Happy holidays, compadres! Over here, we're celebrating lame holidays like Christmas and Festivus, but you know what they celebrate over in Equestria? That's right, the founding of their nation! Which was super chill and not weird and definitely didn't appropriate Native American cultural terms for a pun.

This week: "Hearth's Warming Eve." Thank God we've got Oak of the Alexandrites guesting for this one, huh?

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Duration: 01:36:59

Happy birthday to our favorite little dragon, Spikey Wikey! What's he getting this year? Robbed! And also puberty! Yeah we got another fucked one gang!!

This week: "Secret of My Excess." If you thought My Little Pony wasn't weird enough about dragons, you ain't seen nothin yet

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When Cain’s not podcasting, they’re putting their talents to use as an interdisciplinary artist. They’re responsible for the diligent transcription work of this podcast, and can be found...

Duration: 01:15:50

To be young and carefree amid the blue waters and idyllic landscape of sun-drenched Italy in the late 1950s; that's la dolce vita Tom Ripley (Matt Damon) craves- and Dickie Greenleaf (Jude Law) leads. When Dickie's father asks Tom to bring his errant playboy son back home to America, Dickie and his beautiful expatriate girlfriend, Marge Sherwood (Gwyneth Paltrow), never suspect the dangerous extremes to which Ripley will go to make their lifestyle his own.

This week: "Sweet and Elite" and listen I can only write so many of these things and it's not like you people...

Duration: 01:09:45

Oh no, a crisis in Ponyville! Several crises, in fact! A statistically unlikely number of them! Will Rainbow Dash be able to save the day, or will she be forced to learn a lesson about friendship and arrogance? That's it those are the only two choices

This week: "The Mysterious Mare Do Well." And may your mare do well, too.

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Duration: 01:06:24

yes I am prouder of that title than I am of anything I've ever done in my life let me write for the next generation of MLP

This week: "May the Best Pet Win!" And don't worry: it will. It will.

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When Cain’s not podcasting, they’re putting their talents to use as an interdisciplinary artist. They’re responsible for the diligent transcription work of this podcast, and can be found on Bluesky and Tumblr. When Padd’s not po...

Duration: 01:08:40

Oh boy, time for another hot dose of the Cutie Mark Crusaders! I sure hope one of them doesn't end up with an inscrutable illness that turns her French, almost as much as I hope we don't ever see the racist caricature again!

What's that? We have both? Well, at least we have special guest Ash to help us out, and maybe break our brains with a wild fanfic reference to boot!

This week: "The Cutie Pox." Mrs. Rogers will you ever be stopped

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Duration: 01:16:19

Gamers, with apologies to Cain, it's time for another episode with their least favorite pony. Can Rarity and Sweetie Belle overcome their struggles to learn the true meaning of sisterhood? How much dirty is enough dirty? Who the FUCK is Hondo Flanks? Stay tuned to find out!

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When Cain’s not podcasting, they’re putting their talents to use as an interdisciplinary artist. They’re responsible for the diligent transcription work of this podcast, and can be found on Bluesky and Tu...

Duration: 01:02:56

Hey ponies, quick question: is it possible to bully the monarch of a country? This week, we find out, along with special guest Jory, the only Jory! Join us as we watch Luna, princess of Equestria, and her spooky redemption tour.

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When Cain’s not podcasting, they’re putting their talents to use as an interdisciplinary artist. They’re responsible for the diligent transcription work of this podcast, and can be found on Bluesky and Tumblr. When Padd’s not podcasti...

Duration: 01:26:32

It's time for a shake-up! Twilight's had it too good for too long in her ivory tower, getting to write all those letters to Celestia herself. It's about time we took the power back, because we should be getting to write those letters to Celestia, too.

This week: "Lesson Zero." Twilight will pay for her sins.

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When Cain’s not podcasting, they’re putting their talents to use as an interdisciplinary artist. They’re responsible for the diligent transc...

Duration: 01:11:19

Holy fucking shit, we're alive! And not just alive, but still watching My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic! I'm not sure if that's better or worse than the alternative.

In any case: opening the season strong, we're here talking about "The Return of Harmony," aka the debut of the fandom's most memetic antagonist. Will we survive the rampant 2011 Tumblr villain energy? God I hope we don't

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Duration: 01:46:50

It's been a ride, but we're not done yet! Before Theo and Cain can call it a season wrap, it's time to answer some questions once and for all: what were the best episodes of season one? The worst? What surprised us about this return to a shared pony obsession?

And, most important of all—what are Cain's real feelings about the objectively best pony?

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Duration: 01:12:59

Finished already? Not quite—but, for the final episodes of season one, who else could we have on but OG brony Dan (not that one) of Daniel's Dread Tales! Join us as we go over the implicitly fucked-up nature of "Party of One" and the explicitly fucked-up nature of "Best Night Ever."

Don't forget your invitation! Parties!

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When Cain’s not podcasting, they’re putting their talents to use as an interdisciplinary artist. They’re responsible for the diligent...

Duration: 02:25:48

Back to the regular release schedule, which means this week we've got our normal two episodes: starting with "The Cutie Mark Chronicles," which suggests that Spike was brought into Twilight's life as a child slave, and "Owl's Well That Ends Well," which fully confirms it!

This isn't a bit! Spike's entire paradigm of existence is in servitude to the Equestrian royal hierarchy and if I have to realize that, so do fucking you!

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Duration: 01:36:34

What's this? An off-week episode? Yes, "Over a Barrel" fried our pretty little brains so hard that the usual duo episode had to be split up, but have no fear: we still have plenty to say about "A Bird in the Hoof." Mostly variations on "what the fuck, Fluttershy?"

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When Cain’s not podcasting, they’re putting their talents to use as an interdisciplinary artist. They’re responsible for the diligent transcription work of this podcast, and can be found on Blu...

Duration: 00:43:08

sigh. okay yeah it's time for the buffalo one.

Featuring special guest Dr. Vasilije Mesarović!

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When Cain’s not podcasting, they’re putting their talents to use as an interdisciplinary artist. They’re responsible for the diligent transcription work of this podcast, and can be found on Bluesky and Tumblr. When Padd’s not podcasting, they’re working hard as a graphic designer, stream producer, and chat moderator. They’re responsible for the amazing art of this podcast, and can be fo...

Duration: 01:47:41

Not green like that! Green as in "Green Isn't Your Color," which guest Dan "Big Challenges" Silva has been lovely enough to stop in for this week! In fact, you could say he's put in a dogged amount of effort, which is fitting given that our other episode is "A Dog and Pony Show." Oh, we have fun here. Please don't report us to OSHA.

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Duration: 02:38:06

Welcome back to the grind, you pasty fucks! This week, we've got a Cutie Mark Crusader double feature on the assembly line, starting with a Fluttershy torture session in "Stare Master" and ending with an everypony torture session in "The Show Stoppers." We come no closer to dispelling the dystopian mythology of cutie marks, and will forever observe the process in stultified horror. Enjoy!

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Duration: 01:51:42

gonna keep it fat and real with you, chiefs: the first episode this week is like if God's Not Dead was about Pinkie Pie and we aren't sure how to handle it. also: Sonic Rainboom!

Episode transcript can be found here!

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When Cain’s not podcasting, they’re putting their talents to use as an interdisciplinary artist. They’re responsible for the diligent transcription work of this podcast, and can be found on Bluesky and Tumblr. When Padd’s not po...

Duration: 01:52:55

Wake the fuck up, it's time for friendship! This week at the factory, Paddington heads out on sabbatical just in time to miss out on the homoerotic tensions of "Fall Weather Friends," while Theo sits his ass down and listens to Cain go off on "Suited for Success."

Episode transcript can be found here!

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When Cain’s not podcasting, they’re putting their talents to use as an interdisciplinary artist. They’re responsible for the diligent transcription work of thi...

Duration: 01:51:01

Another busy week at the Friendship Factory! This week, our gang escapes the icy clutches of what is objectively the worst season in "Winter Wrap Up," and question the dystopian logistics of Equestria's talent assignment system in "Call of the Cutie."

Episode transcript can be found here!

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When Cain’s not podcasting, they’re putting their talents to use as an interdisciplinary artist. They’re responsible for the diligent transcription work of this podcast, and can be found on Blu...

Duration: 01:49:48

Welcome back to the Friendship Factory! This week, our trio must carry the weight of their sins and walk through the zebra-striped minefield that is "Bridle Gossip." They also talk about "Swarm of the Century," but let's be real: you're here for the racism special.

Episode transcript can be found here!

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When Cain’s not podcasting, they’re putting their talents to use as an interdisciplinary artist. They’re responsible for the diligent transcription work of this podcast, and ca...

Duration: 01:56:05

Episode transcript can be found here!

Ohh, we're just a trio of sweepy widdle babies this week. Between "Dragonshy," where the gang bullies Fluttershy into kicking a sentient being out of its legally obtained domicile, and "Look Before You Sleep," where the Rarijack shippers really got their fuckin shot in the arm, how are we ever going to get any work done? Find out, only at the Friendship Factory!

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Duration: 01:54:16

Episode transcript can be found here!

This week, our hosts are getting into the thick of it with "Griffon the Brush-Off," aka the episode where Rainbow Dash gaslights Revy from Black Lagoon, and "Boast Busters," aka the episode that introduces the only bit character who matters. Further episode summary has been replaced with sounds of Theo going "YEAH BOI" for increasingly long stretches of time.

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Duration: 01:46:16

Episode transcript can be found here!

This week, join our hosts as they get back to "The Ticket Master," aka the start of the closest thing this season has to a story arc, and "Applebuck Season," aka the episode that makes Theo extremely normal about his one true god. Will our heroes be able to work out the logistics of obtaining a business license? Will our hosts be able to avoid fucking technical issues on their second episode ever? Only time will tell!

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Duration: 01:29:43

Episode transcript can be found here!

Join your hosts Cain, Padd, and Theo as they all dive back into their shared teenage obsession, the one and only My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

This week, they’ll have to start from the beginning to face their fandom demons—in this case, the demon Nightmare Moon, who has returned to enshroud Equestria in darkness and also blast our hosts in the face with cringy fandom memories. Which is worse? Find out!

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Duration: 01:57:44