about how this mindset is shaped by the culture we grow up in, how unhealed wounds (especially between mothers and daughters) get passed down, and why it’s so important to recognize the triggers we’ve inherited. At the end of the day, we’re stronger when we choose connection over comparison.

It’s our 1-year anniversary of Old Dog New Tricks, and that means it’s time for some pussy positivity. We’re unpacking the classic teenage narrative of calling a girl's pussy tight or loose—and all the problems with this odd cultural refrain. We get into childbirth, pelvic floor health, and why we’d NEVER use “pussy” as an insult. As Brian says, calling someone a pussy is a battlecry for greatness!

In the second half of his life, Brian is committed to building a healthier relationship with food—something that’s been hard to maintain after decades working in kitchens. We talk about the importance of having respect and reverence for our bodies, and how that mindset naturally leads to nourishing them with good food and movement. When you trust and listen to your body, you often get the body you want—unlike when you’re stuck in a cycle of punishment and control.

We’ve got another flashback episode for you this week. Next week, we’re back with a new episode—Body Image Part 2—so we thought it was the perfect time to revisit Part 1. In this episode, Malarkey opens up about his eating habits as a chef and how his childhood still shapes the way he looks at food and exercise. Harley shares her 15-year struggle with disordered eating and how she ultimately healed her relationship with food and her body.

We're flashing back to one of our earlier episodes on drinking. What is it like to be a non-drinker in a society where drinking is so deeply ingrained in the culture? We discuss how our lives have changed since we stopped drinking, why we ruin parties and if drinking is really as fun as it's made out to be. 

Can time apart actually bring you closer? In this episode, Harley and Malarkey dive into why a little space can spark connection, deepen trust, and keep love feeling fresh. They also get real about a time trust broke down and the long road to building it back - which has now made them stronger than ever.

Today we talk about Brian being announced as the new host of the beloved show, Cutthroat Kitchen. Brian shares his first experience as a TV co-host (after Top Chef) on The Taste with Anthony Bourdain and his 15 year journey to hosting his own show. This episode isn't just about food TV, it's about the psychological and spiritual journey of getting what you want.

This week's episode is about how to have the confidence to ask for what you want - whether that's a raise, a hotel upgrade, a discount on Prada sunglasses or something in your relationship. 

Brian woke up in a state of caffeine-free clarity the other morning and decided he is going to live to 100. Join us as we discuss the funny reason why Brian wants to be a centenarian (hint it's to ruin Harley's future sex life), and more meaningful ways that you can increase your lifespan and healthspan.

This week Brian shares how quitting coffee has changed his life. If you can believe it, he has MORE energy without caffeine. We discuss society's two most sanctioned drugs - caffeine and alcohol and invite you to bring more awareness to the effects caffeine might be having in your life. 

Today's episode is a must listen if you want to sustain joy and passion in a long-term relationship. We discuss why kissing for just 6 seconds can have such a huge impact, why to be a golden retriever with your partner, and the value of love languages and spending time apart.

On today's episode, we try to re-brand prenuptial agreements and share why we think most people should be signing them. We discuss the many dark sides of divorce, how much money divorce lawyers make and how signing a prenup can create a stronger, more honest foundation for a new marriage.

This week we come to you raw off the heels of one of our most challenging fights. We share the couples therapy immersion we did in Santa Barbara last week, and the painful rupture that followed. We then had a 911 emergency therapy session where Brian met his inner child. We discuss the magical shift this created in both of our lives.

This week we start off with a new segment to help inspire your culinary adventures - what is the best thing we've eaten this week. Then we get into sober sex. We decide sober sex doesn't necessarily mean sober from alcohol, but it means being fully present to get the most out of the experience. Harley gives you some sex-ed about female arousal, and we discuss how to maintain a good sex life in long-term relationships.

Two people who have been out of the dating pool for years give you their dating advice. We discuss grieving a break up, how to get clear on what you want, and why we think it's better to meet in the wild and how to do it. Harley also shares how she manifested Malarkey and reads her journal entry from the day before they met.

This week's episode was inspired by our most popular episode - I Hope You Dance. Is joy our birthright or something that should be earned? We discuss how to invite more joy into your daily life and how following your joy can lead to a more robust life.

Harley opens up about 15 years of struggling with disordered eating and body image and how she eventually healed her relationship to food and her body. Malarkey discusses his eating habits as a chef and how his childhood still affects the way he looks at food and exercise. This is a vulnerable episode that we hope helps you amidst all the New Year's pressure to diet.

Join us for our 2024 recap where we share our highs, lows, and buffalos. Brian shares exciting news about an upcoming show, we talk about our biggest fight of the year and what it taught us, how Harley met a male stripper on Black's Beach and more. Happy New Year! We are so grateful for each and everyone one of you.

The cliche is true - life is a journey, not a destination. Today we discuss how Brian is always focused on the next thing and the next thing, and the consequences that has. We discuss why it's important to live in the present, not spread your energy too thin, and some practices for enjoying where you're at right now.

Part 2 of Harley and Malarkey abroad. We talk about the difference between traveling and vacation, why we enjoy immersing ourselves in the local culture, and why Brian needs to learn how to go with the flow more. We also talk about our time in the Golden Triangle where civil war, a Chinese crime boss and Thailand intersect.

Harley and Malarkey go abroad! We share our wild first 2 days in Vietnam which includes eating pig feet in a dark alley and pho on the floor of a stranger's bedroom. We teach you about the magic hand, and we discuss what we learned about the most taboo thing to eat in the world. 

Macklemore says there are "No Bad Days" but is that a bunch of Malarkey? We talk about bad days and our different perspectives on how to make it through. Should you keep getting back on that horse no matter how many times you get bucked off?

You asked and we answered - we talk about our favorite places to eat in San Diego. Of course, we talk about Brian's restaurants and the things you must order at each of them. We also share our other favorite spots to eat across the county and why. Let us know the places we missed!

5 months into our podcast, we decided to talk about something we know both know about... food! We discuss how to help your teenagers be healthier, how to create healthy habits for kids at a young age, and how we stay healthy eating out often. 

We tell the story of the fateful day we met almost 3 years ago at a food & wine festival in Huntington Beach. This was originally going to be our first episode of Old Dog New Tricks, but we decided to come out with a bang (penises) instead. Hope you enjoy this throwback to the beginning of our love story.

Harley got sick after too many handshakes at a food and wine festival recently, and it made us wonder - do we really need to be shaking hands as a greeting? Or is this another tradition that has outlived its use? We discuss why we think handshakes are gross and what our other options are.

We are back with more penis positivity! Inspired by a walk Harley took on our local nudie beach, we discuss the backlash from our first episode, to bush or not to bush, penises in the media and so much more. Tune in for a wild ride.

The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships. How do you know if you're in a good relationship? How do you manage conflict and get through the challenging times? Today we discuss our relationship, what makes it good, how we've gotten through hard times, and what we're still working on. (None of the statements in this episode apply to abusive relationships.)

This week we have a fun episode for you. We tell the story of the naked man who showed up at our front door last week. Harley and Malarkey have different opinions on how to handle the situation - who's approach would you take?

Today we tackle another taboo topic. Should there be more than two options for laying a body to rest? What are the logistics when someone dies? What happens to the soul when we die? Can we communicate with our loved ones who have passed on?

From a young age, boys are told that they need to be tough and only certain emotions like anger are safe to express. We discuss how this leads to men who feel like they have to keep everything inside, and the impact this has on men's mental health and ability to connect. 

Like Brian's dad used to say, sh!t or get off the pot. After spending a weekend with "sober curious" friends on a bender, we discuss why we think you should either commit to being the town drunk or give up booze for one year.

Breath is the most basic ingredient of life, but many of us go throughout our days without ever taking a conscious breath both literally and metaphorically. Malarkey shares a story of how Guy Fieri showed him why he needs to breathe more.

Does money buy happiness? We discuss how our upbringings shaped our views of money today, what we think of gold diggers and flying business class. Malarkey shares why he thinks restaurants are the great equalizer when it comes to being self-made. 

We were inspired by a recent Celebration of Life to throw our pride to the wind and start dancing more. We discuss why we think dancing and singing is one of the keys to a full life even if you're tone deaf with two left feet.

Brian has more to say on why he has been lied to about salted butter his whole career. We continue our conversation from last week discussing why you should always question authority.

This week we are all over the place - where do we go when we die? Why should we question religion and authority? What is biohacking and why doesn't Dave Asprey want you to cum? And why aren't chefs allowed to use salted butter?

Reddit wonders what we could possibly have to talk about with an 18 year age gap. We discuss why we believe the adage "Age is Just a Number" has a lot of truth. 

What is it like to be a non-drinker in a society where drinking is so deeply ingrained in the culture? We discuss how our lives have changed since we stopped drinking, why we ruin parties and if drinking is really as fun as it's made out to be. 

We explore the do's and don'ts of navigating social media in a relationship. What do we think is okay and what do we think you should steer clear from? Hint hint - don't send sexy DM's to someone who isn't your partner and definitely don't name your baby after her. 

We think the menstrual cycle is not something that should only be discussed in hushed tones. In this episode, we talk about period sex, different birth control methods, and how to embrace the cycle that makes the world go round.

We aren't talking about THAT apple... we are talking about the Apple that you are holding in your hand. Are social media and smart phones changing us for the worse?

Harley shares what happened on Christmas that led to her to make an appointment with a plastic surgeon. Luckily Bono (yes, that Bono) helped her decide to keep her nose and accept herself. 

In this episode, we realize penises have been left out of the body positivity movement, so we start the penis positivity movement! We discuss men's relationship to their penis from birth to middle age and why it's time to accept and love whatever you've got.